Abby 3-22

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“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#21
Mar 22, 2013
 

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What is the difference between a really really feminine gay dude and a transgender dude? Isnt it just a matter of degree?
ChicagolandChica wrote:
Dear god, do none of you know what transgender means?
She is a woman in a man's body. If she likes me, that makes her straight. This is not difficult. Hormones and/or surgery will help her look more like herself, but she is a woman either way.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#22
Mar 22, 2013
 

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ChicagolandChica wrote:
Dear god, do none of you know what transgender means?
She is a woman in a man's body. If she likes me, that makes her straight. This is not difficult. Hormones and/or surgery will help her look more like herself, but she is a woman either way.
Pretty sure most guys wouldn't consider her just like you and wouldn't ever consider dating a transgender woman. As far as I'm concerned, once a dude, always a dude.
deer abby

United States

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#23
Mar 22, 2013
 
deer abigail van buren. uff dah!

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

United States

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#24
Mar 22, 2013
 

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ChicagolandChica wrote:
Dear god, do none of you know what transgender means?
She is a woman in a man's body.
Using that same logic, can a straight man consider himself a lesbian trapped in a man's body?

Since: Jan 10

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#25
Mar 22, 2013
 
ChicagolandChica wrote:
Dear god, do none of you know what transgender means?
She is a woman in a man's body. If she likes me, that makes her straight. This is not difficult. Hormones and/or surgery will help her look more like herself, but she is a woman either way.
Until he (HE) is willing to do the work necessary (not necessarily surgery, many T people don't go that far b/c it's so extreme and has risks)-- hormones, dress, hair,k etc.-- I feel no obligation to accommodate him. Once he makes the effort, "Her" is what I'll use and be rspectful about it. Until then, nope.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#26
Mar 22, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
Not seeing a diff between either one of your examples. Sure the reason for the request differs, but it is still the same request "Please dont go there" and it is everyone's (but mine) contention that the request itself is wrong, no mater the reason.
<quoted text>
The reason behind the request is just as important as the request.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#27
Mar 22, 2013
 
LW1: I am surprised that you have not learned how to turn a deaf ear to your mother by now. However, you and your sister continue to have problems dealing with her, so hire a professional caregiver with a really thick skin, or seek out a group home.

LW2: Focus more on the "they love and accept me for who I am" part and less on the terms. You are very blessed.

LW3: "She says that she goes to keep in shape." Duh. You are an insecure control freak and you have no right to tell her where she can and cannot go. I would run for the hills if some guy told me that I couldn't go to my gym.
ChicagolandChica

Atlanta, GA

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#28
Mar 22, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Until he (HE) is willing to do the work necessary (not necessarily surgery, many T people don't go that far b/c it's so extreme and has risks)-- hormones, dress, hair,k etc.-- I feel no obligation to accommodate him. Once he makes the effort, "Her" is what I'll use and be rspectful about it. Until then, nope.
I can only assume that she will start presenting as female if she hasn't already.

That likely means hormones and female clothes and hairstyling although it does not necessarily mean surgery right away.

Seriously, Readhead is the most respectful, but the rest of you are coming off as really ignorant. I don't care what "the world" thinks, what matters is how individuals treat others, with respect, understanding and their preferred pronoun.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#29
Mar 22, 2013
 

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ChicagolandChica wrote:
She is a woman in a man's body. If she likes me, that makes her straight.
Sorry. Not buying what you're selling. Your body is what defines you as male or female.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#30
Mar 22, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Sorry. Not buying what you're selling. Your body is what defines you as male or female.
Nope. Not that simple. Here's a blurb below and here's the link that carries that blurb: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2005-0...

"Through his clinical work with some 100 patients, Reiner said, those who are genetically male, with the 46 XY makeup, will tend to identify themselves as boys if they can react and respond to male hormone, and even if they are born without a penis, underwent surgical reassignment and were raised as girls. "These children know who they are," Reiner said. "It's encouraging that many more surgeons today are choosing to postpone surgical gender assignment until the patient is mature enough to take that step. Of course, social and legal gender assignment still must be carried out at birth."

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#31
Mar 22, 2013
 
Why? You already stated the guy was wrong to even ask.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> The reason behind the request is just as important as the request.
ChicagolandChica

Atlanta, GA

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#32
Mar 22, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Sorry. Not buying what you're selling. Your body is what defines you as male or female.
Incorrect. Sex and gender are two different concepts. Sex is your body, gender is your brain.

Even if you think that transgender is not "real" (which is a laugh) there are still plenty of genital and chromosomal mix-ups out there that prove you wrong.

Since: Jan 10

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#33
Mar 22, 2013
 
ChicagolandChica wrote:
<quoted text>
I can only assume that she will start presenting as female if she hasn't already.
That likely means hormones and female clothes and hairstyling although it does not necessarily mean surgery right away.
Seriously, Readhead is the most respectful, but the rest of you are coming off as really ignorant. I don't care what "the world" thinks, what matters is how individuals treat others, with respect, understanding and their preferred pronoun.
I've just been in the GLBT stuff for a long time.

I think this person might see a change in his family's reaction when he starts to make changes in his appearance.(I assume he has not, because he did not mention it, as in"Even though I present myself as a woman in how I dress....").

Best of luck to him. He has a tough road ahead of him. And she has a tough road ahead of her.

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#34
Mar 22, 2013
 
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope. Not that simple. Here's a blurb below and here's the link that carries that blurb: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2005-0...
"Through his clinical work with some 100 patients, Reiner said, those who are genetically male, with the 46 XY makeup, will tend to identify themselves as boys if they can react and respond to male hormone, and even if they are born without a penis, underwent surgical reassignment and were raised as girls. "These children know who they are," Reiner said. "It's encouraging that many more surgeons today are choosing to postpone surgical gender assignment until the patient is mature enough to take that step. Of course, social and legal gender assignment still must be carried out at birth."
ABsolutely correct.

Years ago (40?), a doctor botched a circumcision and told the parents he'd just turn the baby into a girl and they could raise her as a girl. The kid had tons of emotional and behavioral problems as a result. Finally got some attention as an older teen, got reconstructive surger, got married and had kids, wrote a book, and started a movement against this barbaric practice (which happens more than people know).

Since: Jan 10

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#35
Mar 22, 2013
 
ChicagolandChica wrote:
<quoted text>
Incorrect. Sex and gender are two different concepts. Sex is your body, gender is your brain.
Even if you think that transgender is not "real" (which is a laugh) there are still plenty of genital and chromosomal mix-ups out there that prove you wrong.
I recently read an article on all the chromosomal gender mix-ups/combinations that take place naturally, and I was blown away.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#36
Mar 22, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Why? You already stated the guy was wrong to even ask.
<quoted text>
It was wrong to ask based on his reason. Someone gave an example that he might be concerned for her safety cause its in a bad neighborhood. That would be ok. He's asking out of concern. Not wanting her to go because of some irrational problem that he has with her going into a building where she once met a man that she slept with years ago? Foolishness.

“I Am Mine”

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#37
Mar 22, 2013
 

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ChicagolandChica wrote:
<quoted text>
Incorrect. Sex and gender are two different concepts. Sex is your body, gender is your brain.
Even if you think that transgender is not "real" (which is a laugh) there are still plenty of genital and chromosomal mix-ups out there that prove you wrong.
Call me ignorant if you want. I don't care. If you've got a d!ck, you're a male. Chop it off and/or take all the hormones you want. I'm still not going to consider you a female.

“I Am Mine”

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#38
Mar 22, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
ABsolutely correct.
Years ago (40?), a doctor botched a circumcision and told the parents he'd just turn the baby into a girl and they could raise her as a girl. The kid had tons of emotional and behavioral problems as a result. Finally got some attention as an older teen, got reconstructive surger, got married and had kids, wrote a book, and started a movement against this barbaric practice (which happens more than people know).
Not sure how this applies to a dude claiming to be a woman. Your story has a male who was masqueraded as a female because of a medical screw up. He was never a female. They just fooled him into thinking he was one

The LW? Born MALE. No doctor screwed up and accidentally sewed a penis onto him. He was not duped into thinking he was the opposite gender like in your story.

As far as being respectful or not to these folks, I'm not going to go up and start an argument with them or ridicule them. I would be just as respectful to them as I would to anyone else. But on here, we give our raw opinion.

Born with penis? Male.
Born with a penis and wanna f dudes? Gay.
Born with a penis and chop it off? Dude that chopped off his penis. Not even close to being female.
ChicagolandChica

Atlanta, GA

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#39
Mar 22, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> Call me ignorant if you want. I don't care. If you've got a d!ck, you're a male. Chop it off and/or take all the hormones you want. I'm still not going to consider you a female.
It must be nice to live in a world where you're always right.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#40
Mar 22, 2013
 
ChicagolandChica wrote:
<quoted text>
It must be nice to live in a world where you're always right.
It seems to me that many of the men on here get creeped out. Some of the people who are usually open to different concepts, ideas, and thought processes are certainly slamming the door shut on this conversation as if gender mis-identification doesn't happen.

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