abby 6-15-13

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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#1
Jun 15, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We have now decided to take our relationship to the next level by living together.

When I brought up the idea to my mother a few months ago, she was against it. She said if I do this it will change my relationship with her. My boyfriend and I are college graduates, have good jobs and are self-supporting. If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

I am an only child and I don't want to hurt my mother or have our relationship change, but I want to be able to live my own life. I would like her support, but don't know how to tell her what we have decided or if it would be worth breaking the special bond between my mother and me.-- ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ONLY CHILD: Stop beating around the bush and tell your mother what your plans are. At 25, you are old enough -- and this relationship has gone on long enough -- that moving in together is a natural progression toward a permanent commitment. Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean -- to her.

However, if you truly can't decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are -- and remain her little girl forever.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teenager who has liked this guy for a long time. We've been best friends forever, and I have liked him for two years. Recently he asked me out, and I was ecstatic -- at first. I still like him, but every time I think about him or I'm around him, or anything about him comes up, I get this horrible nausea. I have actually vomited because of it. How can I like him but he makes me feel ill? Is there a way to remedy this?-- LOVESICK IN PHOENIX

DEAR LOVESICK: Severe anxiety can cause someone to have the symptoms you have described. It's not unlike the feeling one has when riding a roller coaster. You appear to be suffering from an extreme case of young love, and there is no medication that can cure it. Try to remain calm, and your symptoms should subside over time.

DEAR ABBY: Your column often provides helpful tips to your readers. May I suggest that you remind those who are, or know someone who is, college-bound never to hesitate to apply for as many scholarships as possible -- regardless of how small.

My local conservation association has been giving scholarships for 11 years. Some years we get no applicants! The amounts are $500 and $1,000. This money could pay for books, lab fees or go toward tuition, but we get few applicants. Many fraternal organizations also give out numerous small scholarships. These all add up and can help to reduce the college debt burden we hear so much about.

It's never too soon to start. There are middle school and high school contests, too. Now is the time for students to start their college funds with all the prizes and scholarships they can accumulate.-- HELPING THE NEXT GENERATION

DEAR HELPING: I'm sure many families will thank you for this reminder. Readers, many small scholarships are available -- and the thing to do is talk to your school counselor and research online or at your local library. Indeed, it's never too soon to start looking.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#2
Jun 15, 2013
 

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1. Big baby wondering if she can do something without Mommy's permission
2. Littler baby scared of making first step. Clue: if you barf before your date, your breath will be awful and he will not want to kiss you.
3. Okay. Thanks for the reminder
pde

Gilberts, IL

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#3
Jun 15, 2013
 

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LW3: The problem is becoming more and more how schools treat external scholarships. When I attended college, if I got an external scholarship and the scholarship organization reported it or paid it directly to the school, the school subtracted half of it from my grant money and half of it from my loan money. It couldn't be applied to out of pocket living expenses. So, for example, I got a $500 scholarship from an arts organization. Its real "worth" to me was that it subtracted $250 from the amount of loan money I was ALLOWED to take out for freshman year.

Outside scholarships were all but worthless.
Cass

Upland, CA

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#4
Jun 15, 2013
 
LW1 - What Abby said.

LW3 - Doesn't everyone know it? Maybe it's because I work at a state college where in my freshman composition class, usually there are only 1 or 2 students out of 30 who have both parents with Bachelor's degrees, and where the vast majority of students pay their own way, with little or no financial help from the parents, I don't think anyone has ever rejected a scholarship because it was "too small."

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#5
Jun 15, 2013
 

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1- This LW is likely from a deeply religious family. Religion forbids cohabiting prior to marriage. Abby's response is flippant and insensitive. If the LW truly respects her mother's beliefs and doesn't want to cause conflict, she should get married now or hold off on moving in with her boyfriend.

2- Heh, it's like Kyle (or is it Stan?) from South Park who pukes on Wendy every time she approaches him.

3- Great, can I have a thousand dollars??

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#6
Jun 15, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
1- This LW is likely from a deeply religious family. Religion forbids cohabiting prior to marriage. Abby's response is flippant and insensitive. If the LW truly respects her mother's beliefs and doesn't want to cause conflict, she should get married now or hold off on moving in with her boyfriend.
I had not considered the possibility LW came from a fundie background. It makes sense though. I don't, but 43 years ago when I was going to move in with my bf/fiance (1969) all hell broke loose from all 4 parents. No one played the emotional trump card LW's mom is doing, but it would have been consistent if they had.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#7
Jun 15, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
1- This LW is likely from a deeply religious family. Religion forbids cohabiting prior to marriage. Abby's response is flippant and insensitive. If the LW truly respects her mother's beliefs and doesn't want to cause conflict, she should get married now or hold off on moving in with her boyfriend.

2- Heh, it's like Kyle (or is it Stan?) from South Park who pukes on Wendy every time she approaches him.

3- Great, can I have a thousand dollars??
Stan.
Julie

Skokie, IL

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#8
Jun 15, 2013
 

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LW1: You're 25--time to grow up. Of course, that's *exactly* what Mommy DOESN'T want you to do. Ever.
BTW, Dog--I appreciate your bringing in the possibility about a very religious family. But I think that the LW would have mentioned that aspect if it were the case.

LW2: If you get "horrible nausea" to the point of vomiting every time you're around him or even think about him, this is *NOT* not the guy for you. Abby's advice that this means an "extreme case of young love" is totally brain-dead. This is NOT an "extreme case of young love." This is a case of your body/brain *strongly* telling you something very important. Listen to your incredibly sick stomach. Do not listen to Abby.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

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#9
Jun 16, 2013
 
LW1 is a smothered child--and needs to take her
future and power forward, or she will resent that
"mommy".

Is LW2 a made up letter where the writer bet someone else she'd get the question "Are you pregnant" as a response, or soemthing?

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