Abby 7/28

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dahgts

Chicago Heights, IL

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#1
Jul 28, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: My daughter was married recently and has been sending out her thank-you notes. When she checked her registry to determine if all her gifts had been accounted for, she saw that her stepbrother and his wife purchased a gift, but it was not mailed by the department store.

We're assuming that it was brought to the wedding, but it's nowhere to be found. How can we resolve this delicate situation? She wants to tell her sister-in-law, but she is concerned it might have been an oversight and be embarrassing. She plans to contact the wedding venue, but it has been three weeks and you'd think if something had been left behind that they would have contacted her. We are also going to check with the friends who packed up the cars. Any other ideas?-- STEVE IN FLORIDA

DEAR STEVE: Because your daughter knows a gift was purchased by her stepbrother and his wife, she should ask them how it was to be delivered because it might have been lost en route. Such things have been known to happen, which is why it is always wise to request that a merchant provide proof of delivery. That way the recipient signs for the package, and everyone is assured it didn't "fall off the truck."

I doubt the stepbrother and his wife, having gone to the expense of buying something, would have forgotten to give it to your daughter. I also doubt the couple who packed up the gifts would have overlooked one. As to the venue where the wedding was held, one would think that if a package had been left behind they would contact the family that rented the place, if only to protect their reputation.
DEAR ABBY: We recently moved to another neighborhood. Most of the residents are elderly. Our closest neighbors are a very nice couple in their 70s. We've gotten along well, but a problem has arisen and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I am a keen do-it-yourself enthusiast. When I get home from work at 2 p.m., I love to go into my workshop and work on one of the many projects I always have going. I'll do this for a couple of hours until my wife and kids get home. I admit, it probably gets a bit noisy with all the power tools, hammers, etc., and I usually leave the door open to let some air in.

My neighbor approached me today and told me his wife usually naps from 2 to 4 every afternoon, and the noise I make is disturbing her. Until he told me that, I had no idea their downstairs bedroom is only a few feet from our communal fence.(My workshop is right up against the fence.)

Would it be rude to suggest she find another time to nap or maybe sleep in another room? I can't imagine having to sit around and waste time every afternoon waiting for her to finish her nap, especially since she has most of the day to nap while I'm at work. This doesn't seem fair to me. My wife thinks I'm being a bit hard, so we agreed to accept your opinion on this.-- D.I.Y. GUY

DEAR D.I.Y. GUY: I'm pretty sure your neighbor's wife takes her naps at the time of day when she needs one, and she would be unable to adjust her sleep schedule to accommodate you. However, your idea of suggesting she try sleeping in another part of the house so she won't be disturbed is a good one.

Or you might agree to a compromise so she starts her mid-day rest period a little earlier, and you start your projects a little later. That way you would both get what you need.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#2
Jul 28, 2013
 

Judged:

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L1 Okay. Good idea.
L2 I am conflicted about this. LW is entitled to use his house as he sees fit and using tools during daytime is a perfectly good time and place to use them. If he did so between say 10 pm and 1 am there would be valid complaints and probably noise ordinances.

OTOH the old lady wants her nap. I wonder what she does when someone mows the grass mid afternoon of if kids play.

It is good to be on good terms with your neighbors. Offer her ea plugs, noise cancelling headphones and plant some thick evergreens by the fence as a sound buffer.

If I were in the old lady's position, I would be offended if someone told me to change rooms in which I sleep.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#3
Jul 28, 2013
 
1: Good grief. How do people get anything done in life when they are so afraid to ask simple questions for fear of another's reaction? Man. Annoys me.

2: I'm torn, too. I wear earplugs or noise-reduction headphones every.flaming.day in my house because I cannot stand the sound of cars, kids screaming, lawnmowers, etc.
I can't ask them not to do things that aren't illegal at decent hours, so the onus is on me.
I think the onus is on the old lady, whose hearing needs to start going, lol. JK Earplugs.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

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#4
Jul 28, 2013
 

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LW1 needs to stop making Floridians look like they
beat around the bush and let his daughter work this
out with her step brother. They all seem big enough to take care of themselves.

LW2 can give himself a rest break during the times this neighbor has told him quiet would be appreciated.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#5
Jul 28, 2013
 

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PEllen wrote:
If I were in the old lady's position, I would be offended if someone told me to change rooms in which I sleep.
Wouldn't it depend largely on how the option is suggested?

Neighbor: Well, that's the only time I have to work in my garage, so you'll need to sleep in another room.

vs.

Neighbor: I'm so sorry that I've been ruining your nap. I'd like to help, but the problem is, that's really the only time I have to get stuff done out there before the kids het home. Is there any way you could nap a little earlier or maybe in another room? I don't know what I can do other than just not get anything done and I'd really rather not effectively waste 10 hours a week that I could be getting stuff done.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#6
Jul 28, 2013
 
boundary painter wrote:
LW2 can give himself a rest break during the times this neighbor has told him quiet would be appreciated.
He gets home at 2. She sleeps from 2 to 4.(1)That really can't be considered a break if he can't even start.(2)Guessing the wife gets home a little after 5pm. That effectively cuts out about 2/3 of his free time.
Timmy

Daytona Beach, FL

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#7
Jul 28, 2013
 
How about the guy close his garage door and get a fan if he needs air.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Wouldn't it depend largely on how the option is suggested?
Neighbor: Well, that's the only time I have to work in my garage, so you'll need to sleep in another room.
vs.
Neighbor: I'm so sorry that I've been ruining your nap. I'd like to help, but the problem is, that's really the only time I have to get stuff done out there before the kids het home. Is there any way you could nap a little earlier or maybe in another room? I don't know what I can do other than just not get anything done and I'd really rather not effectively waste 10 hours a week that I could be getting stuff done.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#8
Jul 28, 2013
 

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Timmy wrote:
How about the guy close his garage door and get a fan if he needs air.
<quoted text>
Perhaps that may be a viable option in a colder climate, but there is no way in hell I'm working for even 5 minutes in my Central Florida garage with only a fan to circulate the already stifling hot air. It would probably be more comfotable to actually work in hell sitting next to Satan himself

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