“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jun 12, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I live next to a married couple our age we have befriended. Unfortunately, the husband has been making unwanted advances toward my girlfriend. Being friendly with them both, we have kept it to ourselves so as not to hurt the wife. She's ill and has been in and out of the hospital.

The husband is approaching my girlfriend saying he needs "stress relief" because his wife is ill. We now feel something needs to be said to the wife, but we still have to live next door to them.

We're at a loss. What's the best way to handle this?-- HAD ENOUGH IN FLORIDA

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: The next time this man hits on your girlfriend, she should tell him bluntly that it's not her job to "relieve his stress." That is his responsibility. She should also tell him if it happens again she'll tell you AND his wife what he's up to.

As to being friendly with this couple in the future, FORGET IT. That bridge was burned the

DEAR ABBY: I have a colleague who's a drama queen. Perhaps I'm a little bit guilty, too, but "Sharon" talks excessively about her personal life. There's the boyfriend who doesn't support her and their 2-year-old child financially or emotionally, her mom who suffers from many medical conditions, and her neighbor whose daughter was murdered some months ago. Sharon's life seems to be a magnet for drama.

My colleagues and I have lent our ears and our shoulders to cry on. I have also tried to advise her (like you do) to no avail. I have now reached my limit. Is there a tactful way to deal with her? We work in proximity at least half the time, so total avoidance is not possible.-- INUNDATED IN HAWAII

DEAR INUNDATED: If Sharon asks you for advice, tell her you don't have any more to offer. And if she starts dumping on you, handle it by saying kindly, but firmly, that you need to work and don't have time to listen. If you say it often enough, Sharon will find someone else to listen. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: Do you have any advice for fathers who don't listen to you? Or fathers who are too protective and don't know how to let go?-- STARGIRL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR STARGIRL: My advice to fathers would be to form as close a relationship with their daughters as they can while the girls are little. Teenage girls whose fathers are involved in their lives tend to engage in sexual activity at later ages.

However, whether a father is "too protective" may be a question of perspective -- the father's or the daughter's. I have heard many adults say in retrospect how much they appreciate that their parents were strict. But I have rarely heard the contrary.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Jun 12, 2014
1. It is up to your girlfriend to say forcefully, NO! and don't ask me again.

Sometimes teh body language and voice tone used when one is trying to be polite does not sufficiently convey the strength of the message.

Your GF should also visit the neighbor in the hospital. It is a neighborly thing to do and it will scare the bejeezus out of her husband.

2. Yeah. Just tell her you are working. Buy a pair of ear buds. Wear them even if they are not plugged into anything..

3. Anyone who chooses "Stargirl" as a nom de plume in this context projects herself as a wild and heedless ninny. Bottom line. Your father is right. Quit whining

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#3 Jun 12, 2014
1- maybe he was implying he wants to join you on a bike ride or something. Why do people immediately jump to the worst conclusions? And why does something tell me these people are in their 80s?

2- used to date a girl like that. Called her "Issues."

3- think pe is right

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Jun 12, 2014
1 Why haven't you told the boy to bugger off or get clocked? You're a wimp.

2 Girl stuff

3 GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#5 Jun 12, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
1- maybe he was implying he wants to join you on a bike ride or something. Why do people immediately jump to the worst conclusions? And why does something tell me these people are in their 80s?
2- used to date a girl like that. Called her "Issues."
3- think pe is right
1: I could be wrong but I had the impression the guy had previously made advances and this was the latest and worst. In any case, women can often get a "feeling" about what a guy means - by his overall demeanor or body language in conjunction with his words - or even without his using any words at all. Call it a gut feeling and it makes you feel creepy. I don't doubt for a minute that this guy was making inappropriate advances.

I can understand the gf not responding appropriately the first time this happened though. She might have been shocked that this happened at all. Not everyone has a quick come-back the first time this kind of thing happens. But having had time to mull things over, she and the lw should approach this guy together (I'm sure the gf does not want to be alone with the j--k. I know I wouldn't) and tell him to stay away from them - that they are no longer friends. They might also want to start looking for a new apartment in a different building. If they're renters, they might want to start looking for a new place to live. I know I would not want to live next to someone who had made such advances toward me. If they own their home, that's a more difficult situation.
2: You dated such a girl. One of my older sisters WAS such a woman. I was a wimp and could never tell her I didn't want to listen because she made me feel as though I was the only one she could talk to.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#6 Jun 12, 2014
So, are both LW1 and girl friend visiting this guy's wife in the hospital?
And, together, why don't they tell this guy he could get rid of a lot of stress if he volunteers for Habitat for Humanity--and put that stress to
good if he can do some hammering and sawing....

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#7 Jun 12, 2014
Or, get a hooker.
not a ghost wrote:
So, are both LW1 and girl friend visiting this guy's wife in the hospital?
And, together, why don't they tell this guy he could get rid of a lot of stress if he volunteers for Habitat for Humanity--and put that stress to
good if he can do some hammering and sawing....
Renee J

Alexandria, VA

#8 Jun 12, 2014
LW3- Are you a teen whose father won't let you stay out until three in the morning? Or are you over 18 and Daddy won't let you go to college or kiss before marriage? My thought on this depends on how old you are and how he's being strict.
blunt advice

Jersey City, NJ

#9 Jun 12, 2014
1. Be supportive of his wife. But not of him because he is an a $$.
2. This is why you you shouldn't get too close and personal with coworkers too quickly. Find out more about someone before becoming their buddy.
3. When you turn 18 you can go live on your own.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#10 Jun 12, 2014
RACE wrote:
1 Why haven't you told the boy to bugger off or get clocked? You're a wimp.
!
What if LW is a woman?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#11 Jun 12, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
What if LW is a woman?
Then I'd say dude is barking up the wrong tree

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#12 Jun 12, 2014
ditto
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Then I'd say dude is barking up the wrong tree

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Jun 12, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Then I'd say dude is barking up the wrong tree
Oh and you don't know any dick heads who would try to "convert" someone or see that as a challenge?

You run in more refined circles than you let on

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#14 Jun 12, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh and you don't know any dick heads who would try to "convert" someone or see that as a challenge?
You run in more refined circles than you let on
Dudes I know, including myself, would be hitting on BOTH of them in an attempt to secure a threeway!

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