Comments
1 - 20 of 20 Comments Last updated Nov 4, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Nov 1, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced five years and have five children, ranging in age from 23 to 8. When I was having trouble with my middle son, "Logan," I found help from his godfather, "Carl." I hadn't seen Carl in years. He was my ex's best friend when Logan was born.

Long story short, Carl and I have been in a committed relationship for two years now. He has been more a part of our lives than my ex has. Four of my kids love Carl, and he is very involved in their lives. Logan, however, hates him and throws a fit if his name is mentioned. I have tried to explain that I didn't intend this to happen, but Logan feels I "took away his godfather from him." Carl is still there for him, but Logan will have none of it and refuses to listen.

Carl and I mainly spend time together on the weekends we don't have our kids, or meet for lunch or breakfast. I'm at a loss. Logan is now 17. I don't want to lose Carl. He's a great man and wants what's best for me and the kids. What should I do?-- PULLED IN TWO DIRECTIONS IN CANADA

DEAR PULLED: Logan may be 17, but he is acting like a child. Do not let his behavior discourage you from having a life. In another year he will be 18 -- and either concentrating on finishing his education or finding a job.

Logan needs to realize that he hasn't "lost" a godfather, and that everyone may eventually be gaining a stepdad. He also needs to understand that if he can't accept it, he will find himself odd man out in an otherwise healthy, happy and functional family.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of five years, "Todd," is a daily pot smoker. We met during our senior year of college, and I knew he smoked. I don't use drugs, and I assumed that after college he would grow up. However, it seems unlikely that he will quit, and frankly, I'm sick of it.

I have asked Todd for the last four years to please stop, but he hasn't. He keeps saying he will, but I don't know how much longer I want to wait. I know it's unfair to expect to change someone, but I would not be comfortable getting engaged or married to Todd if he's still getting stoned. I love him. Should I give it more time or move on?-- PATIENT GIRLFRIEND IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR GIRLFRIEND: You have been patient enough. If Todd had any intention of quitting, it would have happened already. Four years of procrastination are enough. Because you feel so strongly about this, it's time to move on because your boyfriend is not going to change.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to share a Thanksgiving tradition our family has enjoyed for years. We realized that after a big holiday dinner we weren't ready to eat a lot of dessert, so we started having "Pie Night" the evening before Thanksgiving. After a light meal we could enjoy the various pies or cakes family members brought. It became one of our favorite traditions.

My father suggested it as a social event/fundraiser to the pastor of our local church, and it was one of their best-attended events. Our family is scattered across the country now, but those times were some of my favorites, and I thought some of your readers might like to incorporate it into their holiday celebrations, too.-- GOOD TIMES IN ARIZONA

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Nov 1, 2013
1 The intern nailed it, kid needs to GTFU.

2 Pot smoking is legal, get over it. If he is working and paying his way, then its your dilemma not his.

3 I bet you eat pies both nights you glutton.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Nov 1, 2013
L1: I agree with Abby.

L2: ditto.

L3: I want pie.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Nov 1, 2013
Hey Red! Listening to queen, Thought of you!
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: I agree with Abby.
L2: ditto.
L3: I want pie.
Blunt Advice

Suffern, NY

#5 Nov 1, 2013
1. Hopefully in a few years when he is no longer a bratty teenager he will get over it.
2. Is he working and successful? If not dump him.
3. I want pie too.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#6 Nov 1, 2013
RACE wrote:
Hey Red! Listening to queen, Thought of you!
<quoted text>
Good boy!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Nov 1, 2013
LW1: He is old enough to begin to understand that his selfish motives are not doing him any good. Just keep dating and either he'll get over it or he won't. It's sad because it sounds like he'd have a great family if he'd just give this BS up.

LW2: This idea that he isn't a grown up because he still smokes is complete bullsh!t. If he is working and paying his own way, then imo he IS a grown up. That you are sick of it is YOUR problem, not his.

LW3: Mmmm, pie.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#8 Nov 1, 2013
LW1 should freely see Carl and tell Logan if he
doesn't like it, Logan can move out as soon as he's old enough.(Here, he could join the service
at age seventeen with parental permission.)

LW2 should not marry Todd at this time.

For LW3, give me a razzleberry pie with apple-cranberry juice enhancing its filling.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Nov 1, 2013
L1: He's immature and wanted Carl for himself. Continue to be there for your son but don't change your behavior for him. He might eventually become mature enough to appreciate the situation.

L2: The only problem I see here is that Todd needs to be more honest. He needs to tell her he has no intention of quitting right now. If that upsets her that much, she needs to move on.

L3: I'm going to have to stop for blueberry piece with french vanilla ice cream somewhere.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#10 Nov 1, 2013
With Toj.... especially on the pie!!!
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#11 Nov 1, 2013
LW1: Team Abby and team Toj. Quit trying so hard and give Logan a chance to come around on his own. Soon, Logan with have to deal with the life changes that occur after high school graduation. He may find that he needs Carl's guidance then.

LW2: You can't force others to change to please you. Todd clearly doesn't want to change, and you are clearly unhappy with the situation as is. You know what you need to do, but you don't want to deal with the temporary pain of breaking up.

LW3: Make mine pumpkin...
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#13 Nov 1, 2013
1: Aaaannd-this is why I'm never in the [put your kids 100% over your SO] camp. Sorry. The kids leave; the SO might stay around.
There is a balance.

2: I started dating a guy who liked the Yankees. He watched the Yankess the entire time we were together. Now, I wish he'd stop liking and watching the Yankess, but he won't. How do I get him to stop?

[see the ridiculousness?]
I don't condone pot (yeah, I know most of you are potheads but I'm not) but she knew he did this when they started dating! So annoying.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#14 Nov 1, 2013
This is probably the most intelligent post of yours that I have read. I dont mean that in a bad way, I am just surprised you can see this.
cheluzal wrote:
2: I started dating a guy who liked the Yankees. He watched the Yankess the entire time we were together. Now, I wish he'd stop liking and watching the Yankess, but he won't. How do I get him to stop?
[see the ridiculousness?]
I don't condone pot (yeah, I know most of you are potheads but I'm not) but she knew he did this when they started dating! So annoying.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#15 Nov 2, 2013
RACE wrote:
This is probably the most intelligent post of yours that I have read. I dont mean that in a bad way, I am just surprised you can see this.
<quoted text>
You shouldn't be surprised; I'm very intelligent.
But the issue is not pot, which I don't agree with.
It's dating someone with something you hate, then getting mad years later when they still do it.
I have always heralded that mindset.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#16 Nov 2, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
I don't condone pot (yeah, I know most of you are potheads but I'm not)
So, those of us who use cannabis are potheads. Does that must mean that those of you who drink alcohol are all drunks and alcoholics?

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#17 Nov 2, 2013
That's right, Moon.
Once a drunk, always a drunk.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#18 Nov 3, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
<quoted text> So, those of us who use cannabis are potheads. Does that must mean that those of you who drink alcohol are all drunks and alcoholics?
But of course!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#19 Nov 3, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
But of course!
Right on!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#20 Nov 4, 2013
And once a loon, always a loon!
loose cannon wrote:
That's right, Moon.
Once a drunk, always a drunk.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#21 Nov 4, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
<quoted text> So, those of us who use cannabis are potheads. Does that must mean that those of you who drink alcohol are all drunks and alcoholics?
I know you can't be surprised by the responses. Everyone's a comedian.

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