“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Nov 11, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My daughter "Jenny," her husband, "Bob," and their three dogs live with my husband and me in our home. We live on a fairly busy road. The dogs used to always be leashed when they were taken out. They have now made a habit of letting the dogs out without leashes.

This frightens me. Not only am I concerned about one of the dogs getting hit by a car, but also any legal ramifications if they cause damage to others. I have spoken to my daughter about it, but nothing has changed.

Abby, what can we do to make Jenny and Bob responsible for any damages incurred by their actions? One last note -- one of their dogs was hit by a car and had a long, painful recovery with a very expensive vet bill.-- OUT OF IDEAS IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR OUT OF IDEAS: You have a right to be concerned. Contact your attorney and your insurance broker to find out what the fallout could be for you as homeowners because of your daughter and son-in-law's laziness and carelessness.

Responsible dog owners keep their pets leashed so they won't be hurt by running into traffic or biting a child or an adult they don't recognize as a friend. If your daughter and S.I.L. can't abide by your wishes and behave responsibly, they shouldn't be living under your roof.

P.S. This isn't just about the dogs and liability; it's also about respect for you.

DEAR ABBY: A couple of years ago, my extended family found a fun, all-inclusive solution to the grumbling (and expense) of preparing the holiday meal.
Each family is assigned a portion of the meal they are going to prepare. For fun, it has to be a recipe that has never been tried before so no one can fret that it isn't made like Grandma used to make it. The person holding the party coordinates kitchen time, but to be honest, everybody enjoys helping each other out, and the cooks spend most of their time chatting.

We have tried wonderful variations to the traditional turkey, enjoyed an awesome pie straight from the Renaissance, and learned that we will never again try oyster stuffing. Because the recipes are untried, no one feels bad if the dish isn't perfect, and we have tried things we were surprised we liked.

Most important, we do it together and spend the day laughing, talking and catching up, and no one has to be a slave to the day. Hope this will give other people ideas.-- SCOTT IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SCOTT: So do I, because your family has captured the true spirit of the holiday season, which is too often lost because of the pressure people put on themselves to achieve perfection.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and his sister had a falling out after their parents died and haven't spoken for a few years. My husband is very stubborn and holds grudges.

He is very ill now. I have asked him if he wants to tell his sister about his illness, and he says no. I'm not sure how much longer he has left.

I am thinking about going against his wishes and calling her in the hopes that they can make peace. Your thoughts?-- NOT MUCH TIME LEFT

DEAR NOT MUCH TIME LEFT: Depending upon how deep the rift between them is, I do think you should make a confidential phone call and tell her it might be a good idea to call her brother. If she does, the conversation could be healing for both of them. However, if she chooses to ignore the situation, the choice will have been hers, and no harm will have been done.

DEAR READERS: Today, Veterans Day, I would like to thank not only all of you who have honorably served our country, but also those men and women who are on active duty for your service as well. I salute each and every one of you.-- ABBY

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Nov 11, 2013
1 How do I know that Jenny & Bob are in their early 20's? Keep the dogs and kick the kids out.

2 Sorry, but I know hosts who would freak out if you even tried to add some paprika to deviled eggs. Some peeps enjoy being holiday martyrs.

3 And if you do that and the sister shows up, your husband could die holding a grudge against you.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#3 Nov 11, 2013
LW1: Your house, your rules.

LW2: Not sure why you had to create an all-inclusive solution if “everybody enjoys helping each other out.”

LW3: Your husband has made his wishes clear.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#4 Nov 11, 2013
L1: My relatives in rural Georgia have this mentality, and then they're devastated when their dogs get pancaked by the UPS truck every couple years. I don't get it.

L2: My sister: "Do we want to cook this year?" Me: "Uh, YOU can cook if you want." My dad's kitchen accomodates one person comfortably. If I'm in there, I'm almost instantly pissed off tripping over people and dogs. Not happening.

L3: Respect his wishes.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#6 Nov 11, 2013
L1. Yeah. I know what you mean.
I live on a fairly busy four-lane and I keep my cat inside for that very reason alone.
Yesterday two squirrels got nailed right in front of my house. I saw them crossing the steet back and forth earlier in the day, and I thought, oh no!
I fault the drivers primarily for not paying attention.
I think some people do it deliberately.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#7 Nov 11, 2013
1- Fence in an area.

3- Abby is wrong. Respect your husband's wishes

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#8 Nov 11, 2013
Squirrels are 8pts each.
loose cannon wrote:
L1. Yeah. I know what you mean.
I live on a fairly busy four-lane and I keep my cat inside for that very reason alone.
Yesterday two squirrels got nailed right in front of my house. I saw them crossing the steet back and forth earlier in the day, and I thought, oh no!
I fault the drivers primarily for not paying attention.
I think some people do it deliberately.

“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#10 Nov 11, 2013
RACE wrote:
Squirrels are 8pts each.
<quoted text>
Yeh, I don't aim but if it happens that's one less to dig up my bulbs.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#11 Nov 11, 2013
LW1: I'm with edog. A small fence would solve two problems. It would keep the dogs out of the street and prevent you from continually arguing with your daughter and SIL about this. I'm surprised that you haven't considered this option and also surprised that Abby didn't suggest it. It would probably cost less than that attorney consultation.

LW2: Team Race and Sublime.

LW3: Call your sister-in-law and tell her before it's too late. Life is too short for this bs.

LW4: Thank you, veterans for your service.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#12 Nov 11, 2013
1. Race nailed it.
2.Thanksgiving is at my SIL's every year. She does the turkey and some stuff with marshmallows and Campbells cream of mushroom soup and the rest of the family brings assigned dishes. My sister and I pretty much do what we want within the category assigned.

My SIL and her sister don't get along. This year the sister and her family will not attend. The group is smaller and should be more congenial.

My assignment is pumpkin pie, something with sweet potatoes and a fresh cooked vegetable. I am doing a trial run with a cranberry relish that has kiwis in it.

3.This is very much like my MIL and her brother. They never reconciled before his death. My husband was " allowed" to attend his uncles funeral (my husband was in his late 50's at the time) and was grilled by his mother afterwards. I called them when I was in CA not long after we got married as a social call. I was old I was disloyal and to keep my nose out of other people's business.

Insofar as I ever found out, the disagreement was about the brother taking stuff from their recently deceased mother's house that my MIL wanted. Petty Petty and obviously an indicator for something much deeper.

To LW. Leave it be. Your obligation is to your husband and allowing him to be comfortable in the time he has left. Invite the sister to his funeral.He won't know.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#13 Nov 11, 2013
L1: I'm with edog. If you want them to continue to stay with you, fence in an area.

L2: Different strokes and all that. Whatever works for the majority, go with that.

L3: It's his wishes and you should respect them. That said, I'd call the sister and take the fall out if there's any, depending upon what the fight was about. Something stupid and silly, I'd call. if the sister killed his pet or something else really evil, I wouldn't then.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#14 Nov 11, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
LW1: I'm with edog. A small fence would solve two problems. It would keep the dogs out of the street and prevent you from continually arguing with your daughter and SIL about this. I'm surprised that you haven't considered this option and also surprised that Abby didn't suggest it. It would probably cost less than that attorney consultation.
They probably have considered the option, but do you think the two freeloaders that actually own the pets are going to pay for it?

Materials and labor for fences aren't cheap and for two dogs, unless you want any vegetation that is fenced in to be brown and dead from pee, you can't just have a small area fenced in. Not to mention dogs need exercise and some space to run around.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Des Plaines, IL

#15 Nov 11, 2013
PEllen wrote:
1. Race nailed it.
2.Thanksgiving is at my SIL's every year. She does the turkey and some stuff with marshmallows and Campbells cream of mushroom soup and the rest of the family brings assigned dishes. My sister and I pretty much do what we want within the category assigned.
My SIL and her sister don't get along. This year the sister and her family will not attend. The group is smaller and should be more congenial.
My assignment is pumpkin pie, something with sweet potatoes and a fresh cooked vegetable. I am doing a trial run with a cranberry relish that has kiwis in it.
3.This is very much like my MIL and her brother. They never reconciled before his death. My husband was " allowed" to attend his uncles funeral (my husband was in his late 50's at the time) and was grilled by his mother afterwards. I called them when I was in CA not long after we got married as a social call. I was old I was disloyal and to keep my nose out of other people's business.
Insofar as I ever found out, the disagreement was about the brother taking stuff from their recently deceased mother's house that my MIL wanted. Petty Petty and obviously an indicator for something much deeper.
To LW. Leave it be. Your obligation is to your husband and allowing him to be comfortable in the time he has left. Invite the sister to his funeral.He won't know.
LY, i cut up the sweet potatoes into small chunks, tossed with butter, ground clove, cinnamon, and maybe some ground ginger (don't remember exactly). spread on a cookie sheet, maybe 1/2 hour at 350^. worked well. Add some maple something (syrup or maple sugar) at the end if you want; i added it at the start and it burned (duh, i said afterwards).
Blunt Advice

Suffern, NY

#16 Nov 11, 2013
1. Team Race. Get those kids out before they start breeding, or you will have a hotel in addition to a zoo.
2. Holidays with big family stuff, don't relate.
3. You or someone in your husbands family speak to him about sister first before springing her on him.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#17 Nov 11, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
They probably have considered the option, but do you think the two freeloaders that actually own the pets are going to pay for it?
Materials and labor for fences aren't cheap and for two dogs, unless you want any vegetation that is fenced in to be brown and dead from pee, you can't just have a small area fenced in. Not to mention dogs need exercise and some space to run around.
No, I seriously doubt if the freeloaders would pay for it. I'm visualizing medium-sized dogs, a fair sized city lot, and a cute picket fence. The fence would also keep other dogs off the front lawn. I paid about $800 to put a 6' fence across the back yard of my old house and that was just one side, so yeah, this isn't a cheap solution.

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