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1 - 15 of 15 Comments Last updated Apr 27, 2013
reality is a crutch

Nashua, NH

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#1
Apr 14, 2013
 
yes boys and girls it's time for a Chicago office pool.

yea I know we don't actually have a office but for entertainment purposes we will call it " Chicago office pool.

every one scribbles down the number of Chicago citizens you think will be shot dead by drug street gangs in Chicago this year. the total number of dead at 12:00 midnight will be the official death toll.

Citizens who may have been just wounded then just hung out in intensive care wards but died anytime after 12 midnight will not be counted in this years death toll. we will include them in next years death toll total.

One reader ask if "deaths by knife wounds count??"
cause her man hangs in a gang that uses knifes to settle scores"
answer: Yes , they do, any death by any instrument counts for the total deaths for the year.

for example if drug dealer could steal a CTA bus, or ice cream vendor truck and run down someone killing them that counts.

so scribble down your death total number and send it along with your $1,000.00 entry fee to me,

I will hold the money since this is my idea.

we may even get the tribune to publish the total weekly death count on the entertainment section of the paper.

since no one in the city, state or country takes the death total situation in chicago seriously we might as well have some fun and make a little extra cash at the end of the year.

I plan to buy a red Porsche convertible with my share of the winnings.

in the event of more than one correct estimate of the actual number of Chicagoans killed the first prize will be divided between the correct guess winners.

if we get enough money coming in we may even go to second & third place runner ups.
reality is a crutch

Nashua, NH

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#2
Apr 15, 2013
 
hey boys and girls, received lots of positive response and many checks to enter the Chicago office pool this week end.

for those of you keeping score we had 4 killed and 19 wounded so far for this weekend.

I will keep you posted if any of the wounded end up dying from those wounds I will move them into the killed column for ya.

the pool is off to a great start we sure picked the right city to hold a office chicago death pool total.
reality is a crutch

Nashua, NH

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#3
Apr 16, 2013
 
wow the response has been underwhelming!

I have had to add extra staff to log in all the wagers into our wager computer.

one of my staff ( the really cute one over there ) suggested that we create a web site which we are looking into.

meanwhile keep those guesses & entrance fees coming in. we almost have enough money for a down payment on a entry level Porsche convertible.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#4
Apr 18, 2013
 
...Yes , they do, any death by any instrument counts for the total deaths for the year.

so do auto accidents count?
chainsaws?
falling down stairs?
suicides by cop?
suicides in general?
Killed by frozen turkeys?
death by old age (old man time)?

Your parameters are too vauge.
benselys best

Nashua, NH

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#5
Apr 18, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
...Yes , they do, any death by any instrument counts for the total deaths for the year.
so do auto accidents count?
chainsaws?
falling down stairs?
suicides by cop?
suicides in general?
Killed by frozen turkeys?
death by old age (old man time)?
Your parameters are too vauge.
yo race
thanks for you inquiry. I have submitted your question to our rules committee for review.

they will render a decision and I will advice you of the decision.

did you include your guess along with the entrance fee to get into the pool??

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#6
Apr 18, 2013
 
Sorry, but until the deaths are quantified, I cant submit an accurate estimation.

Will be looking for updated guidelines,

Cheers.
benselys best wrote:
<quoted text>
yo race
thanks for you inquiry. I have submitted your question to our rules committee for review.
they will render a decision and I will advice you of the decision.
did you include your guess along with the entrance fee to get into the pool??
benselys best

Nashua, NH

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#7
Apr 18, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Sorry, but until the deaths are quantified, I cant submit an accurate estimation.
Will be looking for updated guidelines,
Cheers.
<quoted text>
yo Race

the pool rules committee has ruled. I was just handed the updated guide lines fresh off the copier by one of my staff, the really cute one over there by the copier.

all Homicides by any weapon are counted in the pool.

any weapon can be used in a homicide in chicago frozen turkey, ice cream trucks anything. Blacks on the south side of Chicago are creative when committing homicides as the various causes of 520 deaths last year proved.
some were killed by baseball bats, knifes.

for this pool
suicides, death by old age , accidents deaths, deaths caused by reading really boring treads on line, boring rambling political speeches, bad tv ads, those long al Sharpton or Maxine waters speeches in ebonics which no one can understand anyway will not be counted for this pool.

hope this clear up the confusion look forward to your guess and entrance fee.

thanks for your inquiry

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#8
Apr 19, 2013
 

Judged:

1

Thank you for the clarification.

I will agree with all the conditions outlined except an ebonics speech.

Anyone who does not speak ebonics would be driven to repeatedly bang their head against a wall if forced to listen to one. Though technically suicide, it was still as a result of some sort of mind control.

Actually I feel you should need a license to speak ebonically when out in public at all. Worst than listening to Spanish.

I will need to create a couple of "What if" scenarios in XLS to generate my projections. What is the deadline for entering?
benselys best

Nashua, NH

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#9
Apr 19, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Thank you for the clarification.
I will agree with all the conditions outlined except an ebonics speech.
Anyone who does not speak ebonics would be driven to repeatedly bang their head against a wall if forced to listen to one. Though technically suicide, it was still as a result of some sort of mind control.
Actually I feel you should need a license to speak ebonically when out in public at all. Worst than listening to Spanish.
I will need to create a couple of "What if" scenarios in XLS to generate my projections. What is the deadline for entering?
don't worry the dead line is thanksgiving 2013 so you got time.

for the record I took ebonics 101 for beginners at the Jessie Jackson school of communications on the south side of Chicago.

The professional begging for money class is outstanding.
Jess his self teaches that class reminding students at the start of every class " it ain't worth a dime if you can't make it rhyme" those are words to live by jess.

jess stresses that everything got to sing songy and rhymey to get the money rolling in. he showed us picture of his luxury home and ride all purchased with donations.

I did not do well in this ebonics for beginners class, only got a c- in the class, think the professor had it in for me when she discovered I was white I never tried to hide the fact even checked white on my application to the school, always did my home work, wore clean socks everyday.

Think she became suspicious of me because I never set of any of the medal detectors or wore body armor when I entered class, and spoke several other languages when I enrolled in thee class.

she always kept an eye on me in class made me nervous like she was suspicious of me cause of my race.

anyway Race, I have Been around fluent ebonics speakers and do not understand very much of what they mumble. must be they are speaking different dialects of ebonics or using local expressions other than the ones taught in school.

don't know how I could qualify for a license to speak ebonics at this point given my very limited vocabulary & understanding of sentence structure, syntax.

banging my head against a wall won't help much either, I have so few brain cells left I'm afraid that would shake out any brains I may have left.

thanks for the suggestion

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#10
Apr 19, 2013
 

Judged:

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benselys,
I think that you should re-take the class, there are so few white ebonics speakers, you could probably find good work as an interpreter.

BTW, my application is in the mail.
benselys best

Nashua, NH

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#11
Apr 19, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
benselys,
I think that you should re-take the class, there are so few white ebonics speakers, you could probably find good work as an interpreter.
BTW, my application is in the mail.
Yo Race
thanks for the advice I contacted the Jessie Jackson school of communications on the south side of Chicago and to my surprise they granted me an affirmative action scholarship. Turns out I was the only white person to enroll for ebonics 101 for beginners this next semester or ever.

Get this my scholarship includes, my own parking space in a secure area so I won't lose car parts or my car while in class cause the area around 35th and MLK drive is not the bestest neighborhood in the hood.

also get access to lunch at the professors cafeteria, access to tutors because they classify me as a disadvantaged student cause I don't live in the hood or know anyone who speaks ebonics at home or on the job.

I knew this being white would pay off some day.

keep you posted on my progress, thanks for encouraging me.
I may have a future after all.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#12
Apr 19, 2013
 
good luck to you and be proud that your
a whitebreadhonkeycrackermo'fkr
benselys best wrote:
<quoted text>
Yo Race
thanks for the advice I contacted the Jessie Jackson school of communications on the south side of Chicago and to my surprise they granted me an affirmative action scholarship. Turns out I was the only white person to enroll for ebonics 101 for beginners this next semester or ever.
Get this my scholarship includes, my own parking space in a secure area so I won't lose car parts or my car while in class cause the area around 35th and MLK drive is not the bestest neighborhood in the hood.
also get access to lunch at the professors cafeteria, access to tutors because they classify me as a disadvantaged student cause I don't live in the hood or know anyone who speaks ebonics at home or on the job.
I knew this being white would pay off some day.
keep you posted on my progress, thanks for encouraging me.
I may have a future after all.
bensleys best

Nashua, NH

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#14
Apr 22, 2013
 
ahhhh another increase in the dead & wounded by gun fire count over the week end, hope your keeping track of the totals for the year.

those entries are still coming in and we are logging them into the pool computer as fast as we can.
benselys reality

Nashua, NH

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#15
Apr 24, 2013
 
hey Detroit is getting into the city death pool for 2013 this will be separate from he Chicago death pool.

Detroit has lost so much population with people moving because of the violence they will never catch up to Chicago for 2013.

but it's something for the tired sad souls of Detroit to look forward to for the end of the year.
benselys reality

Nashua, NH

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#16
Apr 27, 2013
 
remember wounded do count in the 2013 Chicago death pool contest, although we did not have a lot of killed so far this week end the wounded count is way up.

so keep those estimates and entrance fees coming in.

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