Comments
1 - 15 of 15 Comments Last updated Jul 25, 2013

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Jul 25, 2013
DEAR ABBY:I take issue with your answer to "Needs the Right Words" (March 17). He asked about his son and his son's half-brother visiting his beach house.(He didn't want the half-brother included.)

While you addressed the writer's needs, and yes, he is entitled to his feelings, I think you should have taken this a step further.

Once you become a father, it is not all about "you" anymore. The 12-year-old boy is now, and forever will be, his son's half-brother. Unless this man wants to distance himself from his son and cause permanent damage to their relationship, he needs to get some therapy so he will be able to think of that boy in a different way and can deal with him in the future. He is not in a "good place" as he stated if seeing this boy causes such an emotional issue. The two boys seem to have a good relationship, and a future with his son will -- and should -- include the half-brother, even if the visits are short ones.

Someday that boy will be a grown man, and he will recognize the kindness shown to him. The boy is not responsible for his mother's behavior and the father needs to realize that.-- DEBORAH IN CHANDLER, ARIZ.

DEAR DEBORAH: You are right. It would have been better for all concerned if I had been harder on the father and more sensitive to the feelings of the boys involved, which many readers pointed out to me:

DEAR ABBY: I almost always agree with your answers, but your answer to that letter was off the mark. It's admirable that his son has such a close relationship with his half-brother, and not allowing the boys to do something they enjoy together for a weekend is wrong. That the writer admits he still has problems with the past is his problem, not the kids'.

Since he admits it brings up feelings he thought he had put behind him, he should get professional help to finally deal with those unresolved issues. Also, if he doesn't want the 12-year-old in his house for one weekend of fun, then he should take his wife away for a romantic weekend and let the boys use the beach house in his absence. It's all about compromise, not the ultimatum.-- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT IN KANSAS

DEAR ABBY: Tell that man to get a psychotherapist! The child isn't responsible for his mother's behavior. The man needs to expand his heart. When he's an old man he will never regret hosting the boy, but he would regret having hurt a child and perhaps alienating his own son in the process. You called that one wrong, Abby!-- LESLIE R., CHAMPAIGN, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: I agree with your advice more often than not, although I suspect we are at opposite ends of the political spectrum. That father needs to grow up and put the feelings of his son and his son's half-brother before his own. It's time people learned once more what it means not to be selfish and think of their own feelings, but the feelings of others. Please reconsider your response.-- PAUL W., JOHNSON CITY, TENN.

DEAR PAUL: I have, and I regret my initial answer

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#2 Jul 25, 2013
I wish I remembered the original letter. Oh well. Q of the Day, anyone?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Jul 25, 2013
As I live and breathe....

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Jul 25, 2013
Is vaginal odor really a big problem for women?
j_m_w wrote:
I wish I remembered the original letter. Oh well. Q of the Day, anyone?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#5 Jul 25, 2013
Here's a question:

What was your best day so far in your life (besides kids being born, getting married, or (heh) getting divorced) and why?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#6 Jul 25, 2013
I like my question better.
Toj wrote:
Here's a question:
What was your best day so far in your life (besides kids being born, getting married, or (heh) getting divorced) and why?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#7 Jul 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
I like my question better.
<quoted text>
Well, I was thinking that question was more for the boys b/c they have their noses in there more so than the ladies, I would think.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Jul 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
Is vaginal odor really a big problem for women?
<quoted text>
You really want to go there? Because my answer will not be pretty.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#9 Jul 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
Is vaginal odor really a big problem for women?
<quoted text>
Yes! I broke up with a girl I was close to marrying for this very reason.

Glad I shared, now I feel better.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#10 Jul 25, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, I was thinking that question was more for the boys b/c they have their noses in there more so than the ladies, I would think.
HA! Touche!

I was thinking yeah, it's not a problem for ME, but I certainly don't sit around with groups of women discussing it so I have no idea if it's a problem in general.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#11 Jul 25, 2013
I saw a commercial about it. Lady sitting at her desk, suddenly realizes she smells like a yeast farm right before her big meeting.

j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
HA! Touche!
I was thinking yeah, it's not a problem for ME, but I certainly don't sit around with groups of women discussing it so I have no idea if it's a problem in general.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#12 Jul 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
I saw a commercial about it. Lady sitting at her desk, suddenly realizes she smells like a yeast farm right before her big meeting.
<quoted text>
Effing gross.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Jul 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
I saw a commercial about it. Lady sitting at her desk, suddenly realizes she smells like a yeast farm right before her big meeting.
<quoted text>
And what did the advertisement suggest she do about before she went into her big meeting? Its not like the the convenience stores in the lobbies of high rise office buildings usually stock single serve douche bottles.

Slight tangent: In college our mail boxes were stuffed with ads for some douche product that came in several different flavors. Flavors? That was a big hit around the table in the Snack Bar U of IL, Champaign 1968-69).

Same time frame when, if you signed up to be on a mailing list, they added your "title". I may still have some junk mail addressed to P.Ellen, Stud.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#14 Jul 25, 2013
Not sure, my brain kinda goes fuzzy about the rest of the commercial. It comes back where she is smiling at the end.
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>And what did the advertisement suggest she do about before she went into her big meeting? Its not like the the convenience stores in the lobbies of high rise office buildings usually stock single serve douche bottles.
Slight tangent: In college our mail boxes were stuffed with ads for some douche product that came in several different flavors. Flavors? That was a big hit around the table in the Snack Bar U of IL, Champaign 1968-69).
Same time frame when, if you signed up to be on a mailing list, they added your "title". I may still have some junk mail addressed to P.Ellen, Stud.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#15 Jul 25, 2013
RACE wrote:
Is vaginal odor really a big problem for women?
<quoted text>
No, because there are two layers of thick clothing over that area and I bathe daily. Also, noses are up here and my vag is down there.

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