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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
Nov 19, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I am attracted to a man who is 27 years my junior. He is also attracted to me because he initiated our meeting. We have gone out a few times, and he says he doesn't care about our age difference. He has also mentioned us living together and said he would gladly pay half the expenses even though I make more than he does.

Is this appropriate in today's society? I don't look much older than he does. But I'm from a generation in which this kind of thing would be looked down upon. Still, I realize that the world has changed, and I feel a strong attraction to him. I would appreciate any advice you can give me.-- HIS OLDER WOMAN IN MARYLAND

DEAR OLDER WOMAN: In many ways the world has changed. However, I assume that you socialize with couples and individuals in your age group, and this may cost you some of those relationships because your friends may be uncomfortable with the age difference.

I have printed letters from couples involved in successful May-December relationships in which the age made little difference. But I would suggest that you let this relationship develop a little further before deciding whether to move in together, and age has nothing to do with it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend I have known for 15 years. We have been through a lot together and have grown through all of our changes. However, her wardrobe hasn't changed. She still dresses like Betty White's character in "The Golden Girls" from the 1980s.

She is in a fragile state right now because of her recent divorce. How do I tell her to lose the shoulder pads so she can meet a stud?-- WARDROBE MISTRESS IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR WARDROBE MISTRESS: While your impulse to help your friend is laudable, it would be a mistake to suggest she change her image while she is in a "fragile state." Let some time pass, and then make a date for a day of fun, fashion, beauty and some shopping. When she's stronger and feeling better about herself, mention that now she's a free woman starting a new life, a new image would help with the transition.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for nine months, and I found out that about three months ago he got nude photos from another girl. I don't do that. I am hurt and torn on what to do. Please help.-- BETRAYED IN OHIO

DEAR BETRAYED: If there are no other red flags, don't waste your time being jealous. Take a lesson from this: The other girl gave him nude pictures of herself, but he's still with you. If he should ask you to give him similar photos of yourself, don't do it, because you will gain nothing and could lose a lot of privacy.

DEAR ABBY: At sporting events when everyone is asked to remove their hats for the national anthem, does this include females? We attend NFL football games and our grandson's soccer games, and it annoys me when I see women leave their hats on. Doesn't "everyone" also include them? Shouldn't they do this to show their respect for our flag and country?-- STICKLER IN FLORIDA

DEAR STICKLER: Whether a woman's hat should be removed depends on where it is being worn. In a theater or at a wedding, the hat should be removed as a courtesy if it blocks someone's view. At a sporting event, a casual hat should be taken off when the anthem is playing. However, at more formal events, if the hat is part of the woman's ensemble, it usually stays in place.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

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#2
Nov 19, 2013
 
1: Gross

2: MYOB

3: What's the actual question?

4: No

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#3
Nov 19, 2013
 

Judged:

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1. He found a sugar mama. "... I would suggest that you let this relationship develop a little further before deciding whether to move in together." Yes, you should and watch your credit card balance, too.

2. What's wrong with shoulder pads?

3. The question should be why he is in communication with another woman who feels she had permission to send him those photos. Last I heard they didn't arrive like spam or junk mail.

4. That is not how I remember the rule. Women need not remove their hats . However, that was from an era when women wore hats for decoration, not functionality. Today a woman wears a hat for the same purpose and of the same type a men: a ballast cap with an insignia, or something to keep warm. When the function equals a mans hat, the courtesies should equal a man's. Take off the baseball cap but leave the little veiled fascinater on.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#4
Nov 19, 2013
 
PEllen.... I think they mea te 1980s fottball player-sized houlder pads that wmewore. I don't think they make clothes with them much anymore.

LW3: I say a funny Judge Mathis the other day (I like him because he lets people tell their stories and he makes funny comments). A guy had a naked picture on his phone that a woman sent him and htried to convince his girlfriend that it was actually HER!!!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#5
Nov 19, 2013
 
2- Take ol girl to 5 Below, Ambercrombie, and Rue21 and get her decked out!

Since: Aug 08

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#6
Nov 19, 2013
 

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LW1: Good luck with that.

LW2: Girlís fashion stuff Ö donít care.

LW3: How is it your boyfriends fault that some woman sent him nude pictures? Did he ask for them?

LW4: Girlís fashion stuff Ö donít care.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#7
Nov 19, 2013
 
LW1: Whatever. Just don't move in with him.

LW2: Give the lady some time to feel better, would ya.

LW3: Torn about what to do about what? That someone sent the pictures or that you don't "do that."

LW4: Ha! I knew you were from a warm state because ain't nobody taking off their hats at a home Bears game in December.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#8
Nov 19, 2013
 
L1: I'm with Mimi. If the guy was 25 that would make her 52. What guy wants that? Whatever floats your boat, though. Yep, watch your wallet and credit cards.

L2: Accept your friend and quit trying to make her over. If she ever asks for an opinion, then give it and give it kindly.

L3: I'd wonder if he solicited it or if she just sent it by phone.

L4: At a sport event, I would take my hat off during the anthem. I can't imagine where's a stylish hat that's pinned to your head to a football or baseball game.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#9
Nov 19, 2013
 
Where's = wearing. Dunnno what happened there.
Blunt Advice

Hoboken, NJ

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#10
Nov 19, 2013
 
1. Camp Toj. A male gold digger.
2. There must be a single man out there who dresses like Rambo and has a Thriller leather jacket. Find him and fix her up.
3. If this kind of thing continues dump him.
4. What if the hat is covering a scar, or she's going thru chemo? Then I would think it should be kept on.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#11
Nov 19, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
LW3: How is it your boyfriends fault that some woman sent him nude pictures? Did he ask for them?
Because I doubt she sent him those in a void. He's probably flirting with her or even cheated with her.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#12
Nov 19, 2013
 
Stina2 wrote:
PEllen.... I think they mea te 1980s fottball player-sized houlder pads that wmewore. I don't think they make clothes with them much anymore.
!
(I knew that.) This just describes a good number of suits that I can't bring myself to part with.

Since: Aug 08

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#13
Nov 19, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Because I doubt she sent him those in a void. He's probably flirting with her or even cheated with her.
Oh no!!! Flirting with someone!! The horror!!!

You don't even need to flirt with some women for them to come on strong to you.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#14
Nov 19, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
(I knew that.) This just describes a good number of suits that I can't bring myself to part with.
Sometimes you can get away with it in a suit if they're not TOO big - or cut them out!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#15
Nov 19, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
(I knew that.) This just describes a good number of suits that I can't bring myself to part with.
I have nicely squared shoulders, so every sweater or jacket I bought in the 80s made me look like a football player. That is until I cut the shoulder pads out. Had a big pile of them in my closet...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#16
Nov 19, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh no!!! Flirting with someone!! The horror!!!
You don't even need to flirt with some women for them to come on strong to you.
Well, we all know that's true in YOUR case. And you scoff at my suggestion of flirting, but do you suppose there's a chance he was cheating? Or at least attempting to? There's harmless flirting, then there's flirting with evil intentions.

Since: Aug 08

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#17
Nov 19, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, we all know that's true in YOUR case. And you scoff at my suggestion of flirting, but do you suppose there's a chance he was cheating? Or at least attempting to? There's harmless flirting, then there's flirting with evil intentions.
You think that Iím the only person in the world that is true for?

I didnít scoff at your suggestion of flirting. Rather, I suggested flirting without more doesnít seem that bad to me.

Do I suppose thereís a chance he was cheating? I never discounted the possibility. Thatís why in my initial post I asked if her bf had requested these photos. The letter is light on details. Itís really hard to give any sort of advice when the LW doesnít share what played out that caused him to be in possession of such photos. The LW doesn't even share how she learned of them ... maybe he came out and told her, so as to be upfront about it?

Of course there is harmless flirting and flirting with evil intentions. On the flip side, thereís also not even flirting at all and women coming on strong to you. Sometimes just being nice and social is enough. Thatís why I asked if the boyfriend asked for the photos or if the woman just sent them to him.

I can think of more than a couple of women who I thought were just good friends take it to a physical level, even though they knew I was in a committed relationship. Iíve also had a number of women I hardly even knew ask me to go home with them, when I was just being nice and having a conversation with them, even though they knew I was married. In these situations, did I do something wrong? Am I not supposed to talk to ANY women when they approach me? Am I supposed to hiss at them, make the sign of the cross and say how dare they even talk to a married man, you floozy? Am I not allowed to have any female friends? Am I supposed to presume I am just not friend material for females due to my incredible irresistible hotness that no female can resist? Please.

How do you know this isnít something similar? You donít, but you sure are quick to judge. I reserve judgement ... not enough details.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#18
Nov 19, 2013
 
LW1: Have fun, but don't move in with the guy or start thinking this is a long-term relationship.

LW2: Don't give any unsolicited wardrobe advice, but do go shopping with her. Then compliment her on the things she picks out or help her pick out some stylish things in her favorite colors.

LW3: You are wise not to send nude pics. And don't worry about the other girl; she is history.

LW4: I'm with PEllen. I don't think women's hats need to be removed. The real rule is to stand and show respect, IMHO.
Blunt Advice

Hoboken, NJ

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#19
Nov 19, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I have nicely squared shoulders, so every sweater or jacket I bought in the 80s made me look like a football player. That is until I cut the shoulder pads out. Had a big pile of them in my closet...
. I relate. Those shoulder pads were the worst. Especially if you had a shirt and a jacket with them.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#20
Nov 19, 2013
 
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh no!!! Flirting with someone!! The horror!!!
You don't even need to flirt with some women for them to come on strong to you.
Sorry, but flirting and banter are self limited activities without expectation after the moment. Sharing photos is bad enough (anyone remember Gary Hart?) Sending nude photos is waaayyy beyond flirting

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