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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Dec 6, 2013
DEAR AMY: I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. He performs in a band and uses Facebook to "schmooze" on behalf of his band so people will come out and see them play.

He claims he is not addicted to Facebook, but I have learned that he goes on the site many times a day. He even goes on Facebook and "likes" pages that have nothing to do with music.

When I asked him recently if he's been on Facebook lately, he said, "Not for a few days," and yet I know he's on it every day!

I don't like Facebook; I think it creates trouble. How should I handle this? Help!-- Upset Girlfriend

DEAR UPSET: Facebook doesn't create trouble, people do. So here's some unsolicited feedback for you: You are not your boyfriend's boss. You are not his mommy. You don't even seem to be much of a band fan.

And now a question to ponder: Does your boyfriend use a telephone?

Telephones are used many times a day. They have been used as "schmooze" tools to promote bands. And, sometimes, telephones get people into trouble.

To fully control your boyfriend, you're going to need access to his phone. All calls should be screened.

Now I have some advice for him: Seriously, dude. You need to find yourself a new woman. Look for someone who is not threatened by your presence in this century.

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have known another couple for many years. In fact, the two men own a piece of property together.

We have invited them to several get-togethers and we always have a good time with them. When we meet at our shared property, they are always friendly and fun to be with. The problem is that they have never invited us to their home. I know they have parties or other gatherings because they tell us about them.

It has been more than nine months since we last invited them to our house for dinner.

I recently ran into the wife, and she said she feels bad that they have not had us over. She claims their house is a mess and that's the reason they haven't issued an invitation. Their house seems to be clean enough for their other friends, but not us.

We are definitely not clean freaks. We have a dog, for heaven's sake.

I am not really angry about this. I'm just curious as to what to think, and wonder why they've made so many lame excuses.

What do you think? What should we say to them the next time we meet?-- Confused

DEAR CONFUSED: You must be easily confused. You have presented something that is quite straightforward and yet claim not to understand it.

Your friend has been honest with you. Something about their house (probably its state of cleanliness) is embarrassing, and this is why they have avoided having you over. The kindest thing to do is to take them at their word, not take this personally and not speculate about nefarious motives or lame excuses.

As curious as you are about their home, you might even be grateful not to be invited. There are some messes out there that you can't "unsee."

If you cannot accept this explanation at face value, then you should simply be honest about how this makes you feel and see how they respond.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to the question from "More Anxious Than Ever," who was yelled at because her leashed dog went "potty" on someone's lawn. A dog is not a person. When nature calls, the dog goes. It doesn't think, "I'd better hold it until I get back to my yard."

If everyone felt like you, that it's "disrespectful" to let your dog poop in other people's yards, even if the owner immediately picks it up, no one would ever be able to take their dog for a walk. Or else they'd have to operate like owners in New York City and encourage the dog to do its business on the sidewalk, which to me seems worse.-- Dog Lover

DEAR LOVER: I realize this sort of thing can't always be controlled, and most readers agree with you.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#2 Dec 6, 2013
1- Amy is bashing the... woman!? What the... what? Up is down! First Walker, then Mandela, now Amy is woman bashing... I... I can't... I expect to hear the trumpets of the apocalypse soon!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Dec 6, 2013
1 Did amy really say dude??

2 Their swingers, your not.

3 Cant always be controlled? It cant ever be controlled you dummy, nice way to torture a dog by not allowing him to crap.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#4 Dec 6, 2013
L3. There are not many dog walkers where I live, but have you ever noticed how some dogs will lift their hind leg and sprinkle on almost anything it walks by?
Even when it just pee'd on your neighbors fire hydrant, it will still take a squirt on your tree too.
Just thinking out loud....

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#5 Dec 6, 2013
loose cannon wrote:
L3. There are not many dog walkers where I live, but have you ever noticed how some dogs will lift their hind leg and sprinkle on almost anything it walks by?
Even when it just pee'd on your neighbors fire hydrant, it will still take a squirt on your tree too.
Just thinking out loud....
Because they're laying down their scent. It has nothing to do with bladder control. It's a form of communication.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Dec 6, 2013
LW1: Worry about yourself and stop trying to act like his mommy and control him.

LW2: Move on already. Who cares? If you want their company, invite them over or go out with them.

LW3: Donít have a dog if you donít have property for it to use for this purpose. Itís not other folks obligation to provide you with land to let your dog to pee and poop on. Dog pee kills certain plants and grass. Either use your own land or go to a park that allows animals. The fact that you own a dog is your problem, not other folks problem.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Dec 6, 2013
LW1: Wow, Amy must be hitting the rum balls a little early this holiday season.

LW2: What tipsy Amy said.

LW3: Ooo, poopy rehash! It smells soooo good!

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#8 Dec 6, 2013
L1 The answer almost sounds like someone else wrote it (Dog, maybe?). So I checked. That's what she wrote.

Great answer.

L2 Okay answer

L3. Seeing eye dogs are trained to control when they need to go and to follow hand commands so the blind person can tell if it is pee or poop and clean up accordingly.

I have not heard of non- blind service dogs getting that training but apparently it is possible.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Dec 6, 2013
L1: At first I thought edog wrote that. Now I'm thinking Amy must be addicted to FB.

L2: Maybe they're afraid you'll bring the dog with you.

L3: Love Squishy's take.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#10 Dec 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
L1 The answer almost sounds like someone else wrote it (Dog, maybe?). So I checked. That's what she wrote.
Great answer.
I almost thought about changing it to defend the woman and bash the man, just to make it seem more believable. Heh, ironically, if I had, no one would have questioned it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Dec 6, 2013
Being on facebook daily is not too different than checking email everyday. This chick is a crazy control freak. Probably had an ex cheat on her with a facebook hook up and blames facebook

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#12 Dec 6, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Being on facebook daily is not too different than checking email everyday. This chick is a crazy control freak. Probably had an ex cheat on her with a facebook hook up and blames facebook
That's what I was thinking. Or, like my ex, just thinks that anything involving a computer is evil.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Dec 6, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I almost thought about changing it to defend the woman and bash the man, just to make it seem more believable. Heh, ironically, if I had, no one would have questioned it.
Unfortunately you are probably right

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#14 Dec 6, 2013
I thought the sarcasm and calling the guy "dude" was the things so unlike Amy.
Blunt Advice

New York, NY

#15 Dec 6, 2013
1. Find someone to date who you more in common who also hates facebook.
2. Whats already been said. Some people just dont want others in their house.
3. This rehash is for the dogs.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#16 Dec 6, 2013
LW1: Your problem is not Facebook. Your problem is that you are dating a musician and have no clue what that means after 5 years.

LW2: Team Amy.

LW3: Team Sublime.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#17 Dec 6, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
LW1: Your problem is not Facebook. Your problem is that you are dating a musician and have no clue what that means after 5 years.
LW2: Team Amy.
LW3: Team Sublime.
There are at least 2 people here who are or were partnered with musicians. Haven't seen anything from either one yet.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#18 Dec 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>There are at least 2 people here who are or were partnered with musicians. Haven't seen anything from either one yet.
I'm a musician and I know a LOT of people who are married to or partnered with musicians. I'm surprised that LW has made it 5 years with this guy, not just because she is a control freak, but she has no clue about how crucial it is to build a following, and how helpful FB can be in that regard.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Dec 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>There are at least 2 people here who are or were partnered with musicians. Haven't seen anything from either one yet.
I didn't comment on the living-with-a-muscian-thing because that was not really her problem. She would behave like the controlling nutjob she is with any boyfriend, regardless of his career.
VAdame

Pittsburgh, PA

#20 Dec 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>There are at least 2 people here who are or were partnered with musicians. Haven't seen anything from either one yet.
My son-in-law's a musician. My daughter is his business manager, and she knows EXACTLY how important "schmoozing" is!

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