Posted in the Chicago Forum
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#1 Aug 25, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My teenaged daughter will be giving birth soon, and she has decided to place her baby for adoption. I have told her that whatever she decides, I will support her decision.
Here is the difficult part: This will still be my biological grandchild. When this beautiful child is lovingly handed over to the adoptive parents, I will be losing a grandchild. I am already in mourning.
Are there other grandparents out there who are going -- or have gone -- through this, and how are they coping? I already see a therapist, but I would still like to know how others are coping.-- UN-GRANDPARENT IN OHIO
DEAR UN-GRANDPARENT: I wish you had told me more about the kind of adoption your daughter has chosen for her baby. If it is an open adoption in which she will be kept informed about the child's milestones and progress, ask the adoptive couple if they would welcome you as an "extra" grandparent for the child. If I hear from others who have gone through this process, I will let you know, because I'm sure they will write to help you through your heartache.
DEAR ABBY: I am being married to the man of my dreams next month. "Jon" and I love each other and are excited to celebrate our life as husband and wife together with our families and friends.
I have a 6-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and after talking to her, she told me she would like to walk me down the aisle instead of being our flower girl. I love the idea, and so does Jon.
I will have to talk to my dad about it, because I know he was looking forward to it although we do not have a close relationship. I have lived on my own since I was 17. How do I communicate to him in an appropriate way that my daughter, who has been my family for the past six years, will walk me down the aisle and not him?-- CONFUSED BRIDE-TO-BE
DEAR CONFUSED: Because you aren't close to your father, this may not come as a shock to him. However, if he was asked to walk you down the aisle, he may be very hurt and it could cause a rift.
Be as diplomatic as possible when you break the news. Start by saying, "I was talking about the wedding with little 'Jennifer,' and she came up with an idea Jon and I think is adorable. Instead of being our flower girl, she wants to walk me down the aisle. We feel it would bring our little family even closer together. I hope you don't mind...."
DEAR ABBY: My husband has a low-paying job and I am trying to see that he gets a better one, but each step I take he regards as pestering him. This has driven us apart from each other. It really hurts me because we are now like strangers living together. What do I do?-- SAD WIFE IN ABUJA, NIGERIA
DEAR SAD WIFE: Change tactics. What you consider helpful encouragement may be regarded by your husband as constant nagging about a sore subject. Tell him you love him, didn't mean to pressure him -- and if you see some ads seeking men with his skills that offer a higher salary, let him know about them. That's what I would do.
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#2 Aug 25, 2014
1- poor YOU, don't you think this might be harder on your sluttty daughter?
3- watch out for Ebola
“I Am Mine”
Since: Dec 08
#3 Aug 25, 2014
Lw1: What dog said
Lw2: You COULD have BOTH walk you down the aisle. My wife had both her parents walk her
Lw3: did he ask for your "help". No? Then backdafucup.
“Where is Tonka?”
Since: Feb 09
Neda, stay with me! Charlie
#4 Aug 25, 2014
1 And what if your daughter wants no further contact? You don't think the kid will figure out where this "xtra" grandma came from?
2 I think it's stupid to let a 6yr old dictate her position in the wedding. In 16yrs she will barely remember it, but your father will never forget. Your making a mistake.
3 Check his email. He will probably get some money from the bank of Nigeria, and you will be rich.
(PS, just goes to show women are the same the world over.)
#5 Aug 25, 2014
LW 1: Just be glad the kid is going to be adopted, otherwise you’d be stuck babysitting while your teenage daughter is out getting knocked up again.
LW 2: Send him a text message or befriend him on Facebook.
LW 3: Why don’t you STFU!
#6 Aug 25, 2014
LW1 - My heart goes out to you. Hang on in there. You may be able to maintain the relationship with your grandchild if it's an open adoption. Google "support groups for grandparents of babies given up for adoption." I bet you'll find quite a bit of information.
LW2 - Team Tonka. IT would be cute for your daughter and dad both walk you down the aisle.
LW3 - It's not your responsibility to get your husband a better job. It's his. Cease and desist helping him. It probably drives him nuts, and it's not productive.
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