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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Mar 19, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I'm in my early 20s, happily married and financially secure. My husband and I have been discussing having children. My problem is my sister has been trying to start a family for three years, to no avail because she has infertility issues.

These issues run in our family, and there is a 75 percent chance that I will have the same problem. Should I talk to my sister about my trying to get pregnant, or wait until I'm pregnant and break the news to her then? Since I may have the same problem she's having, I don't want to discuss something with her that may never happen. Any thoughts?-- DON'T WANT TO HURT HER

DEAR DON'T WANT TO HURT HER: "Springing" news that you are pregnant would be more of a jolt to her than hearing that you're trying. I see no reason to keep this a secret from your sister. Because problems conceiving run in your family, talking about it might be helpful to both of you. If you do become pregnant, she may want to consult your doctor. If it doesn't happen, the two of you can emotionally support each other.

DEAR ABBY: After 20 years of marriage, I am now again in the dating world -- and wow, have things ever changed! What happened to the days when men would open doors, kiss your cheek, or try to impress you by sending flowers, complimenting you and chasing you to go out with them? Nowadays, the guys expect me to impress them, call them first, etc.

What are your thoughts on this? I have been on numerous dates, and out of all of them only one man acted like an old-school gentleman. Unfortunately, he was only 30. I'm in my mid-40s.

I'm not super-rich, but I have a stable job, good benefits and two well-behaved boys. What's wrong with me?-- NEW TO THE DATING WORLD

DEAR NEW: Nothing is "wrong" with you. In fact, if men still chased you, complimented you and didn't expect to drag you to bed in the late '80s and early '90s, you were lucky! Old-fashioned romance started dying out in the late 1960s and early '70s. As women became more aggressive, men became more passive.

If you like the way the 30-year-old man treats you, please don't let the age difference get in the way. Grab him, because his kind is now a rarity.

DEAR ABBY: On Feb. 5 you referred to someone as a "controlling, slave-driving witch." A lot of people in the Wiccan community, practitioners of Wicca, use the term "witch" with positive connotations. There are several slur words that I heard growing up that I would never dream of using these days because of how society has changed. Please help to spread the word.

It took years of fighting the system, but we are now recognized by the VA and included on headstones with other religious symbols.

And by the way, in our religion, the word "warlock" is an insult that means "oath breaker." "Witch" is a gender-neutral name.-- PROUD MALE WITCH AND VETERAN

DEAR PROUD MALE WITCH AND VETERAN: I hope that you and other members of the Wiccan religion will forgive my lapse, which was made out of ignorance. I used the term "witch" as a substitute for the word I wanted to use because my editors told me that referring to a woman in that way is not acceptable in family newspapers.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Mar 19, 2013
1 What is the big deal about telling someone your having unprotected sex with your husband.

2 Yeah amby 15 year age difference if fine for the cougar but if it was a man.... You would be calling him a cradle robber!

Oh, and lady. You aint all that.

3 All you wickens will rot in hell for your blasphemy! Eh, prolly not, since there is no hell.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Mar 19, 2013
L1: "Financially secure" doesn't typically mean "We make good money and have no debt," does it? Doesn't it mean "We are financially set for our future"?

Don't sisters usually tell each other when they're trying to conceive?

L2: Um, unless you got married at 50 and now you're single at 70, you are full of it. NO way were you 25 and men were showing up at your door with flowers adn trying to woo you. I'm 45 and have dated a lot. What you describe is in no way the norm.

And why do you feel like the men should do all this work but you don't have to behave in a similar manner?

L3::::rolls eyes:::

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Mar 19, 2013
LW1: You're married. I think its safe to assume that most married couples at some point try to have kids. I don't think your sister's troubles should have any bearing on whether or not you tell people you are trying.

LW2: "What happened to the days when men would open doors, kiss your cheek, or try to impress you by sending flowers, complimenting you and chasing you to go out with them? Nowadays, the guys expect me to impress them, call them first, "

Equality, baby.

LW3: STFU

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#5 Mar 19, 2013
3- Go blow it out your @zz, you POS! Calling someone a witch is offensive to Wiccans!? Is calling someone a btch offensive to dogs? Calling someone a d!<k offensive to guys named Richard? Talk about political correctness run amok. This is what liberalism gets you. Back in the day we used to burn people like you at the stake, so why don't you STFU and go to hell?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Mar 19, 2013
LW1: You are under no obligation to tell or not tell.

LW2: Whatever princess wannabe.

LW3: Oh STFU witch.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Mar 19, 2013
LW1: I don't understand why you can't just tell your sister that you're trying to get pregnant. And you have no idea what's in your uterus's future; just cross those bridges when you get to them.

LW2: I think you need to change your preconcieved notions of dating.

LW3: I know you're trying to get us to take your beliefs seriously, but you sound like a nut.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#8 Mar 19, 2013
1. Oh for gawd's sake. You are a freaking adult so give up this high school communication habit. She's your sister!

2. Lady, you sound like a high-maintenance byotch. I open doors for women still but yes, not everybody does. I bet you never have painted a room, mowed a lawn etc. because you consider that beneath you.

3. Now we have to be PC to freaking witches? F' that.
Bluehm

Nashville, TN

#9 Mar 19, 2013
LW1- Unless the sister has a history of going into crying jags over news of other folks having babies, no need to keep this a secret.

LW2- Where are you finding these bozos? Get out of the bar scene and see what church socials may have to offer.

LW3- What a bunch of malarkey and Abby's too PC to not call him on any of it [and apologized, ugh]. So the VA got PC and let them put stuff on tombstones but that doesn't make them good or trustworthy folks. Oh and if one broke an oath to obey God to become a male witch, that COUNTS as being a warlock [and the definition of a warlock being a male witch is in the dictionary so deal with it].

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#10 Mar 19, 2013
1. I did not discuss my sex life with my sister or SIL when we were trying to get pregnant.

2.I was single in the late 70's and early 80's. I managed to avoid rampant a-holes as dates. I never got flowers except after extendedaquaintance and tehn on a special occasion. My sister however married a guy who brought her flowers for a first date, opened car doors etc. They were separated within 2 years an divorced under horrendous circumstances.His ( and his mother's) pctures are in teh dictionary under teh word, er witch.

3.Own your heritage. You are a witch which was not a good thing. What it is now does not negate what you were. Too much PC.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Memphis, TN

#11 Mar 19, 2013
1. I see no reason to tell your sister you're trying. And I think you're worried about nothing. If you get knocked up, tell her, and if she can't be happy for you then shame on her.

2. Equality and women's lib happened. It cuts both ways. To quote Elaine, "We made all this progress, but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties."

3. So do you send in protest letters to TV stations whenever they show The Wizard of Oz? So you march to demonstrate against the demonization of witches at Halloween? Shut up.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#12 Mar 19, 2013
1&2: Ugh...

3: FWIW I know a few of the regs who are either Wiccan/Pagan and the stuff you guys are saying is pretty offensive.

LW was only giving information, not being obnoxious.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#13 Mar 19, 2013
LW1: I hope that both you and your sister will be able to conceive. And if you don't, I hope that you will learn to be happy with your life and the family and friends that enrich it. To answer your question, I think you should tell her now. Also, I know two women. One was a teacher in my high school. She and her husband adopted a baby boy because they had fertility issues and shortly thereafter, she became pregnant naturally. The boys were 9 or 10 months apart in age. The other woman was told that she would have trouble getting pregnant. She didn't use protection and had 3 kids. My point is, it can happen.

LW2: My friend/co-worker met her husband volunteering. He's the old school kind of guy, sends her flowers @ work.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#14 Mar 19, 2013
Bluehm wrote:
LW1- Unless the sister has a history of going into crying jags over news of other folks having babies, no need to keep this a secret.
Do siblings normally tell each other when they're trying to conceive? That sounds a little TMI to me. I never learned when my sister was trying, I only found out when she was already pregnant.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#15 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
3: FWIW I know a few of the regs who are either Wiccan/Pagan and the stuff you guys are saying is pretty offensive.
Boo hoo. They can go cast a spell on us.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#16 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
1&2: Ugh...
3: FWIW I know a few of the regs who are either Wiccan/Pagan and the stuff you guys are saying is pretty offensive.
LW was only giving information, not being obnoxious.
I think he's completely obnoxious. The term witch has ALWAYS had negative connotations. This was the case long before they co-opted the term and started calling themselves witches. Just cause they use it as something positive doesn't mean the rest of the world has to cave and stop using it as a negative. If it bothers them so much, they can call themselves Wiccans or Pagans.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#17 Mar 19, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I think he's completely obnoxious. The term witch has ALWAYS had negative connotations. This was the case long before they co-opted the term and started calling themselves witches. Just cause they use it as something positive doesn't mean the rest of the world has to cave and stop using it as a negative. If it bothers them so much, they can call themselves Wiccans or Pagans.
I can get on board with this. I actually agree that Wiccan/Pagan is a better term. Still I don't think LW was being obnoxious. A little prissy maybe, but then IME that's a pretty common thing in those circles.

<shrug>

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#18 Mar 19, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Boo hoo. They can go cast a spell on us.
Your ignorance is showing...again.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#19 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
1&2: Ugh...
3: FWIW I know a few of the regs who are either Wiccan/Pagan and the stuff you guys are saying is pretty offensive.
LW was only giving information, not being obnoxious.
I am not an empty light bulb. You guys were being patronizing and dismissive. That's offensive.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#20 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Your ignorance is showing...again.
Prove it.

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