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Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#21 Jun 19, 2014
RACE wrote:
Then a compromise is in order, get a pet sitter for twice a day and the LW for twice. If they are your friend and you really want to help them, then work with them.
<quoted text>
Agreed, but the LW sounds like the last thing s/he wants to do is help.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#22 Jun 19, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Speaking for myself, the LW sounded extremely annoyed by his/her "friend" for asking, and for having such specific needs. So if the LW just doesn't want to do it anymore because it's inconvenient, s/he should just say no. Not "no." <click> and hang up on the friend or anything, but I meant there's no reason to come up with fake excuses.
I wasn't suggesting fake excuses. And this has come up before in the columns. When I see advice that suggest, just say 'no' and you don't have to give an explanation, it just does not sound realistic. As Race said, your friend will more than likely want to know why. So yes, that's what the advice seems like to me. "No" <click>. Even the simple truth, "I don't want to" IS an explanation.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#23 Jun 19, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
My dog couldn't hold it for only three visits a day. If the dog is very young, old, or just used to going to the bathroom more frequently (or has a medical issue), I think 4 walks isn't unreasonable at all.
It seems that there is a big communication breakdown between these two "friends" though. If a friend asked me to take care of his/her dog and it was such a big inconvenience the first time, I sure as heck wouldn't say yes a second time.
Everyone I know that has pets has a job. No one's letting the dog out during the 9 hour work day. If someone wanted me t watch their dog and expected me to go over during lunch, in addition to morning pee, before bed pee and after work pee....they'd need to board the dog. When I've watched dogs for others, their dog stayed with me and had the same routine as my dogs(which is e same they had at home too)
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#24 Jun 20, 2014
Looks like three fake letters in a row to me.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#25 Jun 20, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>lw1: i'm fine with her not wanting to or not being able to watch the dog, but why is that a d-bag move? I used to watch my friend's dog whenever he went out of town. And vice versa. Once he got msrried 2 someone with 2 big dogs, instead of asking me, they'd have one of her friends house sit. How is anyone a d-bag for asking?
The key component of it being a dick move is the lack of notice. Surely you can agree that isn't cool.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#26 Jun 20, 2014
Yeah, but we dont know how soon she knew. Maybe he only got a few days notice because that's all she got. If she travels regularly, then it is probably work related, and she may not have these trips scheduled that far in advance.
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
The key component of it being a dick move is the lack of notice. Surely you can agree that isn't cool.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#27 Jun 20, 2014
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
The key component of it being a dick move is the lack of notice. Surely you can agree that isn't cool.
don't see anywhere in the letter where she mentions how much led time there is associated with the request, bet even with that, I don't see how that makes much of a difference. Whether you ask me a week ahead of time or 2 days ahead, either I can do it or I can't. Asking too close can only harm the asker as the askee might have had an open calendar a week ago, but now has obligations she did not previously have. Fail to see how the request negatively affects the askee as the day gets closer.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#28 Jun 20, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>don't see anywhere in the letter where she mentions how much led time there is associated with the request, bet even with that, I don't see how that makes much of a difference. Whether you ask me a week ahead of time or 2 days ahead, either I can do it or I can't. Asking too close can only harm the asker as the askee might have had an open calendar a week ago, but now has obligations she did not previously have. Fail to see how the request negatively affects the askee as the day gets closer.
It says in the letter that she asks at the last minute. Guess I was the only person to see that, huh? Whatever, I don't do last-minute requests well, too much in my schedule, and I also use my words and tell people that last-minute requests are hard to accommodate in my world. If that makes me a rigid rover, whatever.

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#29 Jun 20, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Everyone I know that has pets has a job. No one's letting the dog out during the 9 hour work day. If someone wanted me t watch their dog and expected me to go over during lunch, in addition to morning pee, before bed pee and after work pee....they'd need to board the dog. When I've watched dogs for others, their dog stayed with me and had the same routine as my dogs(which is e same they had at home too)
I meant it's not unreasonable for a dog to need 4 walks, depending on the situation. Not that it's not unreasonable to expect a friend to do it - I agree that it is, if the friend has a FT job. Before I lived close enough to work to run home at lunch, I had a dog walker do the lunchtime walk every day.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#30 Jun 20, 2014
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
It says in the letter that she asks at the last minute. Guess I was the only person to see that, huh? Whatever, I don't do last-minute requests well, too much in my schedule, and I also use my words and tell people that last-minute requests are hard to accommodate in my world. If that makes me a rigid rover, whatever.
I'll take your word for it that she said it was a last minute request. But my assessment still remains. If someone asks you at the last minute and you can't do it, you can't do it. Unless they are giving you shit for not being able to accommodate them, I still don't see why the timing of the request matters.

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