As everyone knows, next week is New Year's Eve, and Chicago obviously has a lot of festivities to ring in the New Year. But what people need to know is that Chicago's New Year's Eve festivals are totally inappropriate, and can even be deadly, for single people. Especially with the recent influx of ladies from the suburbs that have chosen to date/marry gang bangers, flash mobsters, and other hardened criminals. Many of those kinds of ladies will be at those festivities, and their boyfriends/fiancees/husbands are very likely to have entire cults just waiting to take down any single guy who approaches the woman. Also, as it is the woman's job to ask the guy to hang out with her on New Year's Eve and Illinois women don't like doing that, it is totally unlikely that any single guy will get his hug at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. In fact, with numerous beautiful ladies from the suburbs now dating/marrying gang bangers and hardened criminals in the city, any single guy who goes to one of these festivities on New Year's Eve is just as likely to get shot, pounced on, beaten, and left a bleeding wreck on the pavement as beating a hornet's nest with a baseball bat is likely to send hornets swarming and buzzing like crazy.

Singles looking to party on New Year's Eve and hug someone at the stroke of midnight will need to head to another metro area to ring in the new year. New York City, Miami, New Orleans, Houston, Wichita, Dallas, Los Angeles, and Atlanta are excellent examples of metro areas that have much better quality people than Chicagoland has.