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21 - 40 of 115 Comments Last updated Nov 1, 2012
Sam I Am

Knoxville, TN

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#21
Nov 1, 2012
 
1. Well, your wife was also keeping the secret, it was more hers to share, but since she's gone, you're up. I love how everyone wants the easy way out. "How do I tell them this shitty thing without getting any backlash?" You don't. Own it, tell them, and let people react. And go from there. But quit being a wuss.

2. Rental you dum dum. Every man should have 2 nice suits whether they need them for work or not. Funerals, nice dinners, weddings, events.

3. I hope minor misfortune befalls you today.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#22
Nov 1, 2012
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
"More than 50 years ago I met a girl, and we started dating. A few months later she told me she was expecting a baby,"
Using that as a baseline, the oldest kid was born over 50 years ago. Sure that could mean 55 or 60, but its probably a good bet that he just chose the nearest round number. So we can assume the oldest kid would have been a little over 50 today. But he died 3 years ago. So probably dead around 50.
"All three children have also passed away over the years."
If the oldest one just died 3 years ago around age 50, the other's obviously died at younger ages if they died before him.
I'll agree they were *around* fifty, but there's nothing to indicate they all died *by* age fifty.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

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#23
Nov 1, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Since you and the dog are of one mind today....
POLL TIME!
Weddings and funerals. Are they events that
1) require a suit & tie
2) require at at least a jacket and dress shirt
3) Phil Collins Style - No Jacket required, but still need long sleeve shirt and a tie
4) Dressy short sleeves will do
5) No rules. Come as you are.
I'm at 3.5. I say 3, but lean towards 4 depending on the weather. It gets hot down in Fla. I ain't wearing long sleeves to no outdoor event unless it is 100% required.
I think it completely depends on the individual situation and there's no blanket answer.

I've only been to one funeral. I wore a long skirt and a sweater (it was chilly out, up in NC). I've only been to a small handful of weddings and same thing: skirt and top or a dress, but not anything resembling an evening gown.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#24
Nov 1, 2012
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Where did he say he does not own nice clothes? Does casual = not nice to you? You've jumped from him not having a suit and his wife not having an evening gown to them only having shorts and flip flops. There's a lot in the middle that you are completely jumping over.
He said he doesn't even own any "semi-formal" wear, so to me, that basically leaves tank tops and T shirts. Don't people usually have nice clothes for things like job interviews, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, has he NEVER been to a wedding or funeral? I stand by my statement that it is extremely odd for someone not to own any nice clothes.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

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#25
Nov 1, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Since you and the dog are of one mind today....
POLL TIME!
Weddings and funerals. Are they events that
1) require a suit & tie
2) require at at least a jacket and dress shirt
3) Phil Collins Style - No Jacket required, but still need long sleeve shirt and a tie
4) Dressy short sleeves will do
5) No rules. Come as you are.
I'm at 3.5. I say 3, but lean towards 4 depending on the weather. It gets hot down in Fla. I ain't wearing long sleeves to no outdoor event unless it is 100% required.
Well, you're talking guys here. For women, I'd put it at:

1) require full evening gown/ball gown (white tie event)
2) require cocktail dress or evening gown (black tie event)
3) require a dress
4) require a dressy outfit (pants suits and the like allowed)
5) no rules.

I fall at about 3.5 for funerals. I'd most likely wear a dress, but that's because my dark, muted clothing is more likely to be dresses.

Weddings fall at 3 or 2 for me--depending on the couple and the time of day. If I was told a wedding was a 1, I'd probably not show up.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#26
Nov 1, 2012
 
edogxxx wrote:
He said he doesn't even own any "semi-formal" wear, so to me, that basically leaves tank tops and T shirts. Don't people usually have nice clothes for things like job interviews, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner,
Formal = tux
Semi-formal = dark suit

What about nice dress pants, button down shirt, maybe even a tie? To me, that's nice clothes, but it would not fly at a semi-formal event.
edogxxx wrote:
I stand by my statement that it is extremely odd for someone not to own any nice clothes.
So I ask again, is a suit and tie the only thing you consioder to be "nice clothes"? I have been to many a Christmas & thanksgiving celebration and never seen a person wear a suit.

LW does not have semi-formal wear. That does not mean no nice clothes.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#27
Nov 1, 2012
 
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, you're talking guys here. For women, I'd put it at:
1) require full evening gown/ball gown (white tie event)
2) require cocktail dress or evening gown (black tie event)
3) require a dress
4) require a dressy outfit (pants suits and the like allowed)
5) no rules.
I fall at about 3.5 for funerals. I'd most likely wear a dress, but that's because my dark, muted clothing is more likely to be dresses.
Weddings fall at 3 or 2 for me--depending on the couple and the time of day. If I was told a wedding was a 1, I'd probably not show up.
Thanks for doing the female translation, pde!

Since I pretty much only wear dresses/skirts, it just depends on how dressy the event is. Last wedding we attened was during the day, so it was a firm 3. But a funeral is would probably fall in the 2 to 3 range, depending on my relationship with the deceased.

I think if I was invited to an event that required anything more, I'd try to get out of it. I hate shopping for fancy stuff - too expensive.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

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#28
Nov 1, 2012
 
Anyhow, going back to the letter, SOMEBODY is messed up regarding what is appropriate dress. Semiformal would indicate number three on both mine and Tonka's polls to me.

But saying that his wife needs a full-length gown, that's white tie. That's high formal.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#29
Nov 1, 2012
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Since you and the dog are of one mind today....
POLL TIME!
Weddings and funerals. Are they events that
1) require a suit & tie
2) require at at least a jacket and dress shirt
3) Phil Collins Style - No Jacket required, but still need long sleeve shirt and a tie
4) Dressy short sleeves will do
5) No rules. Come as you are.
I'm at 3.5. I say 3, but lean towards 4 depending on the weather. It gets hot down in Fla. I ain't wearing long sleeves to no outdoor event unless it is 100% required.
I believe #1.

If you show up dressed #2 style, you look like you forgot your tie.

#3 looks like a high school kid who doesn't know he should wear a jacket.

#4 you look like the bus boy

#5 is not appropriate at all unless you usually dress in #1 style.

That just my opinion. I know people show up in all kinds of attire and I don't think any less of them. I think they just don't realize or never learned appropriate attire.

But I'm old fashioned, too.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#30
Nov 1, 2012
 
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, you're talking guys here. For women, I'd put it at:
1) require full evening gown/ball gown (white tie event)
2) require cocktail dress or evening gown (black tie event)
3) require a dress
4) require a dressy outfit (pants suits and the like allowed)
5) no rules.
I fall at about 3.5 for funerals. I'd most likely wear a dress, but that's because my dark, muted clothing is more likely to be dresses.
Weddings fall at 3 or 2 for me--depending on the couple and the time of day. If I was told a wedding was a 1, I'd probably not show up.
Women have it different. There are dresses that could be used when you're being extremely casual. Material, style, etc. makes a difference -- and accessories and the all important shoes!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#31
Nov 1, 2012
 
Toj wrote:
But I'm old fashioned, too.
I do think the world(at least this country), for better or for worse, is sliding more and more away from formal and toward casual. As I mentioned, looking at my wedding pictures, other than the people IN the wedding, the only people I saw in suits/jackets were my parents' generation and older. I was 30 at the time. The weddings I have been to and not been in the wedding party, I have never worn even a jacket. Also keep in mind, a number of the weddings I have attended have been outdoors (botanical garden, lakeshore, beach). Double layered in long sleeves in the heat is just not happening.

Additionally, my wife has pointed out that over the years, "formal night" on the cruise ships is getting less so. They tell you what nights they expect that type of attire in the dining room, but its not like they kick anyone out who does not meet the standard, and with each passing year, it seems more and more people don't meet the standard.
Sam I Am

Cedar Grove, TN

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#32
Nov 1, 2012
 

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Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I believe #1.
If you show up dressed #2 style, you look like you forgot your tie.
#3 looks like a high school kid who doesn't know he should wear a jacket.
#4 you look like the bus boy
#5 is not appropriate at all unless you usually dress in #1 style.
That just my opinion. I know people show up in all kinds of attire and I don't think any less of them. I think they just don't realize or never learned appropriate attire.
But I'm old fashioned, too.
Agreed. It is better to be over-dressed than under. And just in general a man who knows how to dress well gets bonus points. My bf goes to a tailor for custom suits and they look amazing on him.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

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#33
Nov 1, 2012
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for doing the female translation, pde!
Since I pretty much only wear dresses/skirts, it just depends on how dressy the event is. Last wedding we attened was during the day, so it was a firm 3. But a funeral is would probably fall in the 2 to 3 range, depending on my relationship with the deceased.
I think if I was invited to an event that required anything more, I'd try to get out of it. I hate shopping for fancy stuff - too expensive.
As I said, I own one dress that could pull off #1. And it's a little dated, so I'd probably want to go purchase a new one. It better be a darn important event to be worth spending that much money on a dress.

I like cocktail dress types and own far too many of them. So I can pull off a #2 event pretty easily.

Any of the dresses I'm willing to wear to work can pull off #3.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#34
Nov 1, 2012
 
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, you're talking guys here. For women, I'd put it at:
1) require full evening gown/ball gown (white tie event)
2) require cocktail dress or evening gown (black tie event)
3) require a dress
4) require a dressy outfit (pants suits and the like allowed)
5) no rules.
I fall at about 3.5 for funerals. I'd most likely wear a dress, but that's because my dark, muted clothing is more likely to be dresses.
Weddings fall at 3 or 2 for me--depending on the couple and the time of day. If I was told a wedding was a 1, I'd probably not show up.
Pants for fall/winter/spring weddings/funerals. Casual dress/skirt for summer.

My new work area actually has a nice holiday party at a banquet room and I was kind of excited because I thought it would be fun for J and I to dress up. Nope. "Jeans are fine." Damn. I'm not going overdressed.

The night after that, we have our Bunco girls holiday party and we wear pajamas for that. Can't wait! Probably will splurge and get a new set for that.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#35
Nov 1, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Formal = tux
Semi-formal = dark suit
What about nice dress pants, button down shirt, maybe even a tie? To me, that's nice clothes, but it would not fly at a semi-formal event.
<quoted text> So I ask again, is a suit and tie the only thing you consioder to be "nice clothes"? I have been to many a Christmas & thanksgiving celebration and never seen a person wear a suit.
LW does not have semi-formal wear. That does not mean no nice clothes.
You're hung up on this suit business. For me, a jacket and tie qualifies as "semi formal." I don't know why you think that wouldn't be appropriate for a wedding reception.

Since: Jan 10

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#36
Nov 1, 2012
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'll agree they were *around* fifty, but there's nothing to indicate they all died *by* age fifty.
Sure there is. The oldest kid died around age 50, the others died before him.

Since: Jan 10

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#37
Nov 1, 2012
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Formal = tux
Semi-formal = dark suit
What about nice dress pants, button down shirt, maybe even a tie? To me, that's nice clothes, but it would not fly at a semi-formal event.
<quoted text> So I ask again, is a suit and tie the only thing you consioder to be "nice clothes"? I have been to many a Christmas & thanksgiving celebration and never seen a person wear a suit.
LW does not have semi-formal wear. That does not mean no nice clothes.
Technically, formal = WHITE TAILS, semi-formal = black tux.

Nick's not buying or renting a tux for someone's wedding unless he's IN it. It's just not gonna happen.

Since: Jan 10

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#38
Nov 1, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I do think the world(at least this country), for better or for worse, is sliding more and more away from formal and toward casual.
I just read this week that the same thing has happened with home design. We used to have two living rooms -- a formal one for when company came over, no TV, and another one -- a family room, with comfy furniture, TV, etc. Most new homes aren't being designed that way anymore.

Since: Jan 10

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#39
Nov 1, 2012
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
You're hung up on this suit business. For me, a jacket and tie qualifies as "semi formal." I don't know why you think that wouldn't be appropriate for a wedding reception.
It's not semi-formal. Tux = semi-formal.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#40
Nov 1, 2012
 
Who DARES to challenge the wisdom of my edicts?

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