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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Sep 6, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I have a half-sister with whom I share a mother. Her father and my mother were married for almost 10 years. This man, I believe, had some mental issues. He would quiz me about my sexual relations with my boyfriend at the time, wanting details. He would often fly off the handle and argue with my mother for no reason. There are too many other examples to list. Quite frankly, he was a horrible husband and father.

This man died two years ago. My half-sister has since immortalized her father into someone he was not. She even tattooed his initials on her wrist.

Abby, how is a person supposed to deal with a relative who is living in fantasyland about a parent? His widow has sent her emails telling her the kind of man he really was, but she continues to act as if he was the world's best father even though he wasn't.-- KNOWS THE TRUTH

DEAR KNOWS THE TRUTH: Either your former stepfather was the greatest father in the world to her, or your half-sister needs the fantasy she's clinging to for her emotional well-being. Let her have her fantasy if it comforts her. If she raises the subject of good old dad with you, just tell her you'd prefer not to discuss it. If you do that, you'll both be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 31 and the mother of three awesome children. At 29, I left my husband of nine years and came out of the closet. I have been in a stable two-year relationship with my girlfriend, and she recently moved in with us.

My oldest child has started asking if his friends can come and stay the night on a weekend. I let one child spend the night with him once. My sister asked me if I had told the child's parent that I'm a lesbian living with a partner. When I said no, she got upset and said that because we live in a small, religious country town I should inform the child's parent of my living situation.

I can see where she's coming from, but I don't feel it's my responsibility to offer this personal information. We're hardworking, law-abiding citizens, and I am a loving and protective mother. We aren't felons who need to "disclose" our personal "crimes." What do you think?-- PROUD MAMA IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PROUD MAMA: I, too, can see where your sister is coming from, and I don't like the direction. You are not under any obligation to announce your sexual orientation to anyone. In a small town -- religious or not -- word gets around quickly on its own. Trust me on that. However, if you are asked directly, you should be honest.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter was married recently. During the wedding or the reception, someone stole money from the purses of at least two of the bridesmaids.

Are the bride's parents responsible for the loss?-- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN ALABAMA

DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE: What happened was unfortunate, and I hope the lesson the bridesmaids learned from this wasn't an expensive one. Unless you agreed to look after the young women's belongings, you are not responsible for the loss. They should have left their purses with someone they trusted or secured in a locked room or car.

As a gesture of good will, depending upon the state of your finances, you might want to make good on their loss. But you are not required to do so.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#2 Sep 6, 2013
L1: I guess I don't see how it's anyone's business to get in this person's face and trash her dad.

L2: Your sister is off her rocker.

L3: I don't think so. This happened at a wedding we went to a few years ago. Nick's sister was a bridesmaid. All the bridesmaids lost all their cash -- AT THE CHURCH! They decided to not tell the bride. She found out later, after returning from her honeymoon.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Sep 6, 2013
P.S. It's on women to guard their purses. And all bridesmaid dresses should have hidden pockets included so a bridesmaid can slip a $20 in there just in case. Let a friend or S.O. hold your purse until the reception.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#4 Sep 6, 2013
LW3 - Oh, yeah, my Pet Peeve is why do they make women's clothes without POCKETS??? Even worse, decorative "fake" pockets!

I rarely buy anything without pockets, and certainly nothing to wear to WORK -- and I always tell the store why.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#5 Sep 6, 2013
1. Looks like your half-sib is following in her dads footsteps.

2. You live in a small town so you've already been outed. Tell sis to eff off.

3. Girl stuff don't care.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#6 Sep 6, 2013
1 This is the classic example of two people having two different memories even though they shared the same experiences. First, get off your high horse and let her be. Just because she does not share your memory and attitude does not mean you are better. Next WTF is it to you anyway?

2 The kids have probably already spoken about this on the playground, ignore your sister and wait for the lynch mob to show up with pitchforks and torches.

3 Not that I care, but why does a bridesmaid need cash at a wedding?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Sep 6, 2013
LW1: Sounds like your sister is as crazy as her father. This is not your problem and if you want to have any kind of decent relationship with her, you will let this go.

LW2: Sounds like your sister is the one with the problem.

LW3: Cannot understand why a bridesmaid brought money to the wedding, but it's not your problem.

I wonder if it was a guest or staff...

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Sep 6, 2013
LW1: Tune it out.

LW2: Your sister is a moron. Itís no oneís business.

LW3: Nope.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#9 Sep 6, 2013
RACE wrote:
3 Not that I care, but why does a bridesmaid need cash at a wedding?
cash bar? get a cab to get away from the crazy bridezilla? I dunno. It's been a long time, but I don't think I ever brought my purse with me when I was a bridesmaid, although I know women who never go anywhere without it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#10 Sep 6, 2013
1- Jeebus, leave her be! You sound like a vile and pathetic person.

2- I'm sure your son won't be warped or confused at all....

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#11 Sep 6, 2013
RACE wrote:
3 Not that I care, but why does a bridesmaid need cash at a wedding?
The reception might have a cash bar.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Sep 6, 2013
L1: Don't say anything and ignore it. It's her relationship with her father, right or wrong. Not yours.

L2: What Abby said.

L3: I don't remember, but I probably brought my purse to weddings I was a bridesmaid. You just grab it -- make-up, comb, keys, emergency cash, ID among other things. I'm sure I left it with someone I trusted and/or in a locked place. No one is resonsible for personal items but the person who owns them.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Sep 6, 2013
Everyone covered the bases. Saves me using up my typewriter ribbon. Carry on.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#14 Sep 6, 2013
Toj wrote:
L1: Don't say anything and ignore it. It's her relationship with her father, right or wrong. Not yours.
L2: What Abby said.
L3: I don't remember, but I probably brought my purse to weddings I was a bridesmaid. You just grab it -- make-up, comb, keys, emergency cash, ID among other things. I'm sure I left it with someone I trusted and/or in a locked place. No one is resonsible for personal items but the person who owns them.
It is astonishing how many places which do weddings don't actually have a secure place to lock things like purses up. At my sister's wedding, they expected us to leave all that stuff (so purses, all the things associated with getting ready for the wedding, etc) on a table in a room whose doors barely fully shut and didn't have any sort of lock.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#15 Sep 6, 2013
Shouldn't the groom peeps be plying them with alcohol?
itser wrote:
<quoted text>cash bar? get a cab to get away from the crazy bridezilla? I dunno. It's been a long time, but I don't think I ever brought my purse with me when I was a bridesmaid, although I know women who never go anywhere without it.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#16 Sep 6, 2013
good job everyone.

My take on LW2 is that I would think the parents of the friend already know. I mean, I at least know the parents of friends where my kid sleeps over. And if it's a small town...

LW3: It's the responsibility of the pocketbook owner (yes, it's a POCKETBOOK, you put change in a purse) to make sure it's secure. If they can't do that, it's their fault.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#17 Sep 6, 2013
I really do not think the bride's family owes the bridesmaids any money, unless they said something like, "Leave your purses in here, it's safe and we'll lock the door." And then they didn't. Otherwise, if there were no assurances of security, I think a good policy to follow is everyone take care of her own stuff.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#18 Sep 6, 2013
3: It is always on the woman to watch her purse.
I hate purses and wish wallets/jackets with inside pockets were fashionable for girls.

But shoot-I don't leave my purse in the church pew if I go to the altar! Can't trust anyone...

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Sep 6, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
But shoot-I don't leave my purse in the church pew if I go to the altar! Can't trust anyone...
I have to say I find this sad. I have no hesitation about leaving my bag under the pew, or anywhere else in my girls' church, when I go to services with them.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#20 Sep 6, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I have to say I find this sad. I have no hesitation about leaving my bag under the pew, or anywhere else in my girls' church, when I go to services with them.
Are you implying something about my church?
The implication should be with me--who trusts no one.

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