“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 May 13, 2014
DEAR ABBY: As a licensed psychotherapist who has worked with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse over the past 25 years, I would like to respond to "Stunned in the City" (Jan. 22), who found her co-worker's name on a website for registered sex offenders.

Registered sex offenders have been convicted and incarcerated for their crimes as well as serving a probationary period upon release. However, unlike other criminal offenses, they never finish "serving their time" -- both in the areas of WHERE they can live and HOW they can live (employment). They continue to serve a sentence that can never be completed and are stigmatized for the rest of their lives.

The reason for this is because of a "one-size-fits-all" approach to punishment, be it a one-time offender or a serial rapist. Most sexual abusers are either members of the family or a close family friend, and most are never reported. Only a small percentage of registered offenders pose a danger and should be under surveillance. The others should be allowed a second chance to continue with their lives without undue harassment.

If "Stunned" reports her co-worker to her employer, she will jeopardize his livelihood, which he needs to redeem his life.-- ALREADY PAID HIS DEBT

DEAR A.P.H.D.: I received mail from mental health professionals, employers, parents and people who are on the sex offenders' list regarding "Stunned's" letter. All of them stated that the range of crimes that can add someone to the list is very broad. The list is no more than a STARTING point for people to begin their own research into public records before telling an employer or another person. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: For more than 20 years I have employed a man who is a convicted sex offender. He paid his debt to society for having sex with a minor when he was in his 20s. It will haunt him for the rest of his life.

The pictures you see online are recent because the authorities require updated photos yearly. I empathize with him because I dated a 15-year-old when I was 19 -- with her parents' approval -- but today it could mean jail time and a ruined life.

There is no demarcation between being dumb and being truly criminal, so everyone is labeled the same. I suggest that we all stay aware of those labeled sexual predators, but approach the sexual offenders case-by-case.-- JUSTICE FOR ALL

DEAR ABBY: Inclusion on the registry can be the result of something that would not pose a danger to anyone -- urinating in public, or having sex with a younger girlfriend when you yourself are a minor.

If you see a neighbor or co-worker on such a list, no one should jump to conclusions before doing more research about the actual offense. It may be nothing to worry about at all, or it might be something to react to. But you won't know until you find out more than a simple listing.-- REBECCA IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR ABBY: After breakfast on Saturdays, my husband and I settle in, listen to music and read the newspaper. It's our Saturday morning ritual.

As part of it, when I get to your column, I read it out loud to my husband. We enjoy the letters and your advice. When I finish, my husband almost invariably says, "You know, those letters are made up."

Abby, I think they are real, albeit edited, but genuine. He thinks they're fake. Who's right?-- TRUE BELIEVER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TRUE BELIEVER: You are. I could never make up anything as interesting as the mail that arrives from my readers day after day.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#2 May 13, 2014
People are not on a sex offender registry because a 17 yr old had sex with his 16 yr old girlfriend or for public urination

3- One of your letters was proven fake just last week. And there have been several others

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#3 May 13, 2014
L1. Sorry Charlie, but people are branded for life by the law all the time for all sorts of different offenses.
The same may be said about petty drug crimes which preclude them from a wide variety of occupations for life for which they have also already paid their debt to society and have since a long time ago been rehabilitated.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 May 13, 2014
1 If everyone carried weapons, there would be no need for this registry. Personally, I think its a waste, and does more harm than good.

2 Fake letter.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#5 May 13, 2014
LW1: Right here is proof that this registry is not working right. If someone is one it, we should have absolutely no doubt about what bad things they've done to get on it because the list should be short and only include the most heinous acts.

LW2: Oh to be a fly on the wall at your home...
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#6 May 13, 2014
RACE wrote:
1 If everyone carried weapons, there would be no need for this registry. Personally, I think its a waste, and does more harm than good.
1: Not entirely so. If there was no registry and your daughter or son was molested by the guy next door, you may shoot him dead but your child is already hurt. Now I suppose you mean no one would dare molest your child if he knew you carried a gun. However, these guys have ways to make sure your child would not tell you or anyone what happened (even if there are numerous incidents over the years). And yes, I know from personal experience. The thing ALL parents need to keep in mind is that while many of the people on the registry pose no danger at all to their child, their nearest and dearest friend or relative may very well be the one who is the worst danger of all.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#7 May 13, 2014
L1: If you do have a neighbor or someone you deal with is on the list, I'd check to see why that person is on the list. They do need to narrow and better define who should report, though.

L2: Post on Topix and rehash the letters each day.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#8 May 13, 2014
And now he is kaputts. No registry needed. And really, everyone's definition of what a sexual predator is fray's when we reach the edges.

And edog is wrong. Urinating in public in the presence of children can get you bagged as a perv.

I believe castration is a much more logical option. We nuder dogs to inhibit the same actions that we want to inhibit in molesters.
Pippa wrote:
<quoted text>
1: Not entirely so. If there was no registry and your daughter or son was molested by the guy next door, you may shoot him dead but your child is already hurt.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#9 May 13, 2014
RACE wrote:
And now he is kaputts. No registry needed. And really, everyone's definition of what a sexual predator is fray's when we reach the edges.
And edog is wrong. Urinating in public in the presence of children can get you bagged as a perv.
I believe castration is a much more logical option. We nuder dogs to inhibit the same actions that we want to inhibit in molesters.
<quoted text>
Occasionally you read about guys who try to get their sentence reduced by volunteering for chemical castration. I don't recall anyone actually getting out early with that tactic though.
Kuuipo

Elizabethtown, KY

#10 May 13, 2014
LW1: I could understand the concern if the person was a neighbor, but a co-worker? His past would not concern me and I would not report him to my supervisor.

LW2: Abby may not make up the letters, but there's no guarantee that the LW's aren't engaging in fiction writing.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#11 May 13, 2014
RACE wrote:
And edog is wrong. Urinating in public in the presence of children can get you bagged as a perv.
I never said otherwise. What I said was, those aren't the people on sex offender registries.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#12 May 13, 2014
Right, like I said, you're wrong
you're
you're
you're
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I never said otherwise. What I said was, those aren't the people on sex offender registries.

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