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“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Nov 13, 2013
DEAR AMY: My girlfriend, a natural beauty, has recently started doing her makeup (and other people’s makeup) as a hobby. She is 24 and really doesn’t have a clear direction about what she wants to do in life, aside from raising our amazing son, who just turned 2.

She has shown some initiative in pursuing the idea of going to beauty school. The catch is . . . she is horrible at it. In recent weeks, she spends hours just caking it on. She has easily spent over $200 in the last month on new makeup.
There have been nights when she spends over an hour putting on makeup in the late evening, just to take it off an hour later before bed.

I have nicely hinted that she may be using a little too much. I have even flat out told her it is caked on. Other people are polite about it, but you can see them scramble for words to be nice when commenting on it.

She is taking the beautiful face I fell in love with and masking it with layer upon layer of facial product. Please help me find the words to get through to her while encouraging her to get better without making a spectacle of herself.-- Makeup or Breakup

DEAR MAKEUP: Maybe your girlfriend has developed a rare cake-it-on compulsion — or maybe she is just a young woman who is perhaps a little bored and stuck at home with a toddler, trying something new.

You should assume, kindly, that — like an amateur musician learning to play a new instrument or someone learning woodworking — she will improve. Be completely supportive and urge her to translate her interest into professional training. There are some amazing YouTube channels showing makeup techniques; research this, and send her links.

Tell her,“You know me — I will always think that less is more, especially with you. I want our son to see mom’s natural gorgeousness. But I also understand you are practicing.”

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have a fairly tight income and a 1-year-old child.

We recently moved and found a lovely place to rent. Our rent is fair according to local standards, but it takes about 40 percent of our monthly income each month to pay it.

Every month when we get paid, I write out the check for the next month and mail it faithfully. I ask my landlord to notify us when he receives it, so I can be sure it doesn’t get lost in the mail. However, after receiving the check, he waits around two weeks to cash it.

How do I get him to deposit it right away? We are tight on money, and I need to be sure I can get the food and diapers my baby needs.

We always budget for the rent, but it really throws our account off when he doesn’t deposit it right away. I know he passes by a bank almost daily. I want to be courteous about this. Any advice?-- Tight Tenant

DEAR TIGHT: You are a very responsible tenant, but your budgeting issues are not your landlord’s problem. I understand how having your rent funds sitting in your account might prove challenging for you, but when the check has been written and mailed, the money is no longer yours.

Even if you request that he deposit your rent checks promptly, you will not be able to guarantee that he will always do this.

You could set up a separate account only for rent, or you could contact your bank and your landlord to establish a monthly transfer directly from your account to his each month. This would ease your anxiety about the mail and his banking schedule.

DEAR AMY:“Upset Mom” had an adult son at home who didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I’m surprised you didn’t suggest that he might have a thyroid disorder or depression. He should have a checkup.-- Concerned Reader

DEAR CONCERNED: This man had enough energy to go out with his buds at night; maybe he stayed in bed because he didn’t have a reason to rise.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Nov 13, 2013
1 Yup, she's bored, since I am clueless about the rest, I will have to agree with amy, except where she bashes the man.

2 Sounds like he lives near you, just deliver it yourself, or mail it return receipt, or just assume he gets the check and look for it online banking. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Good thing you did not live before telephones and had to trust the post office exclusively.

3 Yeah, medication is the answer to everything. Sometimes the best medicine is a kickintheass.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#3 Nov 13, 2013
1: Beauty school teaches how to apply make up properly.

2: Send a money order.

3: He doesn't get out of bed BECAUSE he was out all night partying. Duh.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Nov 13, 2013
Lw2: wtf. Even if you are not tracking your finances electronically and using an old school paper register, YOU should be keeping a running balancw of whst is in your account. Once you write the check, you deduct it from the total. Don't be the dumbass that calls the bank and assumes the current balance us what you have available to spend.

My MIL does that. Gives us a check. Tells us not to deposit it till friday, but i know fom experience, if i don't deposit it on friday, and it sits in the drawer for another week, i need to call her to verify she did not mistakenly spend the money in the interim

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#5 Nov 13, 2013
1- I can't really makeup my mind about this. It's probably just a phase, I doubt she's laying a foundation for anything long term. Don't think this is a problem you'll have to face....

2- I had a landlord that did this and it is frustrating. It's very difficult to balance the books when he's sitting on a check for several weeks.

3- Of course it's a medical condition, people aren't just lazy bums for no reason...

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#6 Nov 13, 2013
1. I have a cousin who is like the girlfriend. She ( and her sisters) are naturally pretty but E likes the makeup. She likes it so much she worked for some of the make up companies in the department stores. Then she started adding more and more. She is a natural strawberry blond but now she bleaches her hair and teases it. The last time I saw her she had a couple drinks and she looked very much like an old streetwalker with a painted face. Appallingly so.

My theory, and it is only a theory, is that when makeup gets to that point it becomes a mask to hide inner pain and turmoil.

2. Mimi's suggestion about money orders is good. Asking about electronic transfers is also okay but those cost more money than writing and mailing a check.

3. What Mimi said

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#7 Nov 13, 2013
L1: So edog went all PEllen on is on his answer. He should take her, in her full make-up, shopping and suggest to get a facial and make-up to see what the competition is doing. Be ready to buy the products they use, though. They'll hard sell that stuff and she's a soft touch, obviously.

L2: What Tonka says. If that isn't enough for you, buy a money order to pay your rent. Then you'll have to take the money out of your account on your own.

L3: Sigh.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#8 Nov 13, 2013
PEllen wrote:
but those cost more money than writing and mailing a check.
I write exactly one check (rent) a month. If they would let me pay with my debit card, I would. I sent a money order to my niece last month and I think it cost me like 95¢ or something like that for a $500.00 money order. <shrug>

If you buy a money order at places like CVS or check cashing places they are like a dollar or less normally.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Nov 13, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
I write exactly one check (rent) a month. If they would let me pay with my debit card, I would. I sent a money order to my niece last month and I think it cost me like 95¢ or something like that for a $500.00 money order. <shrug>
If you buy a money order at places like CVS or check cashing places they are like a dollar or less normally.
I'm a huge fan of Chase Quickpay. It's how I pay the rent. Freaked out the landlord at first, now she absolutely loves it and wants everyone to pay that way but she's not going to make people do it.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#10 Nov 13, 2013
L2: see if your bank does online bill pay (where they write and mail the check for you). Our bank automatically makes any funds which are mailed out via automatic bill pay unavailable the day they write/mail the check. It doesn't work if you're using checks to "kite" (sending them before you actually have the funds to pay them) but it works if what you're worried about is balancing your actually available funds versus the funds still in your account.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#11 Nov 13, 2013
LW1 - Send her to beauty school. They will set her straight.
LW2 - I don't get it. You have written the check and sent it. You no longer have the money. Why are you writing checks on money you have already spent? It is not that hard.
Is it my imagination or are there no real problems here?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#12 Nov 13, 2013
pde wrote:
L2: see if your bank does online bill pay (where they write and mail the check for you). Our bank automatically makes any funds which are mailed out via automatic bill pay unavailable the day they write/mail the check.
I don't understand, is this different from automatic withdrawals? They actually write and mail a physical check?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#13 Nov 13, 2013
Shari23 wrote:
LW1 - Send her to beauty school. They will set her straight.
LW2 - I don't get it. You have written the check and sent it. You no longer have the money. Why are you writing checks on money you have already spent? It is not that hard.
Is it my imagination or are there no real problems here?
It throws off your accounting when you're waiting and waiting and waiting for a check to clear
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#14 Nov 13, 2013
Team Mimi x3

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#15 Nov 13, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
I write exactly one check (rent) a month. If they would let me pay with my debit card, I would. I sent a money order to my niece last month and I think it cost me like 95¢ or something like that for a $500.00 money order. <shrug>
If you buy a money order at places like CVS or check cashing places they are like a dollar or less normally.
It's been a long time since I used a money order. I thought they were around $5.00. Thanks for the update

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#16 Nov 13, 2013
Toj wrote:
L1: So edog went all PEllen on is on his answer. He should take her, in her full make-up, shopping and suggest to get a facial and make-up to see what the competition is doing. Be ready to buy the products they use, though. They'll hard sell that stuff and she's a soft touch, obviously.
.
Hah!

(Is there hope for him yet?)

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#17 Nov 13, 2013
LW1: What Mimi said with a side of PEllen.

LW2: I like the separate account idea and the money order too. This is NOT the landlord's problem.
dahgts

Chicago Heights, IL

#18 Nov 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't understand, is this different from automatic withdrawals? They actually write and mail a physical check?
Yes, the bank will write the check and mail it. its a good way to go for a recurring payment to someone if you can't do it electronically. my mom paid her rent that way for years.

The bank she used would deduct the money when they sent it. My bank sent the check and didn't deduct the money until it cleared. Something to watch out for.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Nov 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't understand, is this different from automatic withdrawals? They actually write and mail a physical check?
Some vendors do not have the capability of accepting electronic payments, and I'm guessing that a small-time landlord wouldn't want to bother with that. So even though you may have payed your bill electronically through your bank, they still have to create and mail an actual check.

But you can't kite the check this way. Once you enter that in the system, the amount of the check is immediately deducted from your account.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#20 Nov 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
It throws off your accounting when you're waiting and waiting and waiting for a check to clear
How so? I don't understand this. Once you have "spent" the money by writing a check, whether or not the person you wrote it to has cashed the check, it is not really money YOU have. It's money promised to pay to someone else.

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