Abby 11-13

[Andie J]

AFTER-DARK VISITOR NEXT DOOR RAISES NEIGHBOR'S SUSPICIONS

DEAR ABBY: My neighbors, "John" and "Marcia," are such a nice couple, I'm not sure what to do. I don't know them all that well, but what's going on is extremely upsetting.
On several occasions, I have seen a woman park her car near my home after dark and walk to the back door of their house. About an hour later, I see John let her out the front door. He even has the nerve to kiss her goodbye right on the front porch! I'm sure he is slipping this tart in for sex -- right under his wife's nose.

I want to tell Marcia what's going on, but I'm unsure how to go about it. I have contemplated just going over, knocking on the door and blurting it out. I have also considered writing her an anonymous letter. What's the right way to let someone know that her husband is cheating on her in her own house while she's there?-- NOT NOSY, JUST CONCERNED, NEW CUMBERLAND, PA.

DEAR NOT NOSY: I strongly recommend that you mind your own business and do nothing. If there was any hanky-panky going on, I seriously doubt that John would be indulging in it while his wife was in the house -- and kissing his illicit lover goodbye on their doorstep, yet. The woman may be a relative -- a sister, cousin or daughter -- so please do not embarrass yourself.

P.S. When someone is overly preoccupied with the sex life of a neighbor, it isn't "concern." It IS nosy, so please get a life.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 79-year-old recent widow. Shortly after I was married I had a brief, intense affair with a man at work. I'll call him "Earl."

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Earl's wife, "Lillian," was in her third trimester of pregnancy and he was needy. We fell hopelessly in love and our affair continued after his baby was born. We were happy together and nothing else seemed to matter.
Somehow Lillian found out and left him. The divorce she said she'd seek would have solved our problems because I would have immediately divorced my husband, but it never happened. She still loved him, and he decided to do the "honorable thing" and reconcile with her. We swore we would love each other forever, no matter what.

Earl and Lillian moved to a city 50 miles from here and we had no further contact. My husband forgave me, and we had a good life and three children.

A friend kept me informed about Earl -- where he was and what he was doing. She told me he has spent his life making up to Lillian for his "indiscretion" and treating her like a queen. She is now in a nursing home suffering with Alzheimer's. She no longer knows Earl, but he goes to see her every day.

Would it be wrong of me to get in touch with him to sympathize? I still love him. Perhaps he loves me, too. We are both old and lonely.-- HOPING FOR MORE

DEAR HOPING: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your husband, but offering "sympathy" to Earl right now would not be a good idea. If your informant is correct, he has not only spent his life making amends to his wife for the affair, but he is still in love with her.

It would not be out of line to ask your friend to let Earl know that you are recently widowed, but don't hold your breath waiting for him to renew the romance. He has an important commitment he needs to see through to the end. And if you love him, you'll let him do it.

[Andie J]

L1- You're nosy.
L2- You're nosier.

[Andie J]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

[I Like Tonka]

what andie said

[Detroit Daria]

LW1--As Abby said, Get a life!

LW2--You're not in love. You're grieving and lonely. LEave Earl in the past.

[j_m_w]

Abby did a good job on both of these.

I'm going to check out today's Amy but we may need a Q of the Day or something else to talk about if her column is as cut and dry as this one.

[AngelaMN]

L1: "I'm sure he is slipping this tart in for sex -- right under his wife's nose." You're sure of nothing. Have you ever heard of "threesomes"?

L2: Contact Earl. He was willing to step out on his wife back then, he's probably willing to do so again.

[Mcfixer]

LW1:
Wind you're friggin' neck in!! Who either of them invites as aguest into their home, and for what purpose is nothing to do with you. Get your own life.
Good response Abby.

LW2:
Hmmmm, If remember correctly, didn't Earl have to die? I thought the Dixie Chicks took care of him.
You need to let your fantasy go the same way.

Earl has one sick woman to contend with. He doesn't need another.

[RACE]

LW1 Sorry abby, but if its a harmless thing, then why is she parking down the road? I usally park in the driveway of the people I visit. Why does she enter thru the back door and exit thru the front? I think the neighbor need to get more information. Perhaps she could sneak over to the neighbors yard, at the very least get a pair of binoculars and one of those sound things. There is a mystery here and it needs to be solved!

LW2 Your a horny old lady. You dont want to sympathize you want to rock his world and shake the plaster off the walls.

[Bee]

L1: Lol. Go Abby

L2: Wow, even at 79 you're still a slut

[TamoraRose]

Mcfixer wrote:

Earl has one sick woman to contend with. He doesn't need another.

Perfectly put.

[AngelaMN]

RACE wrote:

LW1 Sorry abby, but if its a harmless thing, then why is she parking down the road? I usally park in the driveway of the people I visit. Why does she enter thru the back door and exit thru the front? I think the neighbor need to get more information. Perhaps she could sneak over to the neighbors yard, at the very least get a pair of binoculars and one of those sound things. There is a mystery here and it needs to be solved!
LW2 Your a horny old lady. You dont want to sympathize you want to rock his world and shake the plaster off the walls.

The letter writer seems to live next door to the offending neighbors. Their visitor parks near her house, but that's only one house away!

And many neighborhoods don't have driveways. St. Paul and Minneapolis have lots of alleys -- in fact, I'd say that most of Minneapolis is on the alley system, rather than having driveways.

[RACE]

So your basically saying that Minneapolis is built backasswards.

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text>
The letter writer seems to live next door to the offending neighbors. Their visitor parks near her house, but that's only one house away!
And many neighborhoods don't have driveways. St. Paul and Minneapolis have lots of alleys -- in fact, I'd say that most of Minneapolis is on the alley system, rather than having driveways.

[domini]

RACE wrote:

So your basically saying that Minneapolis is built backasswards.
<quoted text>

COumbus Ohio was the same way. Before cars, people in the cities did not need driveways.

[Andie J]

Mcfixer wrote:

LW2:
Hmmmm, If remember correctly, didn't Earl have to die? I thought the Dixie Chicks took care of him.
You need to let your fantasy go the same way.
Earl has one sick woman to contend with. He doesn't need another.

Thanks for the laugh!

[Andie J]

domini wrote:

<quoted text>
COumbus Ohio was the same way. Before cars, people in the cities did not need driveways.

Most of the older neighborhoods in Chicago don't have driveways. The alley system there, too.

[Terri at home]

L1: I say MYOB. BUT -- I think she'll end up "accidentally" bumping into the woman on her way to the back door to try to find out the scoop.

L2: This woman is pathetic.

[NWmoon]

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text>
The letter writer seems to live next door to the offending neighbors. Their visitor parks near her house, but that's only one house away!
And many neighborhoods don't have driveways. St. Paul and Minneapolis have lots of alleys -- in fact, I'd say that most of Minneapolis is on the alley system, rather than having driveways.

People visiting our next door neighbors (either side) or even the ones across the street often park in front of our house.
I've lived places where parking in the street would be unusual, but more where it's the norm. More than 20 addresses since moving from my parents' home. That's why I don't want to have to EVER do it again.

[j_m_w]

NWmoon wrote:

<quoted text>People visiting our next door neighbors (either side) or even the ones across the street often park in front of our house.
I've lived places where parking in the street would be unusual, but more where it's the norm. More than 20 addresses since moving from my parents' home. That's why I don't want to have to EVER do it again.

Wow, that's even more than me! I've had 8 addresses since my parents' home (not counting it) and I've moved no less frequently than every two years. I'm 32.

[I Like Tonka]

j_m_w wrote:

<quoted text>
Wow, that's even more than me! I've had 8 addresses since my parents' home (not counting it) and I've moved no less frequently than every two years. I'm 32.

Just decided to count. I've got you beat too. 14 places by the time I was 30(still at #14 for the past 8 years)