First Prev
of 3
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Aug 30, 2012
DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years younger than my husband. I am also attractive and sexually available to him. We have a great relationship except for one thing. I can't trust him! I have caught him emailing women he met at work, inviting our neighbor to go with him on a motorcycle ride and heard many stories about him asking women on dates.

But the worst was when I found out he was calling a woman every day and going to her house when I was at work. When I confronted him he said nothing sexual happened, but he moved out for a month.

Why does he feel he has to have other women? I really believe some men are cheaters no matter what. Oh, yeah -- I'm his fourth wife. He cheated on the others, too. How can I make him want only me?-- CHEATED ON IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CHEATED ON: You can't. It may give you some comfort to know that the behavior you have described has nothing to do with you or your level of desirability. It is compulsive. You were naive to think if you married a serial cheater that he would be a faithful husband to you. The only person who can "make" him think differently is him, and before that can happen, he will have to realize he needs to change.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a single mother for seven years raising a wonderful 16-year-old daughter. She is an honor student, works part-time and is very mature. I am dating an older man, "Gary," who has grown children.

Gary feels my daughter is old enough to spend a couple of nights a week alone in our house, while I spend the night with him. His house is 14 miles away. I live in a safe neighborhood, but the idea of leaving her alone makes me very uncomfortable. This is causing a rift between Gary and me. He feels I am having a hard time "cutting the apron strings." Is he right?-- SINGLE MOM IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SINGLE MOM: Inform Gary you are not ready to "cut the apron strings" because you don't want your relationship with your daughter to turn to shreds. Although you say your daughter is mature, you are responsible for her safety and welfare until she turns 18. And that includes setting a good example for her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm expecting my first child in three months and I am definitely showing. I work in a retirement community, and every day one or more of the residents makes it his or her business to tell me I'm "just getting sooo big!" and then asks if I'm sure "there aren't twins in there." I find their comments rude.

What's the appropriate response to people who make unwelcome comments about my size? I want to tell them that stating the obvious is unnecessary. They wouldn't comment about someone's size who wasn't pregnant, so why is it acceptable in my case?-- EXPECTING IN MARYLAND

DEAR EXPECTING: Although you find the comments unwelcome, I'm sure the residents are only trying to be friendly and join in the excitement of another life coming into the world. They are not meant to be insulting and you shouldn't regard them in that light. All you should do is smile, pat your tummy and say, "Not according to the sonogram!" and move on.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Aug 30, 2012
1- Stacy Peterson?

2- If you can't leave a 16 year old home alone for a night, you either don't trust her as much as you think, or you're an extreme helicopter.

3- Get over it, lady.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Aug 30, 2012
LW1: "Why does he feel he has to have other women?" Why do you think someone who has neer met your husband OR you would have an answer?

" I really believe some men are cheaters no matter what. Oh, yeah -- I'm his fourth wife. He cheated on the others, too. How can I make him want only me?"
So you knew how he was going in and thought you had the magic poon to change him. Idiot.

LW2:While I do think she is old enough to spend the night alone, I think it is ridiculous to ask that of you. Especially a couple times a week. I could see if there was something special planned, like maybe you had a dinner and concert planned ON A WEEKEND and would be getting home late anyway, just spend the night at his place. But I can't get on board with leaving leaving the kid alone regularly cause he wants alone time. F that.

LW3: "I find their comments rude."
Lighten up, chubby. They are being friendly.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Aug 30, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
2- If you can't leave a 16 year old home alone for a night, you either don't trust her as much as you think, or you're an extreme helicopter.
But its not for a night. He wants this a couple times a week. That's ridiculous.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Aug 30, 2012
L1: Your husband is a cheater. Accept it, or move on.

L2: I think Gary is a jerk or clueless for suggesting this. Why can't Gary spend the night at your place?

L3: "You're getting SOOOOO old!" "I may be big but I will have this baby and be small again, and you'll still have liver spots and a saggy neck!"

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#6 Aug 30, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2:While I do think she is old enough to spend the night alone, I think it is ridiculous to ask that of you. Especially a couple times a week. I could see if there was something special planned, like maybe you had a dinner and concert planned ON A WEEKEND and would be getting home late anyway, just spend the night at his place. But I can't get on board with leaving leaving the kid alone regularly cause he wants alone time. F that.
ITA.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Aug 30, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Why can't Gary spend the night at your place?
Cause he's afraid of running into the daughter in the hallway walking to the bathroom after he just got done giving mom the high hard one.
dahgts

Chicago, IL

#8 Aug 30, 2012
L3: Abby's retort example is ridiculous. I can just picture these old folks with their hand to ear and saying to each other..." what did she say? Sonic boom?"
L3 should just say yes, sure am, and move on.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#9 Aug 30, 2012
1 Cheat on him, sooner or later it will be a thrill to sleep with each other again.

2 Gary need to realize you're a package deal.

3 Oh, lighten up fatty.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#10 Aug 30, 2012
L1: Do you hear that? It's the sound of me smashing my forehead into my desk.

L2: What Tonka said.

L3: Nod and smile. You KNOW they don't mean anything rude or unkind, right?

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#11 Aug 30, 2012
L1: Dude needs to seriously grow up, and the LW needs a good lawyer.

L2: The BF is a demanding a-hole. 2 nights a week is not a reasonable demand for a person with a 16 year old.

L3: Deal with it...

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#12 Aug 30, 2012
LW1 - LW knew what he was when she married him after cheating with him on his third wife. Reminds me of my mother who complained that my stepfather played too much golf. I asked her if he played golf before she married him. That was the end of that complaint.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#13 Aug 30, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
1- Stacy Peterson?
Ha!
Cass

Upland, CA

#14 Aug 30, 2012
LW1 - You are his fourth wife and he cheated on the other three too? With you on the third one, I have no doubt. Sigh.

LW2 - You can leave your mature daughter overnight once in a while, but if you start doing it a couple of times every week, she may start feeling abandoned by you. Also, check the laws in your state. In some states, there are legal ages before which you cannot leave kids alone overnight.

LW3 - Every time I walk with an empty stroller after dropping my son off at day care, the elderly folks at the senior center I pass on the way ask me, "Have you lost somebody?" They think it's a hilarious joke, but I've heard it at least twice a week for the past two years. It was the same when my daughter was a baby and toddler and we lived in a different city, so overall, I've heard the "joke" about 300 times, if not more, since I've had kids. I just smile and walk on. It's annoying, but there is nothing I can do to stop them. Get used to it. Deal with it. Tune it out.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#15 Aug 30, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L2: Why can't Gary spend the night at your place?
Aren't you the one who advocates boyfriends/girlfriends shouldn't do sleep overs with kids present.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#16 Aug 30, 2012
L1. You have gotten yourself into this ugly mess, Missy.
And now you have to get yourself out.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#17 Aug 30, 2012
LW1: Can you really be that dumb? He did this to THREE wives before you - and I am sure you were the "other woman" with the third. These things don't usually turn our well.

LW2: Totally agree with Tonka.

LW3: Hypersensitive much? You are pregnant - you ARE getting bigger and you will CONTINUE to get bigger for another 6 months. Deal with it. Are you so vain that you'd actually get upset over this? Lighten up, Francis.
animaniactoo

New York, NY

#18 Aug 30, 2012
"The only person who can "make" him think differently is him, and before that can happen, he will have to realize he needs to change."

Or change as in stop promising or agreeing to monogamy when he's not a monogamy kind of guy.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#19 Aug 30, 2012
L1: Edog -- funny, but it's not Stacey Petersen it's Christina Raines (the girlfriend after he killed Stacey).

L2: I'm with Red. Why doesn't he stay at your place when your daughter is spending the night over a friend's house?

L3: This prego woman is wacko. You ARE getting a bigger tummy area and most people find that comforting when they're pregnant b/c it means the baby is growing. You are too vain to have a baby. Just wait until you see what that kid does to you after 9 months of carrying him!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#20 Aug 30, 2012
Toj wrote:
L2: I'm with Red. Why doesn't he stay at your place when your daughter is spending the night over a friend's house?
I think you're missing the issue. I don't think its about venue, but about alone time. If the daughter is sleeping over at a friends house, I think he'd be fine with going to LW's house.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 3
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 9 min johnplustwomore 1,155,505
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 27 min cheluzal 98,870
Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 59 min JOEL 71,186
Chicago Pizza Blows 1 hr joey 2
Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 1 hr KiMare 51,279
AP Exclusive: Union members appointed after $10... (Mar '08) 2 hr IUEC 7,564
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 3 hr OzRitz 49,304
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 6 hr Jacques Ottawa 182,017
Chicago Dating
Find my Match
More from around the web

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 4:21 am PST

Bleacher Report 4:21AM
Fantasy Football 2015 Awards
Bleacher Report 6:00 AM
What Can Bears Do to Get Back into Playoff Hunt?
NBC Sports11:49 AM
Reggie Wayne needs offseason triceps surgery
NBC Sports 1:29 PM
Colts say they will be all business despite nothing to gain - NBC Sports
NBC Sports 1:40 PM
Cutler realizes Bears could be in for changes - NBC Sports