“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Jul 29, 2014
DEAR ABBY: In short, my son is a klutz -- to the point that it affects his self-confidence. He's different from everyone else in the family.

Is being a klutz genetic? Is it permanent? He's not doing well academically, either. How can I help him?-- PARENT WHO CARES

DEAR PARENT: One way to help your son would be to stop other family members from making fun of him and labeling him as a klutz. When people laugh and ridicule others, it makes them only more self-conscious and more clumsy.

Another way to help would be to have him examined by an ophthalmologist and a neurologist. His problem may be poor depth perception or a neurological or balance issue. And while you're at it, consider having him evaluated for a learning disability, which may be the cause of his academic difficulties.

DEAR ABBY: I have a pet peeve. I hate it when people ask to "try my meal" or to have a taste, especially when I haven't had one myself. When I say no, my boyfriend calls me selfish. If we're with friends, I feel obligated to say yes to avoid appearing rude.

I seldom trade bites with my boyfriend because I don't eat meat and he usually orders something I don't want. Some nights we cook our own separate meals, and he still asks to try mine (even though he's a better cook than I am).

Abby, how can I say no without looking or feeling selfish and rude? I just want to enjoy my entire meal without hearing, "Can I have a bite?" -- PET PEEVE IN PORTLAND

DEAR PET PEEVE: Many people regard sharing food to be an act of intimacy. Because it makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do is say, "I'd prefer not to." If these folks are friends, they must know how you feel about this by now. And as for your boyfriend, I can't help but wonder why he would persist in doing something that he knows annoys you unless he's doing it to tease you.

DEAR ABBY: Are night owls born or raised to stay up late? Can a night owl successfully become a morning lark?-- TIRED NIGHT OWL IN OTTAWA

DEAR TIRED NIGHT OWL: Night owls are usually born that way, but the pattern can be changed. If it creates problems for you, you may have a condition called "delayed sleep phase disorder." The most effective way to find out if this is your problem would be to consult a sleep (disorder) specialist. Therapies are available, and a specialist can help you determine which one would be the best for you.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Jul 29, 2014
1 Yes, take your kid to the doctor....What a concept

2 Oh, for the love....Just set a bite aside for when he asks and quityerbitching!

3 No, your hopeless, get a cape and some night vision goggles and become a crime fighter.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Jul 29, 2014
Lw2: Your bf is right. You ARE greedy. Fringe benefit of being in a relationship is getting to taste something more than what you ordered. I almost never order same meal ad my wife. And sometimes, if we both like what the other ordered, we'll eat half a meal then switch plates. Greedy wench. Look at the joy you are depriving him of!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Jul 29, 2014
Lw3: Race and amby have it wrong. Lw is not the night owl. Lw had got to be the PITA trying to figure out how to change their bf/gf/wife/husband to have the same sleep habit as them

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Jul 29, 2014
Tonka has it wrong.
the lw signed
-- TIRED NIGHT OWL IN OTTAWA
not
-- TIRED *OF* NIGHT OWL IN OTTAWA
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw3: Race and amby have it wrong. Lw is not the night owl. Lw had got to be the PITA trying to figure out how to change their bf/gf/wife/husband to have the same sleep habit as them

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Jul 29, 2014
LW1: Get him involved in some type of sport to help learn better coordination.

I think it takes some time to grow into one’s body too. I was so much more athletic and coordinated by the time I was 16 or 17 than I was when I was 12. I think that is true for a lot if not most kids.

LW2: I find that kind of annoying too. I don’t ask people to try their food. Still, if it is your SO, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Lighten up.

LW3: Sleep patterns can sometimes change over time.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Jul 29, 2014
RACE wrote:
Tonka has it wrong.
the lw signed
-- TIRED NIGHT OWL IN OTTAWAū
not
-- TIRED *OF* NIGHT OWL IN OTTAWA
<quoted text>
oops

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#8 Jul 29, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: Get him involved in some type of sport to help learn better coordination.
I think it takes some time to grow into one’s body too. I was so much more athletic and coordinated by the time I was 16 or 17 than I was when I was 12. I think that is true for a lot if not most kids.
LW2: I find that kind of annoying too. I don’t ask people to try their food. Still, if it is your SO, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Lighten up.
LW3: Sleep patterns can sometimes change over time.
lw2: i agree with regard to non-SO's. I woild not ask for a bite of anyone else's food and feel weird when people offer a bite of something on their plate.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Houston, TX

#9 Jul 29, 2014
2- take a bite out of this, lady

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10 Jul 29, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
2- take a bite out of this, lady
Bambi and I were playfully bickering about something.

She said, don't put things (she meant words) in my mouth.

I said, uhhh, I'll put something in your mouth.

She said, no, no you won't.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#11 Jul 29, 2014
LW1: I agree that he may have a vision problem or neurological problem, but if he does not, team Sublime. Get him into sports ASAP. Or just go to the park and play catch with him. With practice, he will develop better hand-eye coordination.

LW2: I'm always amazed by the petty things that bother some people. If this is the biggest problem you have, your life is awesome.

LW3: Happy night owl over here. Although I probably sleep less than a lot of people...

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Jul 29, 2014
L1: Sure, get him checked out -- vision, neurological, muscle... But I don't know about entering the kid into sports such as football, baseball, hockey. Might make him feel bad if he's this clutz that can't do it and he has no interest. Perhaps it would be better to put him in something like martial arts for coordination. I think that's an environment where how you treat others is also stressed.

L2: I don't like when other people just take your food off your plate but if you're a very close friend or relative then I shrug it off. I don't get offended and realize they do it b/c they feel that comfortable with you. That's not a bad thing.

The LW should try to go to more tapas places. Little individual servings might be better for the LW. At home serve family style.

L3: I believe people are born morning or night but you can change. You have to do it in little increments, though. I'm definitely a morning person but in my teens and twenties I trained myself to be a night owl. That's when all the fun took place!
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#13 Jul 29, 2014
1: Yes, have your son evaluated but stop treating him like a lesser human being as well. Kids are different from each other. This kid may seem less coordinated and less brilliant than your other kids but he may well surprise you with his capabilities if you give him a chance. There's more than one kind of intelligence (other than just the academic kind) but it seems some people just haven't learned that yet. DO make your other kids stop the teasing. Give them actual consequences if they continue to tease him. In other words, don't just use your words; make your actions speak as well. Do find out whether there's a medical caus

2: I wonder why sometimes advice columnists will come up with a compromise solution and other times not. It seems to me that it's possible that the bf might want to try the lw's food because he wants to know what it tastes like and whether he could become a vegetarian as well. The lw should ask whether he'd like to eat a vegetarian meal now and then and allow him to help choose the menu. He may have found that he likes some of the dishes she cooks. Allowing him to take a small taste of her food now and then is a way to educate him. Keeping that in mind, perhaps she could cook a bit more and set aside a small plate of the things she prepared so he won't eat off her plate. He in turn could offer a few of the things he makes that she can eat based on her vegetarian preference. I do agree though that no one should grab another person's food without asking and getting permission. The lw has every right to say no to such requests to anyone that asks. The compromise I'm presenting is for the bf only since there may be a future for them and he may desire to learn about the foods she prefers.

3: I didn't know there was a cure for my condition. I hate getting up in the morning and I prefer staying up late. I tell my family I'm on Alaska time. ;-)
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#14 Jul 29, 2014
Whoops, I was adding to my first comment and then got called away to the phone, then the laundry, then the cat.... When I got back to my computer, I forgot I hadn't finished and simply posted the incomplete comment.

Anyway, I was going to say the lw should make sure there's no medical reason for her son's clumsiness. MY m-i-l became clumsy for no apparent reason. She started bumping into things, knocking things over when attempting to pick them up, and fell several times. She finally went to see her doctor. I'm not sure whether he sent her to a specialist but in the end, it was found she had a tumor behind one eye that was affecting her vision. There are probably many more possible medical situations that could cause the child's problems but they won't know until they have it checked out.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#15 Jul 29, 2014
Glance into the future for LW1:
(a) Her differently abled son will shine in an area he does well with the
right mentorship
(b) With guidance from his teachers, she will learn how to refine her words that she pitches at him and how to encourage him rather than
close his ears.
(c) She will get some better i9deas from his father or another family
member who understands her son and has a knack for exhorting him
towards areas he does okay to well.
or
(d) other

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#16 Jul 29, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw2: Your bf is right. You ARE greedy. Fringe benefit of being in a relationship is getting to taste something more than what you ordered. I almost never order same meal ad my wife. And sometimes, if we both like what the other ordered, we'll eat half a meal then switch plates. Greedy wench. Look at the joy you are depriving him of!
Dixon and I often choose what we're going to order based on the idea that we'll share both dishes.

With really close friends, I've traded bites, but I wouldn't want to do it with every random with whom I share a meal, but... <mimishrug>.

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