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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#1 Nov 5, 2012
Amy's column in WaPo says 11/4, but its not the one you guys posted yesterday.

DEAR AMY: I am a conservative Republican and like to think Iím open-minded. I have friends across the political spectrum. One of these friends is (politically) the opposite of me. Iím fine with that, but this friend seems to enjoy attacking my politics and, well, it gets personal.

I can take it, but the other day she announced that she does not intend to vote! Do I have permission to tell her to step off? If she doesnít vote, she doesnít get to trash someone elseís political point of view, right?-- Furious

DEAR FURIOUS: First of all, thank you for asking my permission to do something. I sure wish my kids would.

I agree with you that your friend should exercise her right to vote for her candidate with the same passion and vigor she attacks your point of view.

However, your situation illustrates the beauty of our system. You and your friends, neighbors and fellow citizens have the right to passionately express your political opinions. You donít get to restrict or suppress someone elseís freedom of expression. Nor can you demand that someone else vote.

However, I agree that voting is a right and a duty of citizenship that we should all treasure. I hope parents will take their kids to the polls tomorrow to demonstrate this.

DEAR AMY: I am 13 and have the best dog ever. He usually follows me around the house, and mopes when Iím gone.

He hasnít been following me around the house as much lately, and has been acting kind of mopey. I believe this is because I recently got a smartphone. I am worried that I have been spending too much time on it and not giving him enough attention. Heís only 5, and heís healthy.

I love this dog with all my heart and am saddened by the thought that he might feel that I donít love him. How can I make sure Iím spending enough time with my dog and not my smartphone? What are some ways to resist using my smartphone?-- Smartphone Addict

DEAR ADDICT: First, you and your folks should make sure your buddy gets a good medical checkup right away. Dogs tend to act mopey when theyíre not feeling well.

You are perceptive to see that your inattention has a real impact on your dog. It is possible that he is sad and depressed because he misses you. This is similar to the way some kids report feeling neglected by their parents when their parents play Words With Friends instead of talking and listening with full attention to them.

I recently read an interesting interview with psychologist Sherry Turkle, author of ďAlone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each OtherĒ(2011, Basic Books).

Turkle pointed out that an important part of adolescence is the ability to be on your own for the first time, amusing yourself and exercising some independence. Your phone is your constant companion now; it fills a space that should be filled with your own imagination and with interaction with your best dog buddy, friends and family.

When you come home from school, put your phone in a drawer for two hours. Close the drawer and leave it there (not in your pocket). You and your dog will feel much better if you play and hang out together without the distraction.

DEAR AMY:ďSad in the SouthĒ wrote a heartbreaking letter about her mother, who was an alcoholic, and her father, who was in denial. I highly recommend checking out Adult Children of Alcoholics ( adultchildren.org ).

This is a wonderful 12-step program for people who grew up in alcoholic or other dysfunctional homes.ďSadĒ must be willing to accept that alcoholism is a generational disease that affects all members of the family. It will affect her children, too, even if she never drinks a drop. She must be willing to understand that the only person she can change is herself.-- Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for the recommendation.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: "Do I have permission to tell her to step off?"
What are you, 6? Do you need permission to go to the bathroom too?
You should be thrilled that someone who does not share your views is not voting. That's one less vote against you. Idiot.

LW2: Some adult relative who thinks the kid is on his phone too much wrote this. Stupid letter.

"Turkle pointed out that an important part of adolescence is the ability to be on your own for the first time, amusing yourself and exercising some independence. Your phone is your constant companion now; it fills a space that should be filled with your own imagination"

Bla bla bla.

"When you come home from school, put your phone in a drawer for two hours. Close the drawer and leave it there (not in your pocket). You and your dog will feel much better if you play and hang out together without the distraction."

Today is the phone. Before that it was the video game system. Before that it was the tv. What egghead calls distraction is what most kids are focused on.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Nov 5, 2012
1 Yes you do! Call her out on it, tell her she is a terrible American and that there are billions of chinese who would love to have the right to vote.

2 Fake letter, Mom, quit trying to guilt your kid.

3 Yes, if you cant deal with something get therapy.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#4 Nov 5, 2012
Hey Tonka,
I bought a new toy yesterday - digital cam-corder.
It's a Samsung, but last year's model. It was marked down $100 dollars, so I scooped it up along with a tripod and memory card for just under $150.
I'm not real happy with the sound quality though, but it's a lot of fun needless to say.
Hopefully I'll get that YouTube channel going soon. But the camera does not lie, so I will have to be very cautious and selective on what I upload.....
Thanks for posting the columns.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Nov 5, 2012
L1: No, you don't get to harass her to vote. "I hope parents will take their kids to the polls tomorrow to demonstrate this." I've been to polls that don't allow children in the poll booth with their parents. One poll worker told me it was to avoid having a reading-age kid shout out who mom/dad is voting for.

L2: Dear Amy: My mom is going to write a letter on my behalf to try to get me to see that I'm a spoiled teen who is ignoring his dog.

L3: SO glad I grew up in family of non- to light drinkers.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: I suggest you talk about things other than politics.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Nov 5, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: No, you don't get to harass her to vote. "I hope parents will take their kids to the polls tomorrow to demonstrate this." I've been to polls that don't allow children in the poll booth with their parents. One poll worker told me it was to avoid having a reading-age kid shout out who mom/dad is voting for.
Take their kids? Oh, hell no. I hope that advice was intended for kids a bunch older than mine. With the length of the lines I've seen for early voting, there is no way in hell I would want to add to my misery by bringing my kids to stand there and be bored. If the obective is to encourage them to vote, bringing them to stand in that line, with no amusement park ride at the end of it, will result in them not wanting anything to do with voting ever again.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 Nov 5, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: I suggest you talk about things other than politics.
I find it interesting that such simple advice is so hard for so many people to follow. I can't tell you he last time ANYONE in my groupd of friends tried to bring up politics. The closest thing was recently I mentioned how long the early voting lines were and a friend looked at me like he was about to ask who I voted for, but then instead said, "I won't ask who you voted for".

People in the office are way more political than my friends.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#9 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Take their kids? Oh, hell no. I hope that advice was intended for kids a bunch older than mine. With the length of the lines I've seen for early voting, there is no way in hell I would want to add to my misery by bringing my kids to stand there and be bored. If the obective is to encourage them to vote, bringing them to stand in that line, with no amusement park ride at the end of it, will result in them not wanting anything to do with voting ever again.
My son has gone each time up to this year, and has gone in the booths with one of us. Luckily he was young enough that getting a few I VOTED! stickers were enough of a reward.

Tomorrow, he's getting on the school bus before we go vote. We did plan to go do it early, but the timings at the early voting places around us didn't work out.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I find it interesting that such simple advice is so hard for so many people to follow. I can't tell you he last time ANYONE in my groupd of friends tried to bring up politics. The closest thing was recently I mentioned how long the early voting lines were and a friend looked at me like he was about to ask who I voted for, but then instead said, "I won't ask who you voted for".
People in the office are way more political than my friends.
I've got one friend who likes to talk politics all the time. Our conversations are respectful, tho, and we also talk about other things. Politics isn't something I discuss with most of my friends, tho. He's the only one who comes to mind.

I don't even know who Bambi is voting for tomorrow, lol.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#11 Nov 5, 2012
L1: If this non-voter has the opposite viewpoint from you, just be glad they're not voting and let it go. Geez.

L2: Haha, Angela.

L3: My parents are not drinkers, my ex-husband is not an alcoholic, and yet I had a therapist who seemed convinced that I had issues with alcoholism in people who are/were close to me. Not sure why.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#12 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: I think that it would be perfectly acceptable to say "You're not voting? Then I don't want to hear your politcal opinions." and change the subject.

There was an *excellent* This American Life on over the weekend that discussed our politcal lives. It made me realize that my mom may have had it right. When I was a kid, I'd ask her who she voted for and she would get very irate and say "it's none of your business." Now I see why she felt that way - mostly because I'm now sure that she was voting exactly opposite of my step-dad and didn't want to hear his mouth about it.

LW2: Yup, what Angela said.

LW3: Pretty sure my mom and her sisters could use this; pretty sure they won't. They enjoy their Manhattan's waaay too much.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#13 Nov 5, 2012
My MIL posts anti-Obama stuff on FB periodically. She has never voted. Not once. And it's usually stuff saying he's a socialist. Hey, disability welfare queen! Socialism raised your kids and takes care of you now!

My mom would take me to vote but would never let me see who she was voting for. Never saw what a ballot looked like until I stepped in to the booth for myself.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#14 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Take their kids? Oh, hell no. I hope that advice was intended for kids a bunch older than mine. With the length of the lines I've seen for early voting, there is no way in hell I would want to add to my misery by bringing my kids to stand there and be bored. If the obective is to encourage them to vote, bringing them to stand in that line, with no amusement park ride at the end of it, will result in them not wanting anything to do with voting ever again.
I took the kids with me for the '08 elections, but they were very small (Nunu was still confinable to a car seat) and had no problems. Even got interviewed by a kid reporting for a Swedish TV show.

This year we thought that Lulu had the day off, but it turns out she does have school and they are conducting their own elections. Clifford vs. Duck for President.
Sam I Am

Knoxville, TN

#15 Nov 5, 2012
1. "I am a conservative Republican and like to think Iím open-minded." By definition, you're not. But that doesn't give your friend the right to be a jerk. Tell her if she can't be civil in her discussions, then you will not take part, and her lack of respect makes you question your friendship. I would not have a problem giving her the boot.

2. Good grief is that dumb.

3.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#16 Nov 5, 2012
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I took the kids with me for the '08 elections, but they were very small (Nunu was still confinable to a car seat) and had no problems. Even got interviewed by a kid reporting for a Swedish TV show.
This year we thought that Lulu had the day off, but it turns out she does have school and they are conducting their own elections. Clifford vs. Duck for President.
Yeah, they did that election thing at my kid's school too. I just question what information they are being given and how it is being presented. He asked me about 'Obama & & Mitt Romney' in the car the other day. And then started babbling "facts" about both that were not true. So I was like,'who told you that?' He never really had an answer. Concerned over if the teacher was spewing misinformation(unlikely I think) or if ther were kids who picked up on political talk at home and were spreading the nonsense to kindergarten.

But he got a sticker that said "I Voted" and underneath said "kids vote too"

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Nov 5, 2012
Oh, and I don't think he quite understood that the "race" is not a footrace. Kept saying 'they're having a race.'

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#18 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Yeah, they did that election thing at my kid's school too. I just question what information they are being given and how it is being presented. He asked me about 'Obama & & Mitt Romney' in the car the other day. And then started babbling "facts" about both that were not true. So I was like,'who told you that?' He never really had an answer. Concerned over if the teacher was spewing misinformation(unlikely I think) or if ther were kids who picked up on political talk at home and were spreading the nonsense to kindergarten.
But he got a sticker that said "I Voted" and underneath said "kids vote too"
I'm glad that they're using fictional characters in Lulu's "election." I don't need any additional political nonsense; got enough of that already.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#19 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>. Concerned over if the teacher was spewing misinformation(unlikely I think) or if ther were kids who picked up on political talk at home and were spreading the nonsense to kindergarten.
I think it's mainly other kids. My son came home with some particularly vile statements from kindergarten last year, and after we carefully talked around the subject (trying to tell him that the statements were not appropriate--they were on the level that could get adults reported to the Secret Service) we found out he got them from another kid.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#20 Nov 5, 2012
I get ridiculous nonsense from a few people at work. At least kids have an innocence to their spin!

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