“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Oct 2, 2013
DEAR AMY: My wife usually takes Ambien to help her fall asleep.
The problem is that she frequently takes the drug before she goes up to bed, either in the family room while watching TV or in the kitchen. The Ambien kicks in then, of course, and she falls asleep on the couch and stumbles up to bed several hours later.
I’ve asked her to keep the medicine by the bed, but to no avail. The other night after she took it, she ended up in the kitchen eating ice cream out of the carton. She frequently goes on these eating binges after taking Ambien. Is this a normal side effect?
I’m sorry to say, I lost my temper, took the ice cream away and put it back in the freezer. I said she was acting irresponsibly. Needless to say, she was not happy. What do you think?
I really am worried for her safety (going up the stairs), but she doesn’t want to hear it.-- Worried Husband
DEAR WORRIED: Ambien has potential side effects that have been fairly well publicized. Even a layperson like me (or you or your wife) can do some research to see that this drug, which is in a class of drugs called “sedative-hypnotics,” can cause people to get up in the middle of the night and eat, cook, talk on the phone and even -- in rare and extreme cases -- get in the car and drive while impaired.
One of the less-serious but still significant side effects is the weight gain that people report because of “sleep-eating.” This drug can also make people feel depressed, anxious, hung over, drowsy or dizzy during the day.
From what you report, your wife is not taking this powerful drug according to the directions. Because it causes drowsiness so rapidly, it should be taken right before she goes to sleep. It is also intended for short-term use. Your wife should recognize the potentially serious side effects of Ambien and speak to the prescribing physician.
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Web site “Although short-term sleeping medications can help patients, it is exceedingly important that they be carefully used and monitored.” administrator, Pamela S. Hyde adds,“Physicians and patients need to be aware of the potential adverse reactions associated with any medication, and work closely together to prevent or quickly address any problems that may arise.”
DEAR AMY: Two years ago my husband died in a car accident. His best friend and I recently developed feelings for each other. After quietly dating for a couple of months (without any of our friends knowing), we have decided it is time to let others know that we are dating. We are aware that not everyone will be comfortable with our decision.
What is the best way to tell our friends and family that we are dating? A grand announcement at a dinner party is over the top, yet I hesitate to let the word get out on its own because I want people to hear the news from us, not from a third party.-- In a Match
DEAR MATCH: My sympathies for your loss -- and congratulations that you are now in a happy relationship. You and your guy should notify people personally, starting with your closest kin (if you have children, tell them first) and moving out in concentric circles to tell friends, associates, etc.
You should each tell your contacts individually (not as a couple), understanding that your news may not be met with universal delight. Please be patient and understanding regarding possible negative reactions; some people may need time to adjust, but they will.
DEAR AMY: Your advice to “Acting Foolish” about a stepfather’s role at the daughter’s wedding was spot-on. When this situation occurred with our daughter, my dear husband quietly paid for part of the wedding (my ex paid for nothing) and supported my daughter’s choices. He was definitely my hero.
The bright side? When the bride was told to dance with her dad, she danced half the dance with her biological dad and then brought my husband out on the dance floor. He cried and everyone applauded!-- Gracie
DEAR GRACIE: Beautiful. Thank you.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Oct 2, 2013
L1 Meh
L2 It has been 2 years. The reaction will be less disapproving than you expect.... unless there wer rumors about you and husband's best friend before he died.
L3 I am getting really tired of letters where the measure of a bio dad's involvement and worth are measured by the size of his check. Good for your daughter that she valued the role both men had in her life and didn't check the cash register first.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Oct 2, 2013
1 PSA dont care. Read the friggin label.

2 What? You did this without asking your kids first? Sublime is soooooo going to tear you a new one.

3 Yeah, stepdad paid all that coin and got half a friggin dance, and dead beat dad is the chump?

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#4 Oct 2, 2013
LW1: EVeryone pretty much knows that Ambien can cause you to get up and eat and do all kinds of things without remembering. There was even a SImpson's episode about it (very funny, and they referred to it as "Napien"). I used to take it and then I'd feel hung over and otu of it the whole next day, so I stopped. Plus, a couple strange things did happen. Not worth it. Sonata is better. LW needs to get wife to talk to the doctor about the other options out there. There are so many now.

LW2: I don't think people will care that much unless they suspect it was going on before hubby died. Did LW and best friend cut the hubby's brakes???

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Oct 2, 2013
There is a difference between "Could not afford...." and "Didn't..."
And there is also a huge difference between paying for 1/2 a wedding dress and paying for 1/2 a wedding, and I think in the case of the latter, the stepdad should get more recognition than the sloppy seconds of a dance.


[QUOTE who="PEllen"
L3 I am getting really tired of letters where the measure of a bio dad's involvement and worth are measured by the size of his check. Good for your daughter that she valued the role both men had in her life and didn't check the cash register first.[/QUOTE]

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Brooklyn, NY

#6 Oct 2, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
. Did LW and best friend cut the hubby's brakes???
Kinda makes you wonder!

While their relationship may a bit inappropriate, they're both adults, just show up at family functions arm in arm. No need to take people aside or announce anything to everyone.

For l1- Yeah, heard too many horror stories about pretty much all prescription sleeping pills, that's why I refuse to take them despite my raging insomnia. That's what a little bit of beer and weed is for!

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#7 Oct 2, 2013
L1: She's not very bright or she just doesn't care. Maybe both.

L2: What Pellen said. No one will care.

L3: I don't think it's so much the money but the fact he didn't bring it up or anything tells me he probably been more supportive of her throughout her life.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Oct 2, 2013
LW1: OH MY GOD!!!! She ate ice cream out of the container. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!!!!!

LW2: You are making way too big a deal about this. Just show up at Thanksgiving together and stop thinking that life revolves around you.

LW3: I think I'm going to puke.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#9 Oct 2, 2013
LW1 would not be out of line in letting his wife know he'd be more comfortable if they got another doctor to look at her situation.

LW2 will probably hear "It's about time" (if anything) when she and her man say they are dating.

Reading LW3 would work better than those sleeping pills described in LW1. And without side effects.

:)
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#10 Oct 2, 2013
LW1: It's hard for me to relate to this one because I don't have trouble falling asleep. Also, I'm not a big fan of taking prescriptions meds regularly for problems that can be solved more organically (perhaps with a large glass of red wine and a nice hot bath before bedtime.) That said, LW, you will have better luck getting your point across if you speak to your wife with loving concern rather than anger.

LW2: Team squishymama. A high-school acquaintance of mine lost her husband in an accident and later married his brother. People will adjust.

LW3: Team PEllen.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Oct 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Kinda makes you wonder!
While their relationship may a bit inappropriate, they're both adults, just show up at family functions arm in arm. No need to take people aside or announce anything to everyone.
Assuming they were not fooling around before husband died, why is it inappropriate?

If I was going to remarry, there is a lot to be said for an old friend who has seen me through some real tough times, like losing my husband.

What gives you qualms about this?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#12 Oct 2, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Assuming they were not fooling around before husband died, why is it inappropriate?
If I was going to remarry, there is a lot to be said for an old friend who has seen me through some real tough times, like losing my husband.
What gives you qualms about this?
It's like dating your cousin. Some people are just off limits. You've got some dude moving in on his friend's widow not two years into his death. She's vulnerable and lonely. That's just a move that doesn't sit well with me.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#13 Oct 2, 2013
LW2: Everyone already knows. Get over yourself.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#14 Oct 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
It's like dating your cousin. Some people are just off limits. You've got some dude moving in on his friend's widow not two years into his death. She's vulnerable and lonely. That's just a move that doesn't sit well with me.
Two months, maybe.
Two years , especially with a gap between the death and starting dating, not so much

FWIW in August 1969, on the weekend of Woodstock, my then fiance stood up in his BF wedding. BF married his 2nd cousin. They have been married 44 years and all their kids are healthy smart and have flesh colored necks.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Brooklyn, NY

#15 Oct 2, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Two months, maybe.
Two years , especially with a gap between the death and starting dating, not so much
FWIW in August 1969, on the weekend of Woodstock, my then fiance stood up in his BF wedding. BF married his 2nd cousin. They have been married 44 years and all their kids are healthy smart and have flesh colored necks.
Good for them. The rest of us call that incest.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#16 Oct 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for them. The rest of us call that incest.
That's a second cousin edog. That's not incest.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Brooklyn, NY

#17 Oct 2, 2013
Toj wrote:
That's a second cousin edog. That's not incest.
Neither is having sex with your sister. Would you listen to yourself?

I swear to God, you people.....

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#18 Oct 2, 2013
he's just pizzed that he cant marry his twin
pde

Gilberts, IL

#19 Oct 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for them. The rest of us call that incest.
2nd cousins aren't incest.

Hey, I and my husband discovered AT OUR WEDDING (after dating for six years) that half his older relatives knew half my older relatives because they'd all grown up in the same Chicago neighborhood together.(In the 1940s.) His relatives then moved en-masse to where god lost his socks in Indiana and mine stayed in Chicago.

As far as we know, we're not related. But we're both out of similar Irish heritage whose ancestors immigrated around the same time from the same general region in Ireland and came to the same general location in the US. I wouldn't be surprised if we traced it back a few generations and found we were cousins in some degree removed. I just don't care that much about genealogical research.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#20 Oct 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for them. The rest of us call that incest.
If I recall correctly, the Illinois definition of a prohibited marriage specified brothers and sisters, uncles and nieces and aunts and nephews. First cousins are only forbidden to marry if the wife is under 50 which is presumed to be the end of child bearing.After the woman turns 50, first cousins can marry

You often quote scripture but I don't know your denomination. In Catholic you can petition for a waive of prohibition by consanguinity.
There was a rather famous case where that was involved. You might remember that Katherine of Aragon could not marry her dead husband's brother, Henry without a waiver from the Pope... The waiver was granted eventually and then later attacked when Henry ante to marry Anne.

I am not aware of any prohibitions in Illinois forbidding a guy from marrying his dead brother's wife.That would be skeevy. But best friend- no, I have no problems there.

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