Ask Amy 4-13-14

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Apr 13, 2014
Shopaholism has an element of boredom in it . From the outside there are 2 things you can do.

The first is to inventory everything she has now. Learn to differentiate between say, 9West and Christian Laboutin shoes. Make the inventory specific: 1 pair Kenneth Cole navy peep toe high heels w sling back strap. Take a photo .

Tell her it is for insurance purposes.(It would also come in helpful if she ever decides that eBay is okay)

Create a document and make sure she can access it from her phone.

The second thing you can do is identify when she goes shopping, and go with her or take her to do something else, anything else. This will be hard on you but it will help break the behavior pattern.. Movies at the multiplex, massages at the day spa.

As a last resort, find the resale or consignment shops that fit the quality of clothes she likes.. Take her on a treasure hunt. A shopaholic likes sales. When she sees the Linda Allard/Ellen Tracy blazer that retails for $600 in a shop for $140 there is a thrill. The purpose is to deflect the impulse to things which cost less.

L2 I agree with Amy
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#3 Apr 13, 2014
1: Just untangle your finances as fast as you can. Tell her she has to go to therapy or you will go to a divorce lawyer. Her choice. Oh heck, go to a lawyer anyway. You need to know the legal ramifications of her overspending to each of you. Beyond that, find some counseling for yourself to find out what you can do to help her stop. You may be doing things to enable her that you are not even aware of.

2: I also agree with Amy. She DID mention STDs but I say go immediately to your health clinic and get tested. Considering your sexual habits, you need to do this on a regular basis. And make sure you use protection. Better yet, try being celibate until you marry and then be faithful to your spouse. Getting therapy would also be a good idea to figure out why your life is such a mess. I do hope things get better for you.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 Apr 13, 2014
Shopa-holism has an element of boredom in it . From the outside there are 2 things you can do.

The first is to inventory everything she has now. Learn to differentiate between say, 9-West and Christi*n La*boutin shoes. Make the inventory specific: 1 pair Kenneth Cole navy peep toe high heels w sling back strap. Take a photo .

Tell her it is for insurance purposes.(It would also come in helpful if she ever decides that e Bay is okay)

Create a document and make sure she can access it from her phone.

The second thing you can do is identify when she goes shopping, and go with her or take her to do something else, anything else. This will be hard on you but it will help break the behavior pattern.. Movies at the multiplex, massages at the day spa.

As a last resort, find the resale or consignment shops that fit the quality of clothes she likes.. Take her on a treasure hunt. A shopaholic likes sales. When she sees the Linda Allard/Ellen Tracy blazer that retails for $600 in a shop for $140 there is a thrill. The purpose is to deflect the impulse to things which cost less.

L2 I agree with Amy

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