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Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#41 Oct 4, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I think the problem is how do you know if they are reformed. I would wager more often than not, that they aren't.
There are also always going to be folks like Cunzel who would never sign onto that line of thought. It's no secret that I think she is too demanding, but I will be the first to admit that it is her right.
:)
Well who would have thought that the most notorious womanizer in Hollywood, Warren Beatty, would turn into a family man in his golden years?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#42 Oct 4, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I donít know how many partners the original letter writer had. What I do know is that her SO sounds like he would be uncomfortable dating someone who had a lot of partners and itís his right to feel that way. It doesnít matter what century this is.
I also never said that such a woman could never have a serious relationship again. Again, I donít even know the figure. I was speaking about your friend, but even in her case:
A) Some folks are more like you and say oh well, that was a phase in her life and thatís not who she is anymore.
B) Some folks may find it to be a plus.
C) Most folks I think are not going to find that to be a plus and a significant number may find it to be a deal breaker, however.
So it seems the solution to me is to find someone who is in the A or B camp, rather than find someone in the C camp and hide it from them or refuse to disclose something that would be material in terms of whether or not theyíd want to be in a relationship with you and tell them itís none of their business, when they are telling you it is something that is relevant to them in terms of whether they want to date you. If that means you have slim pickings, well then you only have yourself to blame, right? You made your choices. No one has to approve of them.
Last I checked it is the 21st century and most folks agree that folks have the right to make their own choices in life. Thatís not a one way street, which is what you fail to realize. That doesnít just mean you can do whatever you want, have sex with just about every guy who has ever made eye contact with you, and guys shouldnít be able to decide on their own whether they find that unappealing and donít want to date you because of this.
I feel that way even though, I've done stuff that some woman probably wouldn't want to date me because of, if I were single. The thing is I own my decisions, I'm not ashamed, and I wouldn't want a woman who wouldn't want me if she knew the truth.
He sounded more like anything more than two was unacceptable. He was tightly wound. And his sign-off indicated that he was older, like 60, so to expect her to have only a handful of partners in an extended period of time is unrealistic.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#43 Oct 4, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
He sounded more like anything more than two was unacceptable. He was tightly wound. And his sign-off indicated that he was older, like 60, so to expect her to have only a handful of partners in an extended period of time is unrealistic.
Exactly. And he seemed determined to be unhappy about this.

“No. 1 Stunna”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#44 Oct 4, 2012
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
Well who would have thought that the most notorious womanizer in Hollywood, Warren Beatty, would turn into a family man in his golden years?
For every guy like that, there are probably 9 guys who never really change.

“No. 1 Stunna”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#45 Oct 4, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
He sounded more like anything more than two was unacceptable. He was tightly wound. And his sign-off indicated that he was older, like 60, so to expect her to have only a handful of partners in an extended period of time is unrealistic.
That may be the case, but that's his choice.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#46 Oct 4, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
That may be the case, but that's his choice.
If he chooses to be ridiculous, than he can wait for his middle-aged virgin. Could be a long wait. And she might have... other issues.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#47 Oct 4, 2012
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
If he chooses to be ridiculous, than he can wait for his middle-aged virgin. Could be a long wait. And she might have... other issues.
Anyone ever see that show on Discovery Health (or something, I really can't remember) can't even remember what it's called but it's about 30 somethings, even 40 somethings that are virgins?

Anyway, it doesn't sound like this guy is expecting his fiance to be a virgin (she was married, after all), but if you inquire about your partner's sexual history, and they refuse to discuss it, I think that would raise some red flags for many people. He's really wanting transparency and honesty. He might be able to deal if she said "I've been with forty people," but her adamant refusal to share this information can understandably put someone off.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#48 Oct 4, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Anyone ever see that show on Discovery Health (or something, I really can't remember) can't even remember what it's called but it's about 30 somethings, even 40 somethings that are virgins?
Anyway, it doesn't sound like this guy is expecting his fiance to be a virgin (she was married, after all), but if you inquire about your partner's sexual history, and they refuse to discuss it, I think that would raise some red flags for many people. He's really wanting transparency and honesty. He might be able to deal if she said "I've been with forty people," but her adamant refusal to share this information can understandably put someone off.
She didn't refuse to discuss the subject, nor was she dishonest. She just demurred about giving him an exact number. She was honest about the fact that she had done some experimenting after her divorce. I have never asked a man how many partners he has had, nor would it ever occur to me to inquire. It doesn't matter. What matters is the present, not the past.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#49 Oct 4, 2012
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
She didn't refuse to discuss the subject, nor was she dishonest. She just demurred about giving him an exact number.
That's refusal. And if you think women shouldn't be ashamed of their past, then why not answer your fiance's question? Gender reverse and pick a different issue. Suppose the woman wanted to know how many times her fiance has ordered alter boys from backpage dot com? And he refused to answer? Wouldn't you be blasting him for not coming clean right away?

Double standard
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#50 Oct 4, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That's refusal. And if you think women shouldn't be ashamed of their past, then why not answer your fiance's question? Gender reverse and pick a different issue. Suppose the woman wanted to know how many times her fiance has ordered alter boys from backpage dot com? And he refused to answer? Wouldn't you be blasting him for not coming clean right away?
Double standard
Why not? Because he is badgering her about something in her past which has nothing to do with their current relationship. Because he will either torment himself with the information, or use it to berate her the next time they have an argument. I suspect he is insecure or has a madonna/whoorre complex. As I stated in my original response, NO GOOD will come of him knowing an exact number. JMHO. Double standard? I could poll my girlfriends, but I would bet you lunch that none of them ask their boyfriends or husbands this question. Women only care if you are shagging someone else NOW.

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