Kind Joel,A person may have frequent mystical experiences, be highly intellectual, be well-educated, have terrific good looks and have loads of money but if there's no one to love him and care for him be sure sooner or later an emotional disturbance or a psychological imbalance sets in and destroys him. This aside, if he's targeted by the malevolent vital beings or by sorcerers who've let loose on him the adverse forces then his life becomes hell unless he finds a higher power to vanquish the troubles and silence or chase away the trouble-makers.
There is no reason for you to be unloved and un-cared for. You but need to break out of your self imposed seclusion and be with people. Not just your all too infrequent sojourns to high scale restaurants where the blood suckers milk you of your money and care little for you. Real encounters. You have so much intelligence but you do nothing with it. Surely there are institutions that can use your intelligence. Have you thought of teaching? Have you thought of research through your local universities?
If nothing else, you have taken the first step in realizing that there is a hole in your life. There are places to go for support. I am sure that those who share the same beliefs as you have such services available.