Abby 3-18

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“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Mar 18, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: My 26-year-old daughter was married last year, but four months after the wedding her husband was arrested for child molestation that had occurred years before. She filed for divorce immediately.

In the meantime, she has met someone and is now pregnant. They want to be married as soon as her divorce is final. My question is, what kind of ceremony would be appropriate in this case, especially since her father and I are church pastors in a small town?-- SMALL-TOWN WEDDING

DEAR SMALL TOWN: If your daughter had written to me, I would have advised her not to rush into another marriage so quickly, and that if she hasn't already done so, she should seek some counseling because of what she has been through.

However, because she and the father of her baby are determined to tie the knot as soon as possible, their ceremony should be low-key, with a few close friends and family attending. The ceremony could be either a religious one or a civil one, depending upon their preference. I hope their union will be a happy and successful one.

DEAR ABBY: At what age should parents stop worrying about you? I am 41 years old, but in my parents' eyes I am still a child.

I am an independent woman and feel like I am not living the life I deserve, and I don't think it's fair. I do everything by myself, and I want them to know that if something happens to them, I'll be fine, and they should stop worrying. Am I wrong to feel this way?-- DEBORAH IN OHIO

DEAR DEBORAH: You are not wrong. However, your parents may be clinging to you not because they are worried about what will happen to you if something happens to them. They may be clingy because they are worried about what will happen to them if something happens to you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of eight years had an affair with an old girlfriend who is also married. I have spent the last nine months trying to forgive him, but he keeps breaking my heart because he can't seem to get over her.

First he was sending her emails, then trying to call her because he felt so guilty over the affair and "needed someone to talk to." Next, he went over to her house to see her. I know he loves me, but I know without a doubt he loves her, too. I'm expecting and due in the short-term, and I don't know how to heal.

The last time they talked -- about a month ago -- he told her she had ruined his life and he never wanted to see or think about her again. But I know he still searches her profile on Facebook every day and I know she blocked him, so he must be going nuts because he can't see her and her kids' pictures. I haven't confronted him about this yet, but feel I need to. Please help me.-- BROKENHEARTED IN BUFFALO

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: The old girlfriend seems to be doing her part to end the affair. Whether your husband is "going nuts" because he can't see her on Facebook is his problem, so please don't make it yours.

Bide your time, have your baby, and then when you're strong enough, do confront him. Insist on marriage counseling for both of you. You need to understand why he strayed before you or the marriage can heal.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
Mar 18, 2013
 

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1 Small town or just trailerville?

2 Step 1 Move out of their house.

3 Once you have the kid and work out in the gym and get your figure back, he will want you again. Oh, and learn how to cook!

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#3
Mar 18, 2013
 

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L1 It is the daughter's choice what kind of wedding to have esepcially the 2nd time around., and even more especially under these circumstances.

I gotta wonder though what will happen if husband #1 is aquitted.
I also wonder who is the baby daddy, husband 1 or fiance 2. As one of teh Kardashian is learning if ykou are still married when you have a kid, the babay is presumed to be the husbands evenn if it biologically is not. She could be rushing things to make sure husband 1 will have a harder time getting rights to th kid.

L2. Your letter soundslike you are 14, not 41. As long as the cops aren't at you door for a well being check everytime you stay out after 10:30, pat your parents on the head and ignore them. Parents worry. You can't stop that. All you can do is change your reaction.

And like Race said, move out of your folks house and ditch the Barbie collection.

L3 You have my sympathy. Nobody is going to win in this situation.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#4
Mar 18, 2013
 

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LW1: Its now March 2013. Assume she married in January of last year. 4 months later, is May. So since MAY at the earliest, in 10 months, she found out her husband was a pedophile, filed for divorce, found a new man. Got knocked up.

And your most pressing question is what kind of ceremony? Get Jerry Springer as the officiant.

LW2: You really have not given any example of how(or even IF) this worry manifests itself in an unhealthy way.

LW3: So your husband cheated and still pines for this other woman. She has done what HE should also be doing: cutting off contact. Yet he still goes looking. And you're worried about HIS feelings? Does your forehead have the word "Welcome" printed on it?

Since: Jan 10

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#5
Mar 18, 2013
 

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L1: Do it in the church if she wants. Keep it small. NO GIFTS. PEople already gave once. THey may give again by choice, but no registry (which will make people more inclined to give cash, which she could use with a baby on the way).

L2: Parents never stop worrying, but if they do their job correctly, they don't really, truly have much to worry about.

L3: DTMFA.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#6
Mar 18, 2013
 

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LW1: You must be so proud. Holy white trash, batman.

LW2: I fail to see how your parents worrying about you is not allowing you to live the life you deserve? I think there is much more to this story than you are telling.

LW3: Not sure why you want to be married to someone like that.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

United States

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#7
Mar 18, 2013
 

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1- so a few months after her divorce, she met a new man, got knocked up, and wants to get married again NOW. I think PE has a point, there might be some ulterior motive for moving so quickly. You should be concerned about THAT and not what type of ceremony she should have. Talk about ignoring the elephant in the room and insread worry about the color of the curtains. Dam liberals. And since when does Abby dictate what kind of wedding ceremony people have?

2- I dunno, use your words? I have a similar issue, everytime my mother rides in a car with me driving, she acts as though I'm 15 on a learners permit.
"Watch that guy!" "The lights gonna turn red!" "Take your foot off the gas!"

Hey ma, I haven't had so much as a speeding ticket in over a decade! Chillax!

3- serve him with divorce papers, see if that wakes him up.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#8
Mar 18, 2013
 

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LW1: I'm tending to agree with edog this morning.

Except for the damn liberal part.

LW2: Parents never stop worrying; it's their directive.

But other than that, what Sub said.

LW3: Wait, let me get this straight? Your husband had an affair, you knew he was having trouble getting over her, and yet you still got knocked up?

Abby can't help that kind of stupid.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#9
Mar 18, 2013
 
L1: Huh. Wow. Well, I agree with Abby. I would counsel her not to get married so quick.

L2: Parent never quit worrying. How grown up and adult you are treated probably has a lot to do with how you are projecting and conducting yourself to your parents.

L3: How much low self-esteem do you have that you are willing to continue hearing and dealing with his girlfriend? Like Red said, DTMFA.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#10
Mar 18, 2013
 

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What they're really asking:

1. How will we ever show our faces in public again?

2. How can I still get my allowance?

3. Can I dump the cheater?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#11
Mar 18, 2013
 
Ha!
Saluki Rod wrote:
What they're really asking:
1. How will we ever show our faces in public again?
2. How can I still get my allowance?
3. Can I dump the cheater?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#12
Mar 18, 2013
 

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1. Um, nothing. She deserves nothing more than the courthouse.

2. Sit 'em down, tell 'em how you feel and that you are going to live yor life according to what you want, not what they want for you. They can either be happy for you or resentful, but that's how you're going to proceed. Then do it.

3. Get thee out.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#13
Mar 18, 2013
 
LW1: I'm guessing that the couple want to marry quickly because of the pregnancy. Some people outside of Hollywood are old-fashioned that way. I'm also guessing that the family has been gossiped about, given the "church pastors in a small town" reference. The daughter has experienced a lot of changes in a short period of time, to say the least. I hope she finds true love and happiness with her new husband. As everyone else has said, the type of ceremony they have should be the least of your worries.

LW2: In the eyes of your parents, you are always a child.

LW3: DTMFA. You deserve better.

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