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Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#21 Feb 11, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
L2- Either get the feck out NOW, or at least make sure your will is up to date, your health insurance paid up, and keep 911 on speed dial. Sooner or later you'll need one or all three of them.
Bingo. This guiy IS an abuser waiting to happen. Once she caveson his demands, hitting her is the next step.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#22 Feb 11, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW1: If you cancel this family-planned wedding, even if you give all the money back, your family will be pissed at you for like, forever. If you go through with the wedding as planned that you don't want, you'll be pissed at yourself for like, forever.
Exactly! The family is close and they have been looking forward to this wedding, too. Compromise is the answer. Everyone will get something they want, but nobody will get everything they want. I think LW and her fiance need to talk about what they are willing to compromise about and what they absolutely do NOT want and tell the LW's parents that they WILL elope or plan their own, simple wedding if they cannot reach a compromise. For example, they wanted a shortened ceremony, so the full mass is not negotiable. LW is able to compromise and chooses a dress that both her and her mother like. LW gets to include the attendants of her choice. At the reception, include songs that please the family as well as the bride and groom. LW, state your terms and show that you are willing to compromise and see where you can get with your family. If they insist on being hard-nosed, cancel the big wedding, go to Hawaii, and get married on the beach.

LW2: Oh heeeeeellllll no! You cannot be serious! Get.Out.NOW!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#23 Feb 11, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with this on a certain level, but I feel like this family has been running her life since well before the wedding, and will continue to do so. They picked out her DRESS?
This is a family that will be telling her what to name her babies.
My family is a little like the LW's, but thankfully not so bad!

My mom/step-dad paid for my first wedding and I let her make a lot of the decisions, mostly because it did not matter to me and it did to her. If I had tried to buy a dress that she did not like, I would have been told to change my mind. Thankfully we found one that we both liked.

But I know that if I had tried to change my mind in the middle of all the planning, even if I could have repaid any non-refundable deposits, I would have been in for hell. For a long time. It just didn't seem worth it and I suspect that's where the LW is.

And my coping strategy with my family has always been to do what I wanted to *without* telling anyone and then do what they wanted me to do to keep the peace.

But I have my limits. Nunu was born the day after my mom's birthday and she said that if N had been born on her birthday, she would have expected the girl to be named after her in some way.

Ha! Nope, wasn't happening. We'd had her name picked out for months.
dahgts

Hickory Hills, IL

#24 Feb 11, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
3- If you raised a fat kid, you've failed.
You're an azz.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Des Plaines, IL

#25 Feb 11, 2013
LW1 - i don;t think the church would let them have a full catholic mass for their wedding if one of them wasn't catholic. i was told that a wedding is about inclusion and a full mass would exclude one of them...
Julie

Chicago, IL

#26 Feb 12, 2013
LW1: Your family is a controlling nightmare. Of course, you're *allowing* them to control you. Grow up, honey. AFAIC, you sound far too immature/spineless to get married at all. Good luck to your fiance/husband--he's going to need it, because your family is going to control you--and him--for the rest of your lives.

LW2: "My boyfriend...is trying to control who I talk to, text, have lunch with and am friends with. He has added anyone I've spent a lot of time with (friends and ex-boyfriends) to the "no contact" list. He is limiting contact I have with a good girlfriend because he is jealous of the time I spend with her...My boyfriend holds my past against me in every fight. Any time I talk to anyone on the no-contact list, we get in a big fight, and he brings it up over and over. He creeps through my phone, email and Facebook page, and insists I erase certain people. Recently during a fight, he went and slept with his most recent ex, saying he felt we were "on a break," so it didn't count. Now he wants me to forgive him, saying I drove him to do it."

"I don't know what to do. Aside from the jealousy thing, he is a great boyfriend."

Congratulations, Letter Writer--you have immediately vaulted to a Top 5 position on Lamy's ALL-TIME STOOOOPID List. Please don't breed with your *incredibly abusive* boyfriend...or with anyone else. The world will be a better place without your dmbass genes. JEBUS.

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