Abby 9-19

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Toj

“Equality”

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#61
Sep 20, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Curious, you are implying that I stated my position as fact, but she stated hers as opinion. This is odd because she is the one who mentioned the word "Most" to begin with, and I never used the word at all except to say I believe most people think her to be wrong. Which is not the same as saying most believe me to be right.
You are putting too much of your own personal slant into your arguments.
<quoted text>
I did not read that in Tonka's post. I did not see where he implied he believe you were stating fact. He only said that I wasn't stating fact and that I said it was my opinion.

“Derecho”

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#62
Sep 20, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
And I see you're too stupid to comprehend what the word NEED means, and why I chose that word to begin with.
You really are a fish in a barrel sometimes.
<quoted text>
Basically you said people who prefer to live as a hermit and go months without human interaction are normal and make up the majority. Those who enjoy doing stuff with others are clingy and are the minority. Then you get all huffy and pzzy when someone calls you out on it.

“I Am Mine”

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#63
Sep 20, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
???
Where did I say I am a chatty cathy? I am pretty sure I tried to paint myself as the exact opposite of that.
Well, you need a new paintbrush cause that's the image I got when you made a point to talk about how you get your human interaction by just going out and chatting with people. Since the premise was not having any friends, I assumed you meant chatting up anyone that crossed your path.
RACE wrote:
Maybe it's the whole "wanting to meet new friends" that we are stumbling on
Could be, cause that's the topic of the letter and I've not veered of course.
RACE wrote:
If I move to a new city, I will do things that I enjoy doing. Bowling, Museums,Fairs,Bars, and by doing those things, I am sure I will meet new friends.
While I am quite content sitting home alone without any human interaction for a stretch, so far from clingy as I see it, I've never done ANY of those things solo and have no desire to do so. To me, those are social activities that you do with friends. You really bowl alone? When I am bowling, I am consumed by the company I am with and oblivious to anyone who might be bowling alone on hte next lane.

When travelling for work, I sat at the bar for dinner a couple times so I could watch a game, but I mostly kept to myself and focused on the game. This simply illustrates your comfort level in striking up conversations with total strangers. I typically don't. Is there something wrong with me?
RACE wrote:
But I will not be doing those things "TO" meet people. If I go to a bar and I dont meet anyone, I will be just as happy as if I did, because my purpose was to "go to the bar", not "meet people".
To me, going to a bar is a social endeavor. I would get no enjoyment out of going to a bar sitting alone, meeting no one, then going home. The simple act of BEING in the bar give me no enjoyment.

RACE wrote:
The way I read the letter its about somebody moving someplace new and the first thing on their list is "Meet new Friends" and they want a manual on how to do that. So they join softball, not because they like playing softball but because they need to "meet new friends".
These were suggestions from others. And I see nothing wrong with "make new friends" being a priority when moving to a new area. The idea was not to join the softball team even though you don't like softball. It was to join into some activity you enjoy and it will be easier to meet new people. Why is this bad advice? You would go bowling alone to meet new people. Others would joing a bowling team. You would go to the bar alone and hope to meet people, others would find their local alumni group and meetup to watch the game at the bar.
RACE wrote:
Would you really want to have someone to to a football game with you, even though you knew they hated football, and the only reason they are going is so they dont have to find a way to occupy themselves for a day?
No one suggested doing things you don't like.

“I Am Mine”

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#64
Sep 20, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
Show Me!
<quoted text>
RACE wrote:
I believe you're wrong, and I think MOST people will agree with me.
Yup! I believe.
<quoted text>
Shown

“I Am Mine”

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#65
Sep 20, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Curious, you are implying that I stated my position as fact, but she stated hers as opinion. This is odd because she is the one who mentioned the word "Most" to begin with, and I never used the word at all except to say I believe most people think her to be wrong. Which is not the same as saying most believe me to be right.
You are putting too much of your own personal slant into your arguments.
<quoted text>
?? Are you drinking? I never implied anyone claimed fact. And if your position is the opposite of hers" saying she's wrong ia the same as saying you're right.

She said most people need to feel like part of something or some jibba jabba. You disagreed. What are we missing...other than the 12 you had this morning?

“I Am Mine”

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#66
Sep 20, 2013
 
And back to an earlier question, ARE you offended by the suggestion that most people would not be happy living a solitary life? Cause you seem offended and I can't understand why.

You also seem to have problems with people who use different avenues than you to make friends.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

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#67
Sep 20, 2013
 

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No, wrong still.
I said I believe most people will side with me in thinking she is wrong, not that I am right.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
Shown

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

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#68
Sep 20, 2013
 

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I am not drinking, but you seem to be hugely hung over....From post 56 or 53 if forget
but you DID claim that most fall into group B.

That is a flat out lie, I never said any such thing. I simply said that most people would agree with me, that she is wrong in her opinion.

Further, I never expressed an opinion about a group B. You made up group B out of thin air to support your argument. I dont think my preference for how, or how much human interaction I get is the normal, and I never stated that it was.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>?? Are you drinking? I never implied anyone claimed fact. And if your position is the opposite of hers" saying she's wrong ia the same as saying you're right.
She said most people need to feel like part of something or some jibba jabba. You disagreed. What are we missing...other than the 12 you had this morning?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

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#69
Sep 20, 2013
 

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Maybe if you tried reading with your eyes open....
...but you DID claim that most fall into group B.
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I did not read that in Tonka's post. I did not see where he implied he believe you were stating fact. He only said that I wasn't stating fact and that I said it was my opinion.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

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#70
Sep 20, 2013
 

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No, your saying thats what I said, which is not what I said at all.
If you can find a quote where I said my way was normal I will cede to the entire group. But you wont.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Basically you said people who prefer to live as a hermit and go months without human interaction are normal and make up the majority. Those who enjoy doing stuff with others are clingy and are the minority. Then you get all huffy and pzzy when someone calls you out on it.

Toj

“Equality”

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#71
Sep 20, 2013
 
Tonka has the patience of a saint.

Toj

“Equality”

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#72
Sep 20, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
No, your saying thats what I said, which is not what I said at all.
If you can find a quote where I said my way was normal I will cede to the entire group. But you wont.
<quoted text>
Good thing you like to be alone.

“I Am Mine”

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#73
Sep 20, 2013
 
Toj wrote:
Tonka has the patience of a saint.
that and not much to do at work today to keep me busy.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

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#74
Sep 20, 2013
 

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I cant do all that pasting withing posts stuff so

1 The image I got when you made a point to talk about how you get your human interaction by just going out and chatting with people. Since the premise was not having any friends, I assumed you meant chatting up anyone that crossed your path.

Get new glasses, what I meant was that I only require small doses of human interaction, so idle chit-chat is enough, not that I go out and soak up conversations with hordes of strangers.

2 I've never done ANY of those things solo and have no desire to do so. To me, those are social activities that you do with friends. You really bowl alone? When I am bowling, I am consumed by the company I am with and oblivious to anyone who might be bowling alone on hte next lane.

Just because you dont do them solo, does not mean that other people besides myself dont do them solo.
Next time you go bowling, take a look around, and I bet you will find at leas 1/2 dozen people bowling solo. Now, I am not talking league night, but on a normal day... yeah.

I can bowl alone as comfortably as I can go do photography alone. And when I look around I see other people doing these same things, also alone.

3 When travelling for work, I sat at the bar for dinner a couple times so I could watch a game, but I mostly kept to myself and focused on the game. This simply illustrates your comfort level in striking up conversations with total strangers. I typically don't. Is there something wrong with me?


To me, going to a bar is a social endeavor. I would get no enjoyment out of going to a bar sitting alone, meeting no one, then going home. The simple act of BEING in the bar give me no enjoyment.

So what is it Tonka? do you go to the bar to be alone and watch the game or do you go to the bar as a social endeavor? Since you cant seem to make up your mind about why you are even at the bar to begin with, I am going to say YES, their is something wrong with you.:)

4 others would find their local alumni group and meetup to watch the game at the bar.

Oh, sure! Rub it in that I only have a 2yr degree!
SNOB!

Would I go bowling alone to meet new people? No, I would go bowling alone to go bowling. Meeting new people is a natural extension of that.

5 And I see nothing wrong with "make new friends" being a priority when moving to a new area.

Well, I dont see it as "Wrong" either, but I do see needing to do that is not "Right"

I just dont put "making new friends" on my list of things to do. I put bowling on that list, I put photography on that list, and by doing those things Magically I seem to make new friends.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

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#75
Sep 20, 2013
 

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I am not offended, but I find it creepy for people to avoid solitude. Just like I find someone picking their nose and eating the buggers creepy. It's not necessarily wrong, but it makes me uncomfortable, and I have to wonder about the person.

And for the love of pete, I dont care how anybody makes friends, we all walk our own path and all that. My point was people needing to make friends because they are afraid of being alone. IE not happy unless they are around other people. The people who want friends, not for camaraderie, but to act as a bastion against being alone. To me, thats creepy!
Mister Tonka wrote:
And back to an earlier question, ARE you offended by the suggestion that most people would not be happy living a solitary life? Cause you seem offended and I can't understand why.
You also seem to have problems with people who use different avenues than you to make friends.

“I Am Mine”

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#76
Sep 20, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
I am not offended, but I find it creepy for people to avoid solitude. Just like I find someone picking their nose and eating the buggers creepy. It's not necessarily wrong, but it makes me uncomfortable, and I have to wonder about the person.
And for the love of pete, I dont care how anybody makes friends, we all walk our own path and all that. My point was people needing to make friends because they are afraid of being alone. IE not happy unless they are around other people. The people who want friends, not for camaraderie, but to act as a bastion against being alone. To me, thats creepy!
<quoted text>
I don't have the patience to go thru your other long post again simply because i am typing on a smart phone and its a pain in the ass. So you find it creepy that people don't enjoy solitude and might want friends to avoid that?

If you retire, would you be happy moving to a place where you knew no one? Would you be happy with life if your only interaction with people was minimal idle chit chat? No friends to invite over for a disgusting bloody steak? No one to go out on the boat with?

I don't need to be around people 24-7, but that type
of existence would suck to me. And to be honest, that seems more creepy than someone who is trying to make friends.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#77
Sep 20, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
No, your saying thats what I said, which is not what I said at all.
If you can find a quote where I said my way was normal I will cede to the entire group. But you wont.
<quoted text>
I was summing up what you said. I never said it was a direct quote. But you did say "most people..." to both tonka and toj. Now you're gonna try to change your point?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

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#78
Sep 20, 2013
 

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Now who is acting like edog? Of course there is no middle ground right? It all has to be on the fringe, deserted island living in a cave and all that....

Quit repackaging what I said with your words. I said...
My point was people needing to make friends because they are afraid of being alone

NOT "people don't enjoy solitude" There is a huge difference and you know it.

I really dont get where you think I said i dont want friends, more made up statements. I only said that making friends is not something that I try to do. It does not mean I dont have friends, or that if I moved, I would never have any. Just that I would not make it a task. It would occur naturally out of the other things that I do.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> I don't have the patience to go thru your other long post again simply because i am typing on a smart phone and its a pain in the ass. So you find it creepy that people don't enjoy solitude and might want friends to avoid that?
If you retire, would you be happy moving to a place where you knew no one? Would you be happy with life if your only interaction with people was minimal idle chit chat? No friends to invite over for a disgusting bloody steak? No one to go out on the boat with?
I don't need to be around people 24-7, but that type
of existence would suck to me. And to be honest, that seems more creepy than someone who is trying to make friends.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#79
Sep 20, 2013
 

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I think I have sufficiently pointed out what I meant by "most people"
I can see where you may have misinterpreted what I was alluding to, but that is on you not me.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I was summing up what you said. I never said it was a direct quote. But you did say "most people..." to both tonka and toj. Now you're gonna try to change your point?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

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#80
Sep 20, 2013
 

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And your summing up is totally wrong. Hope your better with the math version of summing up.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I was summing up what you said. I never said it was a direct quote. But you did say "most people..." to both tonka and toj. Now you're gonna try to change your point?

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