“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Jul 13, 2013
EAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl and I had a big argument with my mom. It's about her drinking. I have tried to get her to stop because most of the money she makes goes straight to her alcohol, but instead of talking it out, she starts yelling. She says it's her life and we can't tell her what to do with her money.

I have five younger sisters and brothers, and I try to come up with the money myself from baby-sitting. I feel as if my younger siblings are my children. I am so fed up with my mother's behavior. Should I keep talking to her about it or leave it be?-- CAN'T DO IT ALL ON GUAM

DEAR CAN'T DO IT ALL: As long as your mother continues to deny that she has a drinking problem, there is nothing you can do to help her without further putting her on the defensive. But you may be able to find support from Alateen.

Alateen is a group for teens that was established specially for young people who are affected by the drinking problem of someone close to them. You would also be welcome at a weekly Al-Anon meeting in Chalan Pago. For more information on Al-Anon and Alateen, visit al-anon dot alateen dot org, email [email protected] or call 888-4AL-ANON.

At your tender age, you should not have to assume financial responsibility for your younger siblings. You should discuss this with your clergyperson, a teacher at school or another trusted adult because they may be able to get you some help from a social services organization.

DEAR ABBY: A relative of mine has a 5-year-old son who is at least 20 or 30 pounds overweight. Everyone in the family is concerned about it, but no one knows how to bring it up to the parents without offending them. We don't understand how the parents or grandparents don't see his weight as an issue.

Bullying is a huge deal among children, and we fear he might have trouble with other kids his age teasing him. However, we are more worried about his health than anything. Being that overweight is a lot for anyone, but especially a young child. What should we do?-- SOMEONE WHO CARES IN CHICAGO

DEAR SOMEONE WHO CARES: How do you know the child's parents and grandparents don't see his weight as an issue? A way to raise the subject would be to mention your concern and ask what the boy's pediatrician has had to say about it. While years ago doctors may have been reluctant to raise the issue, today they are much less so because the American Medical Association has declared obesity to be a disease.

Also, as a relative, try to include the boy in physical activity you engage in.

DEAR ABBY: My 2-year-old granddaughter, Brayleigh, is friendly and outgoing. If you see us in the grocery store, she will probably smile at you and say, "Hi." She would love it if you smiled back and said it too, but please, resist the urge to touch her.

Your kids or grandkids may giggle when you play "got your nose" or "tickle your belly" with them, but that's because they know and trust you. You are a total stranger to Brayleigh, even if you know me. While you may mean well, imagine a total stranger rushing up and putting their hands all over you! Abby, how about passing along the message?-- BRAYLEIGH'S GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: I'm glad to help. No one should touch a child without first asking permission from the adult who is accompanying the little boy or girl. Not only could the child be frightened by it, but the parent could misunderstand and it could lead to an altercation.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#2 Jul 13, 2013
1- Six kids under the age of 13? I see why she drinks. Just call child services.

2- MYOB

3- Screw you, lady! Helicopter grandma?
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#3 Jul 13, 2013
If LW1 is a home schooled military child, she should go to the military medical facility and tell
Family Advocacy everything she said in this letter.

Unless LW2 can befriend his mother and/or father,
there isn't that much LW2 can do.

LW3 can ask Brayleigh's parents how they feel about what she sees--but Brayleigh is their daughter and their responsibility.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#4 Jul 13, 2013
LW2 - Is the kid's weight proportional to his height? If yes, leave it alone. If not, leave it alone. It's really none of your business. Yes, yes, I know you care about the boy, but he is not your child. When you can, play ball with him, or race, or get him on a bike. IF you have a chance to treat the boy to a meal or host him at your house, make something healthy and full of fresh veggies and fruit. But try not to butt in overtly into somebody else's parenting.

LW3 - Your grandkid is named Brayleigh? I am so sorry to hear that! My condolences.

On a separate note, however, I can't imagine too many people touching your grandchild. How the heck to they get a chance? I have two kids. When we are out in public, they are rarely in enough physical proximity or position to anyone for that anyone to actually touch them. You need to rethink how Brayleigh (sigh, poor baby) approaches other people, where she stands in respect to them, etc. Positioning oneself within a reasonable personal space of other people should prevent most of them from being able to touch you easily.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Jul 13, 2013
1 Study you mother very well, then do the opposite of everything she does.

2 Not with Cass, the kid probably looks like a walking pineapple.

3 With Cass, I have never even considered touching another persons child unless it was to prevent them from hurting themselves. What kinda creepy places is grandma going to?
Julie

Chicago, IL

#6 Jul 13, 2013
LW1: Thanks for the PSA, Abby. No one believes it for a nanosecond.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#7 Jul 13, 2013
LW3: Back the F off, Helicopter Granmaw. And "Brayleigh"? Oh Puhleeeeze.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#8 Jul 15, 2013
LW3: You guys had my reaction... "BRAYLEIGH" really? Gag! LW should have talked to son or daughter about "Names That Will Land Your Child on a Stripper Pole".

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