“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#41 Sep 19, 2013
RACE wrote:
No, but I am not about to waste my breath. If you could read properly you would know your wrong. You even copied and pasted it.
No. Please waste your breath. Please tell me where I'm wrong. I'll copy and paste again
RACE wrote:
You peeps who need scheduled activies and to meet people are horribly clingy.
Is softball a scheduled activity? Is hockey? You have an issue with those wanting to meet new people?

Either defend your comment or admit you spoke out of your @zz. I'm giving you an out here.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#42 Sep 19, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
No. Please waste your breath. Please tell me where I'm wrong. I'll copy and paste again
<quoted text>
Is softball a scheduled activity? Is hockey? You have an issue with those wanting to meet new people?
Either defend your comment or admit you spoke out of your @zz. I'm giving you an out here.
Everyone is different. I get that. But I have to agree that most people don't want to live in a vacuum. Whether it is organized sports, bingo, or football it is being a part of something. I understand wanting solitude, I do. I love that, too. But 24/7 without contact, why not live in a tent in the wood near a lake so you could paddle your boat? No work. He'll, pick up bottles for money if that's what you need. I don't want people all the time, but I'm socialized enough to want it. Nothing is better than a shared laugh or an exchange of ideas. Cracks me up when people th their SPOOUSE don't needeople. He'll, take away the spouse -- now what?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#43 Sep 19, 2013
RACE wrote:
You peeps who need scheduled activies and to meet people are horribly clingy. Learn how to read a book, how to sit in silence, appreciate a thunderstorm.
This sounds like the opposite of that LW who thought her introvert DIL needed fixing because she was not outgoing enough for MIL's liking. That DIL was no more "defective" than people who don't like to sit in silence alone.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#44 Sep 19, 2013
RACE wrote:
Would you have been happier of I had said "I dont think you speak for MOST people?" MOST, ALL, whats the diff?
Now you sound like edogg. Words have meanings regardless of if you want to dismiss the difference as meaningless. I don't see anything she said as anything to be offended by. In fact it serves as evidence of something I've said many times in the past: Most people think their views and experiences are the norm and those that differ are the minority.

She thinks most people fall into group A.
You think most fall into group B.
You're guilty of the same thing you are giving her shit for(Is she your Sam replacement?)

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#45 Sep 19, 2013
RACE wrote:
I can not speak to anyone for two weeks and not thing anything of it.
Do you think "most" people share this mentality? I don't.
RACE wrote:
And over the course of a month, I will chat with people, go shopping etc, all normal interactions with other humans,
2 points
1) that's YOU. I chat with people I know. Strangers in line at the store? People at the next table while I'm sitting there eating lunch by myself? No. I don't chat with strangers. I am the norm? Are you the norm? I'd guess its somewhere in the middle.

2) This whole topic of discussion stems from suggestions on how to make friends when moving to someplace brand new where you don't know anyone. Perhaps it seems silly to you since you apparently chat up everyone that walks by, but many people don't. Other than my first year in college in the dorms, I've never moved anywhere where I did not already know some people. Just about all the friends I have made over the years have been through mutual friends, the dorm being the exception. But everyone else in the dorm was in the same situation so its not the same as moving to a new city. I am far from clingy or needing to belong, but if I moved somewhere and did not know soul, I would probably need some ideas on where to go to make new friends too.
RACE wrote:
but I dont need a club, group, or any structured activity to get my dose of humanity. I dont need to speak daily with someone. Once a week is plenty.
Again, your original comment was directed at LW's offering advice on how to make friends in a new city where everyone is a stranger. If you could move to a city under those circumstances as a retiree with no new co-workers to become friends with and could live happily without seeking out new friends, you are definitely in the minority. That's not even debatable.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#46 Sep 19, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
LW1 said he moved far south and then signed that he was in Nevada. I guess it didn't work that well for them in the south? Or maybe my geography is off....
Maybe they came from Seattle

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#47 Sep 19, 2013
RACE wrote:
Matilda does those things because she enjoys the activity, <quoted text>
Matilda has said on more than one occasion that bunco is just an excuse to get together and drink. Sounds more about the social than the activity to me.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#48 Sep 20, 2013
Sounds to me that bunco in a social drinking exercise.

How are you not getting that I am distinguishing between a person who engages in things just to "not be alone" vs someone who does something because they enjoy the doing of it?

Even if its going to a bar, are you going just so your not sitting alone on a Fri night or are you going because you enjoy the band and the ambiance?
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Matilda has said on more than one occasion that bunco is just an excuse to get together and drink. Sounds more about the social than the activity to me.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#49 Sep 20, 2013
You peeps who need scheduled activies and to meet people are horribly clingy.

You peeps who need scheduled activies
You peeps who need
need
NEED!

You peeps who need scheduled activies and to meet people
You peeps who need to meet people
need to meet people
need
NEED!

Get it yet? "NEED" this activity because they cant figure out what to do on their own. NOT "WANT" TO DO BECAUSE THEY ENJOY THE ACTIVITY!!!!

"NEED" to meet people because they cant sit in their own skin for a few weeks. NOT "WANT" TO MEET PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ENJOY MEETING OTHERS.

Like the person who has to have the radio on because they cant stand silence.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
No. Please waste your breath. Please tell me where I'm wrong. I'll copy and paste again
<quoted text>
Is softball a scheduled activity? Is hockey? You have an issue with those wanting to meet new people?
Either defend your comment or admit you spoke out of your @zz. I'm giving you an out here.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#50 Sep 20, 2013
I did not say defective, I said clingy, and there is something wrong with people who will do anything to not be alone, like put up with an abusive spouse for example. But that is the far end of what I am talking about, I'll admit.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> This sounds like the opposite of that LW who thought her introvert DIL needed fixing because she was not outgoing enough for MIL's liking. That DIL was no more "defective" than people who don't like to sit in silence alone.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#51 Sep 20, 2013
All of this....Except:
I never said I thought most fall into group B, I only said she cannot say that most fall into group A. Your right, words have meaning, and you are guilty of trying to put words into my mouth.

I was very careful to not state that I though my way was the norm. In fact I will be the first to admit, that it is not.
So, NO, I am not guilty of hypocrisy.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Now you sound like edogg. Words have meanings regardless of if you want to dismiss the difference as meaningless. I don't see anything she said as anything to be offended by. In fact it serves as evidence of something I've said many times in the past: Most people think their views and experiences are the norm and those that differ are the minority.
She thinks most people fall into group A.
You think most fall into group B.
You're guilty of the same thing you are giving her shit for(Is she your Sam replacement?)

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#52 Sep 20, 2013
???
Where did I say I am a chatty cathy? I am pretty sure I tried to paint myself as the exact opposite of that.

Maybe it's the whole "wanting to meet new friends" that we are stumbling on

If I move to a new city, I will do things that I enjoy doing. Bowling, Museums,Fairs,Bars, and by doing those things, I am sure I will meet new friends. But I will not be doing those things "TO" meet people. If I go to a bar and I dont meet anyone, I will be just as happy as if I did, because my purpose was to "go to the bar", not "meet people".

The way I read the letter its about somebody moving someplace new and the first thing on their list is "Meet new Friends" and they want a manual on how to do that. So they join softball, not because they like playing softball but because they need to "meet new friends" and Chapter 3 says "Join a Softball Team"

People who Need friends because they are not comfortable doing things by themself are in my book "Clingy". Would you really want to have someone to to a football game with you, even though you knew they hated football, and the only reason they are going is so they dont have to find a way to occupy themselves for a day?
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you think "most" people share this mentality? I don't.
<quoted text>
2 points
1) that's YOU. I chat with people I know. Strangers in line at the store? People at the next table while I'm sitting there eating lunch by myself? No. I don't chat with strangers. I am the norm? Are you the norm? I'd guess its somewhere in the middle.
2) This whole topic of discussion stems from suggestions on how to make friends when moving to someplace brand new where you don't know anyone. Perhaps it seems silly to you since you apparently chat up everyone that walks by, but many people don't. Other than my first year in college in the dorms, I've never moved anywhere where I did not already know some people. Just about all the friends I have made over the years have been through mutual friends, the dorm being the exception. But everyone else in the dorm was in the same situation so its not the same as moving to a new city. I am far from clingy or needing to belong, but if I moved somewhere and did not know soul, I would probably need some ideas on where to go to make new friends too.
<quoted text>Again, your original comment was directed at LW's offering advice on how to make friends in a new city where everyone is a stranger. If you could move to a city under those circumstances as a retiree with no new co-workers to become friends with and could live happily without seeking out new friends, you are definitely in the minority. That's not even debatable.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#53 Sep 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
You peeps who need scheduled activies and to meet people are horribly clingy.
You peeps who need scheduled activies
You peeps who need
need
NEED!
You peeps who need scheduled activies and to meet people
You peeps who need to meet people
need to meet people
need
NEED!
Get it yet? "NEED" this activity because they cant figure out what to do on their own. NOT "WANT" TO DO BECAUSE THEY ENJOY THE ACTIVITY!!!!
"NEED" to meet people because they cant sit in their own skin for a few weeks. NOT "WANT" TO MEET PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ENJOY MEETING OTHERS.
Like the person who has to have the radio on because they cant stand silence.
<quoted text>
Now you're attempting to distinguish between a desire and a need. Nice try, but I'm not buying it. I see you're not man enough to admit your fukkup.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#54 Sep 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
Sounds to me that bunco in a social drinking exercise.
How are you not getting that I am distinguishing between a person who engages in things just to "not be alone" vs someone who does something because they enjoy the doing of it?
Even if its going to a bar, are you going just so your not sitting alone on a Fri night or are you going because you enjoy the band and the ambiance?
<quoted text>
I think many people go out on a friday night cause they don't wanna sit home alone. I think that's quite normal.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#55 Sep 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
I did not say defective...and there is something wrong with people who will do anything to not be alone,
something wrong, ie defective.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#56 Sep 20, 2013
RACE wrote:
All of this....Except:
I never said I thought most fall into group B, I only said she cannot say that most fall into group A. Your right, words have meaning, and you are guilty of trying to put words into my mouth.
I was very careful to not state that I though my way was the norm. In fact I will be the first to admit, that it is not.
So, NO, I am not guilty of hypocrisy.
<quoted text>
Perhaps you did so in an effort to mock Toj, but you DID claim that most fall into group B. And why can't she say that most fall into group A. Its her opinion. She can say whatever she wants. She's not claiming it to be fact. You are free to disagree, but for whatever reason, you seem to be offended even by the idea that her mindset could be the norm. HOW DARE THEY EVEN SUGGEST A THING!

Its as if you feel it is an attack on you.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#57 Sep 20, 2013
Show Me!
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> but you DID claim that most fall into group B.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#58 Sep 20, 2013
And I see you're too stupid to comprehend what the word NEED means, and why I chose that word to begin with.

You really are a fish in a barrel sometimes.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Now you're attempting to distinguish between a desire and a need. Nice try, but I'm not buying it. I see you're not man enough to admit your fukkup.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#59 Sep 20, 2013
Curious, you are implying that I stated my position as fact, but she stated hers as opinion. This is odd because she is the one who mentioned the word "Most" to begin with, and I never used the word at all except to say I believe most people think her to be wrong. Which is not the same as saying most believe me to be right.

You are putting too much of your own personal slant into your arguments.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Perhaps you did so in an effort to mock Toj, but you DID claim that most fall into group B. And why can't she say that most fall into group A. Its her opinion. She can say whatever she wants. She's not claiming it to be fact. You are free to disagree, but for whatever reason, you seem to be offended even by the idea that her mindset could be the norm. HOW DARE THEY EVEN SUGGEST A THING!
Its as if you feel it is an attack on you.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#60 Sep 20, 2013
Not wanting to and "Cant" are two different things.

If I dont wanna sit home alone, I wont.
But I can sit home alone. The people I am talking about cant.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I think many people go out on a friday night cause they don't wanna sit home alone. I think that's quite normal.

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