Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#22 Aug 20, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
CAn't he check himself?
Boys don't care about those things, unfortunately. They don't. Well, most boys.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#23 Aug 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
Unfortunately boogymen are everywhere.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-...
<quoted text>
He's not a boogyman, he's just a creep.

The boogyman is in the middle link I posted earlier.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#24 Aug 20, 2013
Someone in the Wapo posted about a young boy who was lost in the woods and for two days he could hear the searchers calling out for him, but he didn't seek them out because "They were strangers."

Stranger Danger. THe most useless, dangerous piece of garbage we feed our kids.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#25 Aug 20, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Someone in the Wapo posted about a young boy who was lost in the woods and for two days he could hear the searchers calling out for him, but he didn't seek them out because "They were strangers."
Stranger Danger. THe most useless, dangerous piece of garbage we feed our kids.
I agree. Sometimes there are dangers in your own darn family. Better to teach kids how to respond to certain situations, where to go, how to protect themselves, etc.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#26 Aug 20, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
He's not a boogyman, he's just a creep.
The boogyman is in the middle link I posted earlier.
Topix must have pulled it. The only other pot from you i the on from the cell phone pre-keyboard

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#27 Aug 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
1 could not even finish reading the letter...
People wont say condescending things to you if you quit dumping on them. Get a hobby for crying out loud.
Apparently her hobby IS crying out loud.

I get it...first time kid leaves home...blah, blah, blah. I cried like a baby until he was out of sight. Then I pulled myself together and made sure I had enough money in the bank to get him back home when it didn't pan out. He was following a girl. Who didn't know it wouldn't work out long term? It didn't. I bought him a ticket home.

The next time he went off on his own, it was easier. However at no time whatsoever did I continue being all depressed about it. I raised him to want to be independent. Isn't that what we are supposed to do? Frankly if he'd never wanted to leave home *that* would have been a concern.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#28 Aug 20, 2013
There was this greasy spoon type restaurant we used to go to. They had the best teriyaki steak. Anyway I don't know what it was before it was a restaurant, maybe a gas station, but the bathrooms were on the outside around the corner. I went to use them one day and as I entered, there was some guy in their laying in wait.

I RAN back in to the restaurant and the husband (Chris' dad) and the restaurant peeps (guys) went out there and caught the guy as he was trying to jump the fence. Police came...etc.

Public restrooms are scary places.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#29 Aug 20, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Topix must have pulled it. The only other pot from you i the on from the cell phone pre-keyboard
No wonder people weren't responding to my outrage.

I'll see what I can do...

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#30 Aug 20, 2013
LW1: Amy's intern clearly must have written this, since it is actually good advice. And maybe find a hobby, take your mind off the subject for awhile.

LW2: OK, my outrage has disappated a little on my train ride in, but Amy is still an idiot.

1. My 5 yo is tall enough and perfectly capable of washing and drying her own hands.

2. Checking the bathroom to make sure no one else is using it? Really? So you're gonna let your kid pee on the floor because someone else was using the public bathroom. BS. And this rash of bathroom molestations? A quick google search found 3 within the last year in CA/WA. You have a better chance of getting struck by lightening than having this happen to your child in a bathroom.

<deleted the links here. One was to a story of a guy in Wendy's who pulled a boy into the bathroom, locked the door and tried to molest him. Boy fought back and was stabbed.>

Don't get me wrong, these are horrific (especially the Wendy's one) but they just don't happen that often and I refuse to live my life like they do.

I wouldn't let my girls go to the bathroom alone at a sporting event, but I will in a restaurant or even our Target; it's all about knowing your kids and the environment you're in, not some arbitrary age that a hack advice columnist assigns.

LW3: Nope, this only applies to your jerk of a husband.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#31 Aug 20, 2013
I would love to share your outrage, May I?
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
No wonder people weren't responding to my outrage.
I'll see what I can do...

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#32 Aug 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
I would love to share your outrage, May I?
<quoted text>
Please!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#33 Aug 20, 2013
I took a beating over at the Wapo for having the same attitude as you on kids going ot the bathroom, squishy.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#34 Aug 20, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I took a beating over at the Wapo for having the same attitude as you on kids going ot the bathroom, squishy.
One of the links I had to delete was to Free Range Kids. There's a bunch of info there totally debunking this "it's so dangerous out there! and I can't let my kids out of my sight for a second" idea that parents have. It is more dangerous to put your kids in a car than let them go to the bathroom by themselves, yet we drive around daily with no second thought.

Thanks for fighting the good fight, Ang.
Anonymous

Saint Petersburg, FL

#35 Aug 20, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
One of the links I had to delete was to Free Range Kids. There's a bunch of info there totally debunking this "it's so dangerous out there! and I can't let my kids out of my sight for a second" idea that parents have. It is more dangerous to put your kids in a car than let them go to the bathroom by themselves, yet we drive around daily with no second thought.
Thanks for fighting the good fight, Ang.
The key is balance, I guess. I can't imagine waiting till my kid was 9 to let her go pee. She loves to help at the grocery (mainly to get out of there quicker) by running to grab the milk or cheese or whatever for me. She likes to go out and ride her scooter or her bike. Not to say I don't worry and I don't check now and then, but we have to give them some freedoms and independence!

I was talking with another mom at work the other day whose daughter took the school bus the first time the other day on the first day of school. We were laughing about how nervous she (the mom) was but that she knows it's OK and that, when her daughter gets home from school and is home for an hour or two, she knows all the rules, safety steps, etc because they went over them again repeatedly over the summer. We have to teach them and learn to let go. We'll ALWAYS worry, but we survived JUST FINE and we know in our hearts that they are most likely to be just fine, too!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#36 Aug 20, 2013
StinaRocks wrote:
<quoted text>
The key is balance, I guess. I can't imagine waiting till my kid was 9 to let her go pee. She loves to help at the grocery (mainly to get out of there quicker) by running to grab the milk or cheese or whatever for me. She likes to go out and ride her scooter or her bike. Not to say I don't worry and I don't check now and then, but we have to give them some freedoms and independence!
I was talking with another mom at work the other day whose daughter took the school bus the first time the other day on the first day of school. We were laughing about how nervous she (the mom) was but that she knows it's OK and that, when her daughter gets home from school and is home for an hour or two, she knows all the rules, safety steps, etc because they went over them again repeatedly over the summer. We have to teach them and learn to let go. We'll ALWAYS worry, but we survived JUST FINE and we know in our hearts that they are most likely to be just fine, too!
I let the girls play outside; they ride their bikes or scooters around the building and are usually so loud I don't have to go looking for them. But we had a scare recently; our downstairs neighbor's eldest boy (he's 12) was approached while on his bike (several blocks away from our apt. bldg.) by someone with a minivan offering to give him (and his bike) a ride home. Neighbor boy correctly assessed this guy was a creep and took off. We decided to tell the girls about this as a refresher on talking to strangers but not going with strangers and trusting their gut.

We forgot turkey bacon at Target the other day. We were a couple of aisles away when we remembered and I asked Lulu did she want to run and grab it. I did not worry one little bit and she was back in a flash. On the same trip, Nunu had to go potty; I asked Lulu if she would escort her to the bathroom and off they ran. I waited within eyesight of the bathroom and presently they came out. No worries. And the one time that Lulu did take too long and I was about to go in after her, she came out to tell me she took so long because she was helping a mother change a fussy baby by distracting him.*That* is the kind of thing that kids miss out on when we hover over them and control their every move.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#37 Aug 20, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I also remember in a similar discussion where you said your young (maybe 4?) son was capable of peeing without dad helping in the restroom, but your presence was more about keeping a curious kid from touching every possible surface in a dirty public restroom.
Bingo.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#38 Aug 20, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
CAn't he check himself?
He gets no practice at home on checking for and cleaning up a peed on seat. I Just don't trust him to take it serious enough to do a good job of cleaning the seat and not getting someone else's pee on his hands. I'd be afraid he'd not grab enough paper and end up still getting pee on his hands.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#39 Aug 20, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW2: OK, my outrage has disappated a little on my train ride in, but Amy is still an idiot.
1. My 5 yo is tall enough and perfectly capable of washing and drying her own hands.
2. Checking the bathroom to make sure no one else is using it? Really? So you're gonna let your kid pee on the floor because someone else was using the public bathroom. BS. And this rash of bathroom molestations? A quick google search found 3 within the last year in CA/WA. You have a better chance of getting struck by lightening than having this happen to your child in a bathroom.
<deleted the links here. One was to a story of a guy in Wendy's who pulled a boy into the bathroom, locked the door and tried to molest him. Boy fought back and was stabbed.>
Don't get me wrong, these are horrific (especially the Wendy's one) but they just don't happen that often and I refuse to live my life like they do.
I wouldn't let my girls go to the bathroom alone at a sporting event, but I will in a restaurant or even our Target; it's all about knowing your kids and the environment you're in, not some arbitrary age that a hack advice columnist assigns.
All this. And the fact that you let your kid go to the restroom alone does not mean that you are pulling into a rest stop off the interstate and sitting in the car while your kid runs in to pee. Anyone with half a brain can assess the difference in potential risk and act accordingly. I agree with you that I will not conduct my parenting and behavior out of fear based on extremely rare occurrences.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#40 Aug 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
I would love to share your outrage, May I?
<quoted text>
I was in the same boat as squishy. same outrage. Same situation of not having a full keyboard to fully spell out that outrage. I gave you outrage light this morning.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#41 Aug 20, 2013
LW1: Find something interesting to do to distract yourself. Learn how to play an instrument, dance, play golf, something...

LW2: It depends on the child and the restroom. When I was in kindergarten we used the school restrooms. I remember that the toilets were small and low and we didn't need help. So I think many, if not most 5 year olds would do fine on their own. Nine seems way too old. Teach your children to practice good hygiene, but don't make them afraid to use public restrooms. We all need one from time to time!

LW3: Good answer from Amy.

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