“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Aug 7, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Pressured" (April 23), the wife whose husband keeps track of how often he and his wife have had sex and his determination to have sex 100 times per year. She was wondering if this is normal.

I can tell her that my former husband thought we should have sex five times a week. He kept a calendar of when we had sex that also included who initiated it. I explained to him that I was more than willing to have frequent sex, but that he also had to be an attentive, caring husband.

Our marriage counselor believed he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and was probably a diagnosable narcissist. Surprise, surprise! He pronounced our marriage counselor to be inept and divorced me.

"Pressured" says she has a good marriage, so I assume that means she has a caring husband. I would advise her to do her best to enthusiastically and creatively meet his needs. Most men express love and feel loved by having sex. Scorekeeping could be his ineffective attempt at communicating his need to feel loved.-- THE EX-MRS.

DEAR EX: Thank you for writing. The saying "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" aptly applies to the responses I received from my readers about that letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Most guys may keep track of how often they're having sex, although more likely it's how long since the last time, or maybe how many times a week. But this guy is an idiot for letting his wife know that he's tracking it, let alone that he has a goal of 100 times. Hopefully he's not procreating, just "recreating" in bed.

Abby, I thought you knew men better. "Fifty great versus 100 'so-so' times" -- are you kidding? Surely you know the saying, "Even bad sex is pretty good sex." We guys will take it any way, any how, anytime. For us, it's all good, all the time.-- DAN IN IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, my husband also likes to keep a running tab of our sexual frequency. It galls me.

I saw a movie years ago in which a couple saw the same therapist and one tells the counselor, "We never have sex! We only do it three times a week." While the other says, "We have sex all the time! We do it three times a week!"

We must consider the other person and his or her needs, whether they're emotional, sexual or physical. Emotional and physical are not necessarily the same.-- DENISE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: For most men, sex is just a little less important than breathing and eating as essential to our existence. Men are getting fed up with being deprived. I have often considered extramarital sexual pursuits, and I feel I'd be justified in doing so. I know I'm not alone.

Men have needs, and should have a right to share intimate relations with their wives. If not, we should be given the green light to fulfill our needs elsewhere.-- JAMES IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Pressured." I have been married 20 years and have five children. I figure my husband and I are intimate an average of 260 times a year. Needless to say, my husband greets me with a smile every day, and our marriage is rock solid.-- KNOWS THE SECRET IN UTAH

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Aug 7, 2014
I'm impressed, abby printed men disagreeing with her, and no snark.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Aug 7, 2014
Keeping a calendar of sex is just weird.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 Aug 7, 2014
I agree. Now, the video's.....
Cass wrote:
Keeping a calendar of sex is just weird.

Since: Oct 09

United States

#5 Aug 7, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Pressured" (April 23), the wife whose husband keeps track of how often he and his wife have had sex and his determination to have sex 100 times per year. She was wondering if this is normal.
I can tell her that my former husband thought we should have sex five times a week. He kept a calendar of when we had sex that also included who initiated it. I explained to him that I was more than willing to have frequent sex, but that he also had to be an attentive, caring husband.
Our marriage counselor believed he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and was probably a diagnosable narcissist. Surprise, surprise! He pronounced our marriage counselor to be inept and divorced me.
"Pressured" says she has a good marriage, so I assume that means she has a caring husband. I would advise her to do her best to enthusiastically and creatively meet his needs. Most men express love and feel loved by having sex. Scorekeeping could be his ineffective attempt at communicating his need to feel loved.-- THE EX-MRS.
DEAR EX: Thank you for writing. The saying "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" aptly applies to the responses I received from my readers about that letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Most guys may keep track of how often they're having sex, although more likely it's how long since the last time, or maybe how many times a week. But this guy is an idiot for letting his wife know that he's tracking it, let alone that he has a goal of 100 times. Hopefully he's not procreating, just "recreating" in bed.
Abby, I thought you knew men better. "Fifty great versus 100 'so-so' times" -- are you kidding? Surely you know the saying, "Even bad sex is pretty good sex." We guys will take it any way, any how, anytime. For us, it's all good, all the time.-- DAN IN IRVING, TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, my husband also likes to keep a running tab of our sexual frequency. It galls me.
I saw a movie years ago in which a couple saw the same therapist and one tells the counselor, "We never have sex! We only do it three times a week." While the other says, "We have sex all the time! We do it three times a week!"
We must consider the other person and his or her needs, whether they're emotional, sexual or physical. Emotional and physical are not necessarily the same.-- DENISE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR ABBY: For most men, sex is just a little less important than breathing and eating as essential to our existence. Men are getting fed up with being deprived. I have often considered extramarital sexual pursuits, and I feel I'd be justified in doing so. I know I'm not alone.
Men have needs, and should have a right to share intimate relations with their wives. If not, we should be given the green light to fulfill our needs elsewhere.-- JAMES IN KENTUCKY
DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Pressured." I have been married 20 years and have five children. I figure my husband and I are intimate an average of 260 times a year. Needless to say, my husband greets me with a smile every day, and our marriage is rock solid.-- KNOWS THE SECRET IN UTAH
THIS crap yet AGAIN? How about considering the fact that there are plenty of wives who are, or feel, deprived and who aren't getting any or not nearly enough and that wives can also be incredibly frustrated? Especially if their husbands won't address their ED issues? It's not just men who like, want and need sex with their partners and I'm tired of that stereotype. And don't ask me how I know this, I'm too grumpy from yet another day and night of deprivation and frustration. And the hubby better not, again, ask me just why I'm so freaking grumpy.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#6 Aug 7, 2014
Sounds like someone need a good lay...
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
THIS crap yet AGAIN? How about considering the fact that there are plenty of wives who are, or feel, deprived and who aren't getting any or not nearly enough and that wives can also be incredibly frustrated? Especially if their husbands won't address their ED issues? It's not just men who like, want and need sex with their partners and I'm tired of that stereotype. And don't ask me how I know this, I'm too grumpy from yet another day and night of deprivation and frustration. And the hubby better not, again, ask me just why I'm so freaking grumpy.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#7 Aug 7, 2014
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
THIS crap yet AGAIN? How about considering the fact that there are plenty of wives who are, or feel, deprived and who aren't getting any or not nearly enough and that wives can also be incredibly frustrated? Especially if their husbands won't address their ED issues? It's not just men who like, want and need sex with their partners and I'm tired of that stereotype. And don't ask me how I know this, I'm too grumpy from yet another day and night of deprivation and frustration. And the hubby better not, again, ask me just why I'm so freaking grumpy.
Need me to step up to the plate, darlin?
Judge Janie

Eagle Butte, SD

#8 Aug 7, 2014
RACE wrote:
Sounds like someone need a good lay...
<quoted text>
Well, you know that old Lays ad slogan, "no one can have just one?" A good lay would be very nice, indeed, but just one for the next however-many years wouldn't cut it. Although, at this rate, more than once a month would sure be nice.

And I just had to come across yet another article on this, on Huffington Post of all places, from a woman writer telling women why they should have sex with the hubby every single night, why they shouldn't let being tired, or overwhelmed, or whatever other reason, get in their way because it will actually help with all of that. Well, duh! Totally left out of the equation is the fact that there are HUSBANDS who do not, or cannot, or will not, do that, it is NOT just up to the wife and it isn't always the wife who's keeping the sheet music for the mattress dances down low. And I know from talking to a lot of other women that I am definitely not alone. GAH.
Judge Janie

Eagle Butte, SD

#9 Aug 7, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Need me to step up to the plate, darlin?
Heh, you'd then be calling me a wh ore, though, admit it! lol Besides, I'm way too old, and too much of a feminist, for you.

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