“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Feb 17, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My youngest grown son discovered that his girlfriend -- his possible future wife -- was texting pictures of herself to his stepfather. Needless to say, he told her the relationship is over.

Now, for obvious reasons, he no longer wants to be around his stepfather, and is deeply concerned about how it will affect his relationship with his mother, my ex-wife. They are close, which I encouraged, but she seems to be in denial about the situation. Have you any suggestions on how to be supportive of my son and all the dynamics?-- TOO MUCH DRAMA IN MISSOURI

DEAR TOO MUCH DRAMA: You say your ex-wife seems to be in denial. Was the reason for the breakup ever explained to her? If it wasn't, then your son should talk to his mother about it, and from then on arrange to see her alone.

DEAR ABBY: I just dropped off my 13-year-old son at a party. He's a seventh-grader, and when I take him to a friend's house, if I haven't met the parents, I walk him to the door and introduce him and myself to them.

I do this to try and make sure the parents are at home and responsible.(Honestly, if they weren't, I'd take my son and leave.) I know it embarrasses him, but most parents thank me because they want to meet the parents of the kids who are in their homes.

Times are different for our kids today. I just can't believe that someone would simply drop off a child and speed away when he/she has absolutely no clue who these people are. I'm not a helicopter parent; I'm just a mother who loves my children enough to make sure they're in good hands.

Recently, a ninth-grader in our school district had a house party where 30 kids received underage drinking citations! Sorry -- but I'm taking no chances. Parenting is not being your child's best friend. Please encourage parents not to be afraid to reach out to other parents. It really does take a village.-- VIGILANT IN BUCKS COUNTY, PA.

DEAR VIGILANT: Your children are fortunate to have a mother who is as involved in their lives as you are. Not all young people are so lucky. Your son may find your vigilance embarrassing, but take comfort in knowing that all kids your son's age find their parents embarrassing.

Orchids to you for pointing out the importance of parents networking with each other to ensure that their children are safe and supervised. When an entire "village" is watching, there is less chance of a lamb straying.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife for 33 years. I recently found a pair of her panties with "Booty Call" printed across the back. I can't help but wonder. She has never had underwear like that in 33 years. What gives?-- SURPRISED TEXAN

DEAR SURPRISED: Was your wife wearing the lingerie at the time? If not, how did you discover the panties?

The surest way to get to the bottom of this would be to ask your wife this question. She may have thought they were cute and bought them on impulse -- or they may have been a gift. Please let me know, because not only am I interested in her answer, but I'm sure millions of readers are curious, too.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#2 Feb 17, 2014
LW1: If your son is old enough to contemplate marriage, hes old enough to handle his relationship with his mother on his own. So, Id stay out of that and let Jerry Springer handle it.

LW3: Id ask her.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#3 Feb 17, 2014
LW1 - Team Sublime.

LW2 - Good for you. And pretty much anything a parent does embarrasses a 13yo. The very existence of parents is a huge cause for constant mortification in front of peers.

LW3 - Huh? It's just print on underwear. Some brands have "sexied up" underwear with either those words or, like the stuff available on Lane Bryant, with the word "booty" printed over a picture of an old-fashioned phone. Wearing that underwear is not exactly an act of infidelity. Your wife is what? In her 50s? Maybe she is trying to feel and look sexy since that effect is not necessarily achievable without accessories anymore. And maybe the panties are comfy and were on sale, and she is old enough not to give a hoot about what's printed on the back of them.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#4 Feb 17, 2014
1- Does his mom know what was going on with her husband? But otherwise yeah, he's an adult and can figure this out on his own

2- Good God, hope you didn't throw your arm out patting yourself on the back! I think your actions are pretty normal for most people. I think those who take a "hands off" approach of parenting are the more rare ones

3- If someone gave them as a gift, I'd say you have bigger issues, but yeah, ask her. Maybe she wants to get her s1 ut on

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Feb 17, 2014
1 Maybe I am pocking nits but everyone seems to assume teh pictures were sexy. LW doesn't say, but I agree it is likely.

I agree with Sub.

My money is on this scenario: Kid tells mom. Mom throws step dad out. Step dad hooks up with ex fiance .

Next on Jerry....

3.If she works and if there was a Christmas grab bag, I'll guess a ( probably) female co worker gave them to her as a gag
blunt advice

Essex Fells, NJ

#6 Feb 17, 2014
1. Dumping girl was the right move. And as mentioned he is an adult and can choose whether or not to see his mother. You mention this son is your youngest. Do you have grandchildren? If so I would be concerned about this creepy step grandfather and clueless grandmother ever babysitting those kids. If a man is creepy enough to cheat on his wife with stepsons girlfriend he lacks morals. What else does he do of unethical or immoral nature? Your son should tell his siblings about this.(I know I am going to get slammed but just my opinion.)
2. Hooray for you.
3. Probably a gag gift of some sort. Like a holiday grab bag or something. Ask her and find out.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#7 Feb 17, 2014
PEllen wrote:
1 Maybe I am pocking nits but everyone seems to assume teh pictures were sexy. LW doesn't say, but I agree it is likely.
I agree with Sub.
My money is on this scenario: Kid tells mom. Mom throws step dad out. Step dad hooks up with ex fiance .
Next on Jerry....
3.If she works and if there was a Christmas grab bag, I'll guess a ( probably) female co worker gave them to her as a gag
I don't think they necessarily have to be sexy to be weird. I mean, who does that? And could the step dad be close to her age? Maybe the mom got her cougar on

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#8 Feb 17, 2014
1 The GF was nobody's property. She can sext who ever she wants, and the son should learn to deal.

2 Hurray for you, now put your arm back in the sling. Patting yourself on the back will only aggravate it.

3 The real question is, why are you trying on your wife's underwear?

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#9 Feb 17, 2014
Race has my vote but these letters are as bad as Amy's. I'll just keep having my cocktails on the deck.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#10 Feb 17, 2014
I will bring the blender!
Shari23 wrote:
Race has my vote but these letters are as bad as Amy's. I'll just keep having my cocktails on the deck.
pde

Bothell, WA

#11 Feb 17, 2014
Lw2: if you're still dropping off your kid every time he goes anywhere in 9th grade, you will be the odd parent out. There's a vast difference between how things happen in 7th grade and how things happen in 9th grade.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 Feb 17, 2014
pde wrote:
Lw2: if you're still dropping off your kid every time he goes anywhere in 9th grade, you will be the odd parent out. There's a vast difference between how things happen in 7th grade and how things happen in 9th grade.
this in spades. In 9th grade, there's a decent chance he's gonna nake friends with older kids...with cars. Gonna keep him on lockdown and not allow him to go out with friends? For a 7th grader, her methods are not helicoptering. But she's got to figure out a way to start loosening the conteols a little at a time. Start giving him doses of freedom, cause in 2 years, that will definitely be helicoptering.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#13 Feb 17, 2014
RACE wrote:
I will bring the blender!
<quoted text>
I've been waiting and waiting!
pde

Bothell, WA

#14 Feb 17, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>this in spades. In 9th grade, there's a decent chance he's gonna nake friends with older kids...with cars. Gonna keep him on lockdown and not allow him to go out with friends? For a 7th grader, her methods are not helicoptering. But she's got to figure out a way to start loosening the conteols a little at a time. Start giving him doses of freedom, cause in 2 years, that will definitely be helicoptering.
If he's a 13-year-old 7th grader ... depending on when his birthday is, he could even be the 9th grader with a license. Or definitely the 10th grader able to get a license.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#15 Feb 17, 2014
Yeah, I was a bicycle warrior at the time, and had friends with licenses. But remember, depending on new driver's laws, a 16 yr old with a license is no longer able to transport a car full of youths. And if they're in a rural area, bicycling may not be an option. The LW may have little choice. If Johnny wants to go to bday party, she may have to drive him.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#16 Feb 17, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
But remember, depending on new driver's laws, a 16 yr old with a license is no longer able to transport a car full of youths.
Right. And because of the law, no one under 17 ever drinks alcohol.

I think many adults who grew up without such laws in place (like me) would not have a problem with their kid driving a group of friends around even if it was against the law. Of course the minute they do something stupid, draw attention to themselves, and get in trouble with the law, that privilege is gone.
pde

Bothell, WA

#17 Feb 17, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Right. And because of the law, no one under 17 ever drinks alcohol.
17-year-olds have lots of interesting ways to drink alcohol.

I had to laugh when my kid's school adopted a district-wide recommendation that all kids bring water bottles or sports drinks to school (so, this applied up through high school) because hydrated kids learn better. In both my junior high and high school everything except sealed juice boxes were banned. Why? Because water bottles could contain vodka, and sport drinks bottles other types of highly artificially colored mixed drinks. And yes, there were kids in my junior high carrying around alcohol in those bottles before the ban.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 6 min VetnorsGate 1,744,644
News Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 1 hr USS LIBERTY 72,072
Trump is A 5 hr Chilli J 570
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 5 hr CrunchyBacon 105,469
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 7 hr Julia 12,217
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 7 hr loose cannon 243,398
News Is Chicago bike-friendly? (Sep '07) 16 hr Cyclist 77

Chicago Jobs

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages