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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#21 Jun 21, 2013
L1 Dunno. I have been on the friend side of that mix. Good friend and colleague from work; we work on common projects with some frequency. His wife doesn't like me. We tried to do couples things (me and husband, he and wife) and sometimes me and a gf with workfriend and his wife (like for opera or concerts). Wife sits there and glowers.
We just keep it downtown at this point, lunches, occasional drinks or coffee. Not much else I can do.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Itasca, IL

#22 Jun 21, 2013
my mom became the "professional volunteer"... she did a bunch of stuf for hte school in grade school. by the time we aged out of that, she was doing some stuff wiht chruch and community groups, less with the high schools. she did girl scouts & boy scouts. she still does some girl scout stuff, and is more into her ladies club in town (i think it started as a club for ladies who lucnh back in the day), going on "field trips" with the special interest groups now. she's had leadership roles wiht the club, nad is the organizer for a ministry at her church.

throw in keeping an eye on gramma/dealing with the estate, traveling to see grandkids and worrying about what kind of cell phone to get, and she has more than a full time job of "stuff"... ;-)

me, i think i'd need something aftetr the last kid gets to first grade, at least part time, to keep some order to the days for me, yet still have the time to be with the kid(s). but thats what i say now... who knows what it would be should i actyually have any.

Since: May 13

Marina, CA

#23 Jun 21, 2013
LW1: I just spent time with a married guy friend last night and his wife is totally secure with it. She's nice and I like her, but the two of us don't hang out without him. The married guy friend and I play music together and sometimes gig at small events. I have a couple of other guy friends that I play music with and occasionally gig with, too, and their wives are reasonably secure. So to answer your question, LW, yes, opposite sex friendships can be maintained outside of a relationship. But this is what you are missing. There is one *particular woman* that irks your girlfriend, despite your honesty and transparency. In other words, there may be a reason that your girlfriend has her antennae up about this *particular* friendship. Find out what that reason is if you want to solve your *particular* issue.

Since: May 13

Marina, CA

#24 Jun 21, 2013
PEllen wrote:
L1 Dunno. I have been on the friend side of that mix. Good friend and colleague from work; we work on common projects with some frequency. His wife doesn't like me. We tried to do couples things (me and husband, he and wife) and sometimes me and a gf with workfriend and his wife (like for opera or concerts). Wife sits there and glowers.
We just keep it downtown at this point, lunches, occasional drinks or coffee. Not much else I can do.
I've been on both sides of the mix. I already posted about the friend side. On the relationship side, one of my ex-bfs had a friend that I didn't like for very good reasons. I knew that she was a backstabber and that she was trying to undermine our relationship. I later found out that she was a druggie, but that wasn't a big surprise. I didn't have a problem with any of his other female friends, but this one was bad news. He couldn't see it and when I tried to tell him, I was a jealous b, of course!

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#25 Jun 21, 2013
L3. Yep. People like you are very fortunate that people like me go to work every day.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#26 Jun 21, 2013
Yes. We instantly size up every woman we meet based upon her sexual attractiveness. Then if were married we are either envious or relieved and if were single were either horny or turtle.

Simple really.
j_m_w wrote:
Is everyone on the same page about L1 and that's why we're not discussing/debating it?
FTR, I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer as Amy seems to imply. I do wonder about the hotness of the friend and whether or not she has an SO. I have several guy friends who I've never thought of it any romantic or sexual way... but are guys different about that stuff?

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#27 Jun 21, 2013
I just always felt we all need to contibute to the betterment of the community, whether it be a garbageman, ditchdigger, attorney, pest control expert, or whatever. You get the idea.
But I like working. I have no regrets either.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#28 Jun 23, 2013
LW3: Wow, lady. You are One Smug Btch. F. U.

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