Comments
1 - 20 of 45 Comments Last updated Oct 14, 2012
First Prev
of 3
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#1
Oct 5, 2012
 
DEAR ABBY: Your column has been a fixture in my life. Thank you for the smiles and the tears.

My dilemma: I received yet another invitation to someone's home for a "product party." In the past year, I have been considered a prospective buyer of cookware, candles, makeup, toys and vitamins. While I have at times used all these products, the invitations to sales parties that come from friends and sometimes friends of friends, irritate me.

When I phone to decline, the hostess invariably says, "Oh, you don't have to buy anything." Of course that's not exactly entirely true because it's a sales party, and "guests" are pressured in various ways to buy the product. People often buy things they don't need or want because they fear they'd be disloyal to the hostess if they didn't.

When I was growing up, my father said, "You don't invite friends to your house to sell them things." Maybe Dad was on to something.

Abby, how should unwanted invitations be handled?-- IRKED IN INDIANA

DEAR IRKED: Continue to decline the invitations. Tell the hostess you have "a conflict" and cannot change your plans.(You don't have to give any details.)

P.S. To ease your conscience, your "conflict" can be your plan to watch your favorite "I Love Lucy" rerun on TV.

DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering what I should do when my biological father dies. He and my mother divorced before I was born. I've had little contact with him, but my older sister and brother lived with him growing up and are close to him.

My mother died 20 years ago, and afterward I tried to get to know him, but he didn't want to know me. He never paid child support. Both he and my mother remarried. I was fortunate to have a loving stepfather, and I was very close to him until his death.

When the time comes, I am considering not going to my birth father's funeral. I have not told my sister how I feel because she thinks he is the greatest. I think he is a dirt ball.

What do you advise, under these circumstances?-- CONFUSED IN SIOUX CITY

DEAR CONFUSED: Funerals are for the living. Go to his funeral and give your siblings the emotional support they will need. I understand why you feel the way you do, but in this situation, it would be an act of kindness to keep your true feelings to yourself.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, when I read one of your letters about pennies from heaven, I laughed about it to myself. My sister-in-law had died a few months earlier and I said, "OK, Sharyn, if you're there, send me a penny from heaven."

Abby, the next day when I arrived at work, there on my keyboard was a perfectly placed penny. And for weeks afterward I kept finding more pennies. Finally I had to say, "OK, Sharyn, I get it." And the pennies stopped.-- A BELIEVER NOW IN SOMERS, CONN.

DEAR BELIEVER NOW: I'm glad your faith is restored. If you saved them, have them made into charms for a bracelet. Every time you wear it you'll feel close to the sister-in-law who's smiling down on you.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#2
Oct 5, 2012
 
It is possible that LW's "bio dad" may not have really been her bio dad, which would account for the timing of teh divorce,the lack of contact and the lack of child support.

Consider it as if you were going to your sister's MIL's funeral: a relative of hers who she was fond of, but who your didn't care for.

Or, go just to make sure the dirtball is really dead

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#3
Oct 5, 2012
 
L1: Sigh. YOU TURN THEM DOWN YOU IDIOT. And "I love lucy"? You're old, Abby.

L2: Screw Abby's advice. He wasn't your father. Don't act as if he was. Your siblings didn't have YOUR back, apparently, when dad was shirking his duties to you as your father, so why bother having theirs now? They're grownups, they can cope.

L3: Stopped at teh "pennies from heaven" words.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#4
Oct 5, 2012
 
LW1: Just tell them you already have plans.

LW2: Thatís your call. I donít think you should have to show emotional support to your siblings if doing so will cause you pain.

LW3: You should have asked her for $100 dollar bills.
pde

Gilberts, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#5
Oct 5, 2012
 
Lw1: I like certain product parties. but on a whole, probably turn down 80% of invites to those type of parties without any guilt. If this a a neighborhood thing (lots of neighborhood women doing this), it may just be a method to get together and drink. Suggest putting together a monthly bunco party or something--after the year of too many product parties with almost nothing purchased, that's what a group in my neighborhood did.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#6
Oct 5, 2012
 
PEllen wrote:
It is possible that LW's "bio dad" may not have really been her bio dad, which would account for the timing of teh divorce,the lack of contact and the lack of child support.
Great minds think alike!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#7
Oct 5, 2012
 
2- I'm gonna agree with pe, your mamma was a hoe. I also agree with Abby, you should go to support your siblings. Otherwise this could very well cause a rift between you.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#8
Oct 5, 2012
 
1 I have never had this problem, but I do like I Love Lucy.

2 What PEllen said.

3 Yep, if you look for pennies I am sure you will find them. I find them all the time, but I dont attribute them to someone dead waving to me.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#9
Oct 5, 2012
 
L1: The need to consult Dear Abby for this conndrum is a sure sign of idiocy.
L2: I'm with Redhead. To go is a sign that you are paying your respects to the scumbag. I'd just tell the siblings, "you now my history with him, so you can understand why I'll not be going to the funeral or wake." Screw them if they have a problem.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#10
Oct 5, 2012
 
L1: I Love Lucy is still in reruns, Red. You need to turn those down -- each party leads to more parties and you'll never get peace. Just say "no". Tupperware -- the new drug.:)

L2: There's more than your siblings who will attend, most likely. Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Go for all of them and your relationship with those relatives. It is true that funerals are for the living. The dead person usually doesn't have a thing to say at them.

L3: I have a lot of pennies that accumulate in my desk drawer. I should start placing one on someone's keyboard each day and see if they start to freak out.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#11
Oct 5, 2012
 
Abby showed her age by even referencing ILL, a tv show that's 40-50 years old, which isn't even a funny show to me (or other people I know).

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#12
Oct 5, 2012
 
LW1: I hate these things. And my mother was always dragging me to them when I was growing up to "be nice and polite." Then she'd complain all the way home and for the next few days because she felt "forced" into spending money she didn't have and now she wouldn't have money for whatever, blahblahblah. I just wanted to scream "so don't go to the effing parties then".

Oh, but being "nice" to people, even people we barely knew, was always more important almost all the time. Fortunately, I now live in a rural area where these things are rare and we can find way better excuses to get together and drink!

LW3: Ugh. Waiter, I'd like to return this rehash and grits, it's way too stale and old.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#13
Oct 5, 2012
 
LW1: "When I phone to decline, the hostess invariably says, "Oh, you don't have to buy anything." "

That's when you say again, that you can't make it. And if you have the hostess's email, you don't even need to call. Send an email. Or better yet, go under the premise that if you don't respond at all, that a sensible person woud assume you are not coming.

LW2: What Abby said.

LW3: One day I was at the 7 Eleven. I was short a penny. I thought I was going to have to suffer and not be able to buy and enjoy my speccially chosen 20 oz bottle of pineapple flavored Fanta. Just as I was about to hang my head and leave, I noticed a little bowl on the counter. It had some change in it. There was a sign above it.

Have a penny, leave a penny.
Need a penny, take a penny.
Need anickel, get a job.

THERE WAS A PENNY!

I just know it was my great great great grandfather the pineapple farmer who sent that penny to me!

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#14
Oct 5, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Abby showed her age by even referencing ILL, a tv show that's 40-50 years old, which isn't even a funny show to me (or other people I know).
Finally, someone who agrees with me on that! I watched in in reruns as a child (hey, I'm almost fifty, so it was in syndication everywhere then!) and never, ever understood what the big deal was. And Lucy begging and pleading with hubby for even a lousy five bucks was a real, major turnoff. otoh, something tells me it just might be the mutt's favorite show!

Since: Mar 09

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#15
Oct 5, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Abby showed her age by even referencing ILL, a tv show that's 40-50 years old, which isn't even a funny show to me (or other people I know).
Yeah. The fact that it's still in reruns isn't the point, it's that there are 40 years worth of newer shows she could have referenced.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#16
Oct 5, 2012
 
Sublime1 wrote:
LW2: Thatís your call. I donít think you should have to show emotional support to your siblings if doing so will cause you pain.
I'll buy that. I was going with the assumption that she didn't want to go simply because she did not like him so why pay last respect. Certainly, if going would be painful to her, don't go.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#17
Oct 5, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Abby showed her age by even referencing ILL, a tv show that's 40-50 years old, which isn't even a funny show to me (or other people I know).
Really? Not even when she's stomping on grapes to make wine or the Vitameatavegamin episode? http://www.youtube.com/watch...

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#18
Oct 5, 2012
 
LW1: I hate those things too.

But I did get really cool candleholders at the last one I went to...

Just say no and go to the movies.

LW2: A little from what PE said and a little from what Abby said. It really depends on what kind of relationship she has with her sibs.

LW3: Is it really horrible of me to wish the next penny falls from the top of the Sears, oops I mean Willis Tower right onto the LW's head?

It is, isn't it?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#19
Oct 5, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Abby showed her age by even referencing ILL, a tv show that's 40-50 years old,
Yes. Old.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
which isn't even a funny show to me (or other people I know).
WHAT!?!?!?! Bite your tongue!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#20
Oct 5, 2012
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah. The fact that it's still in reruns isn't the point, it's that there are 40 years worth of newer shows she could have referenced.
And maybe I'm being technical here, but does anyone refer to shows that are in syndication as "reruns"? To me, that only applies to current shows on network television.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

First Prev
of 3
Next Last
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

85 Users are viewing the Chicago Forum right now

Search the Chicago Forum:
Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 9 min RoxLo 1,082,627
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 9 min LRS 174,995
Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 18 min Terry rigsby 48,964
Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 22 min Eric 68,427
10 ďActive Militia TeamsĒ Securing The US-Mexic... 45 min Good luck 1
Global Elite Agitating for War Against Russia 52 min Kurt Nimmo video 1
Abby 7-29 1 hr Sublime1 10
•••
•••
•••

Chicago Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••