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1 - 9 of 9 Comments Last updated Jun 30, 2014

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
Jun 28, 2014
 
DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and a junior in high school. My family has recently been hit with hard times. We lost our home and are living in a motel, and I am struggling with depression. I haven't attended school since last September. However, I am feeling well enough to the point where I'd like to start attending school again.

I would be willing to take more than six periods and, if necessary, I would be willing to attend summer school. I want to graduate from high school, but I don't know if that's possible.

My mother has never been OK with any decisions I have made, so I don't know how to tell her. I don't want to disappoint her, but I do want to do this. Any advice you are willing to give would be appreciated!-- ANONYMOUS GIRL

DEAR GIRL: You are clearly an intelligent young woman, and your determination to finish school is something that should be supported by all of the adults in your life. If possible, go back to the school you were attending and talk with a counselor or the principal about your family's circumstances -- including your struggle with depression. Whether you can resume studies at your former school may depend upon whether the motel you're staying in is within the district. But a counselor should be able to help you to transfer if that becomes necessary.

I wish you the best of luck. Your mother should be proud of you because I certainly am.

DEAR ABBY: I am pregnant with my third child. There has been a large gap between baby No. 2 and baby No. 3. With my second child, my husband and I were just starting out and used hand-me-downs. But now we are established and can purchase items to suit our preferences.

Many well-meaning family members and friends have started inundating us with hand-me-downs (some ask first; others are just dropping things off). I really don't want any of these items. However, I don't want to seem ungrateful or rude because the well-wishers seem so excited to give me these things. The way I was raised, I have a hard time turning down offers such as these. How do I kindly tell these people I don't want their hand-me-downs?-- CONFLICTED IN PHILLY

DEAR CONFLICTED: Thank the donors warmly for their thoughtfulness and generosity, and say you already have all the things you need for the new baby. It is not necessary to allude to the fact they are "hand-me-downs." If the person insists on giving them to you anyway, donate them to a charity such as a homeless shelter.(Warning: To avoid possible hurt feelings, do NOT include them in a yard sale.)

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#2
Jun 28, 2014
 

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1- Dad in the picture? Other children to support? Can't understand why you think your mother wouldn't want you to finish high school. Just keep voting Democrat and the government will take care of you. No need to finish school. Or work.

2- They see it as a reason to get rid of crap they no longer need. Donate it as there are many welfare babies that could use it. God, first world problems....

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

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#3
Jun 28, 2014
 
edogxxx wrote:
1- Dad in the picture? Other children to support? Can't understand why you think your mother wouldn't want you to finish high school. Just keep voting Democrat and the government will take care of you. No need to finish school. Or work.
2- They see it as a reason to get rid of crap they no longer need. Donate it as there are many welfare babies that could use it. God, first world problems....
1. I suspect it is the depression talking when she says her mom doesn't want her to finish school.

2 Babies always need extras of something. Keep the bags of hand me downs until the baby outgrows the sizes and then pass it along.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

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#4
Jun 28, 2014
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
1. I suspect it is the depression talking when she says her mom doesn't want her to finish school.
2 Babies always need extras of something. Keep the bags of hand me downs until the baby outgrows the sizes and then pass it along.
1: I agree. When I first read the letter, I was just as confused as edog. Then I remembered a young man in my extended family who dated and later married a young woman who had been a prostitute. He said her father put her out to "work" at a very young age - about 14 or 15. I don't think this woman was well-educated and I doubt she finished high school. That marriage didn't last; she left him for a bouncer at a bar where she was stripping. I'm not kidding; this is a true story. If someone told me this and I didn't know any better, I'd have thought it came from some kind of tv crime drama. Anyway, I'm not saying this lw is doing this but she may be working at some kind of job to help with the family's finances. If the mom is a bit of a sketchy character, she might not be happy about the girl's desire to go back to school thereby depriving her of the income she might be bringing in. Too bad the lw didn't provide more details.

2: I agree to a point. My daughter already had 3 kids when her twins were born. People in her congregation had been giving her hand-me-downs for all of her kids and the number of items seemed to soar when the twins (a boy and girl) came along. She and her husband are, and always have been, able to provide whatever their kids need. They've never been on any kind of public assistance. She does what you suggested. She sorts through all the items according to size. When her kids outgrow them, she either passes them on to others in the congregation who have younger kids or passes them on to women's shelters and homeless shelters. She's never had any problem finding "homes" for the outgrown clothes or toys.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

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#5
Jun 28, 2014
 
LW1: I can't imagine a mother who does not want her daughter to finish high school, but perhaps LW is working and the family needs her income. I hope LW finds a way to get an education and a decent job. And where is this child's father?

LW2: Do not tell people that you don't want their used baby items. They cherish these items because they remind them of when their children were small. They saved them to give to someone who is special to them rather than give them to charity. You are that someone special. Take PEllen's advice.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

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#6
Jun 28, 2014
 

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LW1 better be fake. If not, that girl needs to go to the nearest public school and tell them she wants her education. She will soon be 18--and able to sign herself into a high school or GED program one way or another.

LW2 doesn't know how to smile, say "thank you" and give those clothes to the Pregnancy Resource Center?
Julie

Chicago, IL

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#7
Jun 28, 2014
 
LW1 is 17 and hasn't attended school in almost a year? As she's a minor, shouldn't there be a social worker or someone keeping track/following up because she hasn't attended school for an **entire school year**?

IMHO, something here doesn't pass the "smell" test.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#8
Jun 28, 2014
 

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LW2: "With my second child, my husband and I were just starting out and used hand-me-downs. But now we are established and can purchase items to suit our preferences."

Preferences? Really? Its kids clothes. they grow out of it so fast. Are you really that flowing with money that you'd rather spend money on new shit the kid will out grow every few months instead of getting free stuff? Seems really wasteful to me no matter your income level.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#9
Jun 30, 2014
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: "With my second child, my husband and I were just starting out and used hand-me-downs. But now we are established and can purchase items to suit our preferences."
Preferences? Really? Its kids clothes. they grow out of it so fast. Are you really that flowing with money that you'd rather spend money on new shit the kid will out grow every few months instead of getting free stuff? Seems really wasteful to me no matter your income level.
This is exactly what I was thinking. I bet a lot of the clothes they get were probably only worn once or twice. I had so many clothes given to us for my daughter that a lot of it was almost new! Why spend the money if you don't have to. Wouldn't that money be better spent in a college fund for the kids or even for a family vacation or something?

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