Amy 7-22

Posted in the Chicago Forum

Comments (Page 2)

Showing posts 21 - 40 of49
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#21
Jul 22, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
My last year of grad school was on my own nickel. I used student loans which I paid off just before I turned 40 which coincidentally is when that kind of interest stopped being deductible on Fed tax returns. She will have some skin in the game for a years worth of tuition.
and IMO,(a) having some skin in the game is a good thing; i think it'll mean more. and (b) IT"S ONLY ONE YEAR; lucky it isn't more.

the elder niece is an RN who worked her way through her schooling. every so many courses along the way was anohter designation - CNA, etc - so she worked as one while she kept studying. i don't know if she technically paid tuuition or if hte hospital she worked at paid the school directly. EIther way, she doesn't have any loans, and didn't have to worry about teh cash flow as a student. Too bad she doesn't have an ounce of empathy for her broke-ass family. <sigh> not sure waht happened wiht her.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#22
Jul 22, 2013
 
AS, she could feel that she busted her butt and made certain choices to get to where she is, and they can do the same?(I'm not saying it's that black and white, just that it could be her mindset.)

I know DR. Phil came from a rather poor family and he has had to set some firm boundaries with them because they started hitting him up for money when he started to get successful. He was on his own with no parental support at 17 or 18. He says his family is all about "can I afford the monthly payments?" and they've carried lots of consumer debt and I think there are several bankruptcies in his immediate family as well.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#23
Jul 22, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
AS, she could feel that she busted her butt and made certain choices to get to where she is, and they can do the same?(I'm not saying it's that black and white, just that it could be her mindset.)
I know DR. Phil came from a rather poor family and he has had to set some firm boundaries with them because they started hitting him up for money when he started to get successful. He was on his own with no parental support at 17 or 18. He says his family is all about "can I afford the monthly payments?" and they've carried lots of consumer debt and I think there are several bankruptcies in his immediate family as well.
This.

While they do alright, it's also not like an RN is making huge bucks (like Dr. Phil) such that she can be the family's Daddy Warbucks. Especially if she has a family of her own.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#24
Jul 22, 2013
 
1: As an educator for 12 years, I can say that coping skills are arguably one of the things kids are most deficit in! It is infuriating, but parents have really started coddling too much and this is the result. It was worse years ago (millennials, who are floundering in the workforce for reasons that are more tha just current employment challenges). Jobs and colleges are pushing back, so it will slowly shift again.

2: I hate letters like this because there is nothing you can do. You cannot change an adult man's basic ways. You just ride it out and get out when you can.
My dad was never physically abusive but the moment I stopped expecting him to change, I felt freedom. Now, we can talk and have a decent relationship, considering. He will never be "daddy" and I will never have what I want, but it won't change and I can't keep lamenting for that which I won't get.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#25
Jul 22, 2013
 
Chel- off topic.

What do you know about classes/courses to learn and be certified to teach English as a 2nd language? There are a lot on the i-net but I don't know how to screen for legitimate vs rip-off programs.

Thanks
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#26
Jul 22, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
AS, she could feel that she busted her butt and made certain choices to get to where she is, and they can do the same?(I'm not saying it's that black and white, just that it could be her mindset.)
I know DR. Phil came from a rather poor family and he has had to set some firm boundaries with them because they started hitting him up for money when he started to get successful. He was on his own with no parental support at 17 or 18. He says his family is all about "can I afford the monthly payments?" and they've carried lots of consumer debt and I think there are several bankruptcies in his immediate family as well.
I think he was actually like 16 and his dad was an alcoholic and not very nice. And, as Dr Phil always says, you don't solve money problems with money.:D

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#27
Jul 22, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
Chel- off topic.
What do you know about classes/courses to learn and be certified to teach English as a 2nd language? There are a lot on the i-net but I don't know how to screen for legitimate vs rip-off programs.
Thanks
YOu don't have to be "certified" per se (at least not in my state). I found a course, paid a minimal amount of money (I think that might have been for the background check they have to do if you're going to be teaching), took a weekly course for several weeks, then was thrown to the sharks!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#28
Jul 22, 2013
 
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
I think he was actually like 16 and his dad was an alcoholic and not very nice. And, as Dr Phil always says, you don't solve money problems with money.:D
I googled out of curiosity, his dad later became a PhD psychologist and Phil joined dad's practice. It also appears that he screwed over some people he was in business with.

I think he helps people, and I Like how he provides ongoing therapy for people who need it, but I also think he's shady.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#29
Jul 22, 2013
 
btw, I caught a bit of dr. phil on Friday when I was home. Robin got a lot of work done and looks weird now. I thought she was a lovely woman before, but now she's gone hollywood.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#30
Jul 22, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
YOu don't have to be "certified" per se (at least not in my state). I found a course, paid a minimal amount of money (I think that might have been for the background check they have to do if you're going to be teaching), took a weekly course for several weeks, then was thrown to the sharks!
I am thinking about it as a 2nd (3rd) career and to teach over seas after "retirement".

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#31
Jul 22, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I googled out of curiosity, his dad later became a PhD psychologist and Phil joined dad's practice. It also appears that he screwed over some people he was in business with.
I think he helps people, and I Like how he provides ongoing therapy for people who need it, but I also think he's shady.
Very shady. He continually says how he will not put kids in a bad public position, then does so. IMNSHO.

But I also think some of his ideas are relevant.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#32
Jul 22, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
L2 You have been living with your father for 18 years. Go away to college. Pay him lip service when you have contact. Take the college education as recompense for 18 years of BS. Thank him at graduation and move far away.(Offer your Mom a place to visit on her own)
Exactly! Try to hang in there for the next 4 years. You can use "I have a lot of homework" to minimize your contact with him. Get that sheepskin and you will have the tools you need to get as far away from him as you can.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Des Plaines, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#33
Jul 22, 2013
 
i do think that R (the elder) did work her patootie off during school. she's the first to have a degree/certification like that in her family. she has the most stable and secure job field of anyone in the extended family (SIL & her soon to be ex are blue collar, paycheck-to-paycheck workers).

she also lived at home, worked in her field (not a mcjob) learning more about her chosen field along the way. she has no student loans.

H (the younger) is living on her own, for geographic reasons during hte school year and b/c she doesn't ahve her chilhood home any more during hte summer & holidays. H had a wonderful opportunity, akin to an internship, to go to europe to be a trainer for a soccer tournament. R was throwing out digs for weeks before about "well,*I* never had a chance to go to europe..." no, you didn't R, but you did get the opportunity to work in your field as you went along....

R has the most stability in that family right now.. she has a good job, a loving partner, she owns a house. she has little compassion for those who need a bit of help right now. she's making her broke-ass sister pay rent (and giving her grief about using too much stuff around the house) and has no empathy for her even broker-assed mother... in the run-up to her wedding, R was expecting that her parents were going to pay for part of it, even though their marriage, business and personal finances were crumbling before everyone.

For R, it's all about her, and nearly always has been, and she's not showing much compassion for others. Not that R has to finance her sister's life, but she doesn't have to put the conditions on H staying there. If H didn't ahve a mcjob up there already, we'd let her stay wiht us and use all the TP she needs (which is the irrational battle du jour).

one doesn't have to help, but one doesn't have to be nasty about it. that's what hubby & i take issue with.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#34
Jul 22, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
Chel- off topic.
What do you know about classes/courses to learn and be certified to teach English as a 2nd language? There are a lot on the i-net but I don't know how to screen for legitimate vs rip-off programs.
Thanks
Not much, I'm afraid. All my certification went through the school district. Teachers have to take so many hours of ESOL here. 60 for most; 300 for Language Arts. I took 2 classes and just took the certification from the state to comp the remaining ones.
See what the state offers.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#35
Jul 23, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
I am thinking about it as a 2nd (3rd) career and to teach over seas after "retirement".
The English teachers I knew overseas had no training in teaching ESL as a second language (that I recall -- I know my boyfriend didn't; he moved to Taiwan in order to learn Chinese and taught English to pay the bills).

Preference was given to Americans, then Canadians, then Australians and Brits. I think your idea is great!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#36
Jul 23, 2013
 
Wow, AS, I feel for sister H!
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#37
Jul 23, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
btw, I caught a bit of dr. phil on Friday when I was home. Robin got a lot of work done and looks weird now. I thought she was a lovely woman before, but now she's gone hollywood.
I agree about Robin. I enjoy the show.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#38
Jul 23, 2013
 
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree about Robin. I enjoy the show.
Friday's show was about a control freak mother who doesn't want her children to ever have any disappointment or pain ever. She does their homework for them -- despite their protests -- so they get good grades.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#39
Jul 23, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Friday's show was about a control freak mother who doesn't want her children to ever have any disappointment or pain ever. She does their homework for them -- despite their protests -- so they get good grades.
Yeah, that was a repeat so I saw it a few months back. That lady was messed up!

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#40
Jul 23, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Wow, AS, I feel for sister H!
I think some of the things R said make her sound kind of mean, but I also think unlike AS, most folks view living at home and going to college as being less ideal than going to the university you really wish to go to and moving out of your folks house. Sure it may be less costly, but it's not the same experience and if it were the preferred route, pretty much everyone would go to community college for 2 years, then transfer to a 4 year college.

For me, I honestly couldn't wait to go AWAY to college and my folks were pretty easy going and let me have A LOT of freedom.

So, here on one hand, you have R, who basically, forewent going to away to college, including possibly a college she would have found more desirous, lived at home, and worked, so that she could get her degree as cost effectively as possible. Then you have H, who decides she's not going to live at home, not going to go to school near home, not going to choose a field, like R did where she can have tuition assistance, and expects R to bear some of the burdens for H's choices.

I can also say, my wife is sweeter than honey, but regardless of the circumstances, my wife would not be very enthused for any of my siblings to move in with us. For a long duration, it would be pretty much a non-starter. R is married and they are allowing H to live with them ... I'd say that's pretty nice that they are even allowing her to live with them. I would not be too crazy if I were married an my spouse wanted one of their siblings to live with us. You know the old saying about guests and fish...

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Showing posts 21 - 40 of49
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

65 Users are viewing the Chicago Forum right now

Search the Chicago Forum:
Topic Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 10 min RoxLo 1,072,550
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 11 min Jacques from Ottawa 173,679
Abby 7-11 20 min edogxxx 19
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 30 min Patriot AKA Bozo 45,517
Abby July 12 32 min Cass 2
Chicago's bloody Fourth: 82 shot, 14 dead 34 min mike 8
Amy July 12 42 min Cass 2
•••

Flood Warning for Cook County was issued at July 12 at 4:25AM CDT

•••
•••
•••

Chicago Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••