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21 - 40 of 52 Comments Last updated Feb 28, 2013

Since: Aug 08

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#22
Feb 26, 2013
 
LW1: Nope! Amy is an idiot.

LW2: Just drop her as a friend.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#23
Feb 26, 2013
 
LW1: There are hard lessons here. One is that when you allow yourself to be alone with a guy, you are vulnerable. Two is that you must say "STOP" out loud and mean it, or you will have a hard time convincing people that you were raped.

LW2: My sincere condolences on the loss of your infant daughter. It is extremely difficult to lose a child. When you feel ready and are in a calm frame of mind, call your friend and tell her how you feel. I think that she will tell you that she loves the name and that she had no idea that it would bother you.(Try not to explode when she tells you this.) People can be amazingly dense.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#24
Feb 26, 2013
 

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VAdame wrote:
My inlaws lost a baby son, Douglas, to SIDS back in the early 1950s. To this day NO ONE in the family has named a baby Douglas. Unfortunate, it goes well with our last name, but that's the way it is in that family. LIVING family members, OTOH, have kids named for them all over the place -- there are generations of Evelyns, Herberts, Keiths, Terrys, etc...
Conversely, my first husband's family re-used names of deceased babies all the time. My ex-MIL had 2 brothers named Dominic and 2 brothers named Eli. Dominic I and Eli I died over in Italy and the parents reused the name for sons born later over here in the states -- and when I found out about this, I thought it was VERY creepy. Apparently they felt differently. By the way, there are Dominics and Elis all over the next few generations, including my dear grandson Eli.
My mom's cousin traced our Dutch ancestry back to the 1700s or so, and they used to re-use names within the same family over and over. Yanno, since they'd have like 15 babies and three of them would reach puberty. Baby girl A would die shortly after birth, the next year, they'd have another baby A, that one would live a year or so, die, then the next baby would have the same name.

Creepy and sad at the same time. I don't know how people functioned with that much loss in their lives.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#25
Feb 26, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm not suggesting everyone should. But 9 years later she's upset that a friend decided on that name? What if it was some common name like Mary or Susan? What if the name has nothing to do with the lw and her baby? Nobody has "rights" to any name. Sounds like the lw has a woe is me complex and looking for offense.
Everyone I know who lost a child, whether it be in infancy or later, was brought to their knees for a very long time by the loss. 9 years may be a reasonable span of time for some, but I know at least 4 families that would have the same reaction as the LW longer than 9 years after. Her friend was wrong to do this.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#26
Feb 26, 2013
 

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LW's daughter diied 9 years ago. That is an awfully long time to be this sensitive about use of a name. I think there is some work to be done there.

In the Jewish tradition, we don't have Jrs or III's, but it is considered an honor to name a baby after a deceased relative. I was named for my great grandma Pearl-my ame is not Pearl, btw.

My elder daughter is named for my husbands grandfather- he had one of those names that was given to boys and now s given to girls, like Vivian and Marion, neiether of which are her name, but you see what I mean. My FIL has nevr expressed any difficulty at having his granddaughter named teh same as his father.

Since: Aug 08

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#27
Feb 26, 2013
 

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PEllen wrote:
my [n]ame is not Pearl, btw.
I already know that, Opal.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#28
Feb 26, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
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I already know that, Opal.
It is not. It's Peridot.

Since: Aug 08

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#29
Feb 26, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
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It is not. It's Peridot.
Ha!

Since: Jul 10

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#30
Feb 26, 2013
 

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squishymama wrote:
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It is not. It's Peridot.
Either way, she's a real gem.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

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#31
Feb 26, 2013
 

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squishymama wrote:
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It is not. It's Peridot.
I thought it was Ruby...

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#32
Feb 26, 2013
 

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squishymama wrote:
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It is not. It's Peridot.
A pair of what?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#33
Feb 26, 2013
 

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Are you guys suggesting I am generally stoned?

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

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#34
Feb 26, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>

B) It's only been, what, a couple of years since you lost Chris? It takes time to heal.
It'll be three years in May.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

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#35
Feb 26, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
LW's daughter diied 9 years ago. That is an awfully long time to be this sensitive about use of a name. I think there is some work to be done there.
While I agree that she is very sensitive, I would like to state for the record that she will never, ever get over it. Since her BEST friend used the name, I think the friend is in the wrong. At the very least she should have asked. Friend might think she's honoring LWs daughter, but Friend can NOT understand how LW feels, no matter how much she *thinks* she does. Period. Full stop.

That said, I wouldn't hold someone to that same standard, but I can't say it wouldn't bother me.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#36
Feb 26, 2013
 

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Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>It'll be three years in May.
Wow, time flies.
I'm sorry.:(
Julie

Chicago, IL

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#37
Feb 26, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: YOU. WERE. NOT. RAPED. But you have a chance to learn a valuable lesson: Stand up for what you want and don't want. Use your words. Don't have sexual encounters with which you're not comfortable...Stop trashing this kid to all and sundry. STOP. RIGHT. NOW. He did NOTHING wrong. The cops will do nothing because no crime was committed.
This, 1000x.
This is possibly Amy's worst, most potentially damaging advice ever. Incompetent moron.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

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#38
Feb 26, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
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Wow, time flies.
I'm sorry.:(
Thanks. And, yeah, it does...

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#39
Feb 26, 2013
 

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Mimi Seattle wrote:
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It'll be three years in May.
But he lives on here because you write about the bits of his life and we talk about him and you use his picture as an avatar occasionally.
We miss him with you and I think you know that.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#40
Feb 26, 2013
 
Julie wrote:
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This, 1000x.
This is possibly Amy's worst, most potentially damaging advice ever. Incompetent moron.
I tend to agree with you.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#41
Feb 26, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>But he lives on here because you write about the bits of his life and we talk about him and you use his picture as an avatar occasionally.
We miss him with you and I think you know that.
Love this. Especially the last sentence.

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