Posted in the Chicago Forum
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#1 Jan 26, 2014
DEAR AMY: I have a myriad of health problems. The long and short of it is that I am often in pain and have difficulty walking, sitting and standing. That said, I do not use a wheelchair yet, and while I walk slowly, I don't always limp.
However, at my newborn's day care center, none of this matters. There are only two handicap spaces, and they are almost always taken by healthy moms who resent being asked to move to other spaces for someone who "obviously isn't disabled."
I try being polite, but some of the moms are incredibly rude. One even threatened me after I asked her to move her SUV.(She was parked across both spaces with the motor off and talking on the phone.)
Honestly, I wouldn't have asked if there were any spaces within range or even if they got in and out quickly. When there are no spaces in the lot, I have to park illegally in front of the building and block the moms who parked illegally to begin with. Guess who they think is the jerk in that scenario?
I have asked the head of the center to please post a sign reminding parents that they shouldn't take up the disabled spots but she won't do it. I feel awful about causing trouble.
Should I just suck up the pain and park far away, or in some cases, wait 10 minutes for a space? Finding another day care isn't an option.-- Disabled and Distressed
DEAR DISABLED: You have tried asking people nicely to please respect the handicap space, which is there by law. You have gone to the head of the day care center and asked her to post a reminder, and nothing has worked.
If you don't want to make waves, you will need to continue to accommodate these rude mothers.
There is also the nuclear option: If you have a valid and visible handicap permit and these jerky mothers routinely park in handicap spaces and won't move their cars when you ask, then you can park behind them, trapping them in -- and (after everyone has taken their babies in), call the police and ask their advice -- and then wait until police arrive to ticket the other drivers.
DEAR AMY: A close relative's son, who is 16, failed three classes last year.
Despite attempts to get him to go to summer school, he did not go. Being concerned about this child, I ordered a behavioral intervention program advertised on the radio. I offered it to his mother free of charge, but she refuses to look at it.
After having listened to some of the program myself, I believe it could really help this boy take responsibility for himself.
I have tried emailing tidbits of the program to my relative, and she does not reply. I am sick with worry over the boy's future. I love them both, but I feel the mother is denying that she could impact the situation with assistance and is letting her pride get in the way of accepting my help.
Can you offer any suggestions?-- Concerned Sister
DEAR SISTER: You can send your relative all of this material along with a note saying, "I realize this is overstepping boundaries, but I want to offer this to you in hopes that it will help." After that, do no more.
It is kind of you to try to help this child, but you must realize that being an "armchair parent" will not endear you to parents struggling in the trenches.
DEAR AMY: "Geezer" was concerned about dating a much younger woman.
I'm a 64-year-old man and my life partner is a 32-year-old man. For us, it works. In all of my years, I've never "clicked" with another human being so well.
His parents, who are younger than I am, are super supportive. So are many other people in our lives -- gay and straight -- acquaintances, friends and family.
My life partner and I make each other very happy. If Geezer and his lady friend find happiness together, more power to them.-- Another Geezer
DEAR ANOTHER: I agree. Thank you.
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#2 Jan 26, 2014
1- You have difficulty walking, sitting, and standing... and you're driving... AND you have a newborn? I'd say you have bigger problems then finding a place to park. But I like the idea of parking behind them. But I must wonder how much of a drama queen you are? I have rarely, if ever, seen a car parked in a handicap spot without a sticker, or plaque. Even in lots that are full all the way to the last row, the handicap spaces are empty. And for you, this sounds like a daily problem. I'm not sure about this one.
2- Jeebus, get the hell out of your dam nephew's business. I couldn't tell you the grades my nephews are getting, nor do I care.
3- I just threw up in my mouth a little. Now there's a letter I wish I could unread.
Since: Jun 09
#3 Jan 26, 2014
LW1 did not say she has a handicap sticker so that could be a threshold issue.
People have cell phones. Cellphones have cameras. Take a picture and show it to the daycare manager. Let them put up a sign asking that the Disabled spots not be used. Take that picture ( with the licene plate and send it to the offender. If she remains um, defant, post it on FB.
However all of this depends on whether LW has a handicap sticker. If she doesn't, she is just a parking nazi as far as the rest of the world is concerned. One of the downsides of being stoic and not wanting to take advantage of a advisability is that when you need the advantage you can't claim it.
Dog- if she has a newborn, ease of access to a building with the baby IS one of the problems.
#4 Jan 26, 2014
LW1 - Make sure you have a handicapped license plate or placard. Take pictures of offenders and show them to the day care center director. If nothing is done, contact the local police department and report the situation.
LW2 - You are soooooo out of line. Yes, I understand that seeing your nephew flunking school and his parents not caring much is heart-breaking, but you can offer your help once. After that, it's time to shut up.
LW3 - Yay for you?
#5 Jan 26, 2014
I think that daycares are one of those places where people seem to think that handicap spaces are optional.
There were a bunch of parents with really expensive cars who constantly parked in the handicap spots at our kid's daycare. They weren't disabled, and didn't have handicap stickers. There were a couple of parents who did, and often couldn't park there during during "rush hour". This particular daycare was associated with a workplace. Yes, it was a daily occurrence.
Someone associated with the daycare needs to call the cops, and get them set up to do a sting on those parents. Maybe for a week if possible.
#6 Jan 26, 2014
LW1: Healthy moms have no business parking in the disabled spots, period. Time to take pictures and send them to the police. They can come out and start issuing citations. I am sure that your city will appreciate the added revenue. I agree with all ^ who said that you need a disabled placard to press the issue.
LW2: Team Cass and you will get a lot farther with "I am so sorry that your son is having a difficult time" than you will trying so hard to intervene and solve the problem.
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