Note that Sublime was the first one to mention lack of responsibility in this thread.<quoted text>This is complete bullshit. There are so many different ways this story could have gone that have nothing to do with irresponsibility on his part. Birth control fails. Birth control can be used incorrectly(woman on pill and taking antibiotics for instance).
-he knocked some chick up on a one night stand and SHE did not want to get married to him even though he wanted to "do the right thing"
-he knocked some chick up who never even told him(which is actually the case for one of the children. LW said he did not even know about the child)
-he knocked some chick up but it was a casual fling. Certainly not a relationship that was headed to marriage, and so even though there was no marriage proposal, she made the decision to keep the child as a single mother (its all her decision, right?). I mean isn't the general consensus that one does not get/stay married BECAUSE of children?
This guy is fulfilling his financial obligations, and for all we know, he fulfilled his role as a father as well(for the child he knew about). That aspect of things is not mentioned in any way in the letter.
I should have mentioned that had he been completely responsible throughout his life that there would be no need for BACK child support.
I do agree that you don't get or stay married because of children.
If a man chooses to have flings and one night stands with women he wouldn't consider marrying, then he needs to use good fresh condoms every time and also ask the women if they use any form of birth control. To do otherwise is irresponsible. We don't know what LW's guy did or did not do, but something went wrong twice. I don't judge him as harshly as LW does, but I'd be a bit wary of a man who is a two-time babydaddy. Again the bottom line for me is that he treats her with respect and love today and is also currently taking care of his children, at least in a financial sense. He may have lived and learned, so to speak.