Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#21 Jul 16, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
3- I get this too, even "why aren't you married?" Hey, find me a woman I can live with and maybe we'll talk.
The next time they ask that, tell them to invent a time machine so that you can go back to 1953, or, better yet, 1933, because that's the only way you're gonna find the "woman you can live with." Or who can live with you.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#22 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I was a thumb-sucker until the 3rd grade, so I have a little sympathy for these kids. It was totally a self-soothing thing and the more my mom and other family members tried to get me to stop, the harder I resisted. I only stopped because I got braces and couldn't get my thumb in around the cage thing they cemented in my mouth.
I saw Super Nanny or Nanny 911 do a really cute thing with pacifiers. She told the girl that the pacifier fairy needed the girl's pacifiers back so they could be given to other babies who really needed them. The family collected all the pacies they could find and tied them to a tree in the back yard before bedtime. Of course, in the morning they were gone and the girl seemed very pleased that she was helping the pacifier fairy out and did not whine or cry that they were gone and even turned a missed paci in to her mother.
NIck's sister/BIL did the same thing when their youngest turned 3 -- the pacifier fairy came and gave E her first barbie doll (which she had been asking for).
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#23 Jul 16, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
LW2- yeah, probably time for a visit from the binky fairy... not suer what SIL will do iwth the younger nephew. M sucks 2 of his fingers when he's tired, the older one never had anything like taht.
My niece does the same 2 finger thing! My daughter (who doesn't do that) has an appliance in her mout for tongue thrust. Maybe that could be used for the finger thing. It's kind of sharp in the mouth so you can't put your fingers there.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#24 Jul 16, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
NIck's sister/BIL did the same thing when their youngest turned 3 -- the pacifier fairy came and gave E her first barbie doll (which she had been asking for).
I took my daughter's away a little after she turned 1. All of the sudden one day, she BEGGED me to take a nap (she was never big on naps). Then, when I put her in the crib, she wanted to sleep the opposite direction than normal. I left, waited a little bit and peeked back in. She had found a pacifier at some point and hid it on the floor by the back corner of her crib. She inched up to that corner and was reaching down trying to grab it. She actually got it and popped it in her mouth and, of course, I busted her. It was actually very funny! And it made me VERY nervous about her sneakiness come the teen years!!!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#25 Jul 16, 2013
Nick's youngest does the two fingers thing, too. One day after the kids had played in the dirt while we played softball, we got in the car and nick said "Alex! Get your fingers out of your mouth! They're filthy!" Alex held his fingers up and said "Not any more!"

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#26 Jul 16, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
My niece does the same 2 finger thing! My daughter (who doesn't do that) has an appliance in her mout for tongue thrust. Maybe that could be used for the finger thing. It's kind of sharp in the mouth so you can't put your fingers there.
That's exactly what I had back in the 3rd grade. I could not get my thumb in my mouth with that big cage hanging out in there.

Is your daughter's removable? Mine was cemented in.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#27 Jul 16, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Nick's youngest does the two fingers thing, too. One day after the kids had played in the dirt while we played softball, we got in the car and nick said "Alex! Get your fingers out of your mouth! They're filthy!" Alex held his fingers up and said "Not any more!"
i havent seen M do that, but both boys can be kidna fanatical about beign "dirty" so it might not be a problem.
M will also actually ASK to take a nap or go to bed! Now if only he'd start asking mommy to go potty, maybe he'd make some potty training progress! don't know why she's been so reticent to start it with both of them... A got kick-started when he started going to school...
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#28 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
That's exactly what I had back in the 3rd grade. I could not get my thumb in my mouth with that big cage hanging out in there.
Is your daughter's removable? Mine was cemented in.
Nope - she can't take it out. She's pretty used to it now. It's been about a year. But she says it's hard to eat lollipops with it. She never was a thumb sucker, luckily.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#29 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
Amy was trying to get the LW to shame his daughter who is lounging around in not much clothing by coming to the table with just boxers on, which is NOT lounging around.
speak for yourself.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#30 Jul 16, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>speak for yourself.
I have a mother who criticizes my children for minor infractions of table manners, so I'm just trying to save myself some grief by delineating when we can be more informal and when we can't. If we are eating at the table, I expect your underwear to be covered. If we're eating in front of the TV, then all I expect is for you to have underwear on.

But different strokes and all that.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#31 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I have a mother who criticizes my children for minor infractions of table manners, so I'm just trying to save myself some grief by delineating when we can be more informal and when we can't. If we are eating at the table, I expect your underwear to be covered. If we're eating in front of the TV, then all I expect is for you to have underwear on.
But different strokes and all that.
Different strokes for sure. But my comments to you were addressing your supposition that lw's daughter could not possibly be wearing that to the dinner table. Hanging around my house, I have some nice comfortable loose fitting shorts that my wife recently got me. She got them for me because she thought the boxers that I'd been wearing around the house for years were getting old and ratty. Basically, once I'm home, I'm home. There is no different dress code for the living room vs the kitchen. There is a different dress code for hanging round my house vs going out of the house.

If I know someone is coming over, I might change into something else. But if someone stops by unexpectedly, or maybe for a brief visit to drop something off or pick something up, I wear what I wear. And forget people staying with us. They see me in my natural habitat. Ain't getting gussied up for them.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#32 Jul 16, 2013
"Dear Readers: I'm marking my 10-year anniversary of writing the "Ask Amy" column by rerunning some of my favorite Q-and-A's from the early days of the column. I return next week"

Don't bother, you worthless hack.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#33 Jul 16, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Different strokes for sure. But my comments to you were addressing your supposition that lw's daughter could not possibly be wearing that to the dinner table. Hanging around my house, I have some nice comfortable loose fitting shorts that my wife recently got me. She got them for me because she thought the boxers that I'd been wearing around the house for years were getting old and ratty. Basically, once I'm home, I'm home. There is no different dress code for the living room vs the kitchen. There is a different dress code for hanging round my house vs going out of the house.
If I know someone is coming over, I might change into something else. But if someone stops by unexpectedly, or maybe for a brief visit to drop something off or pick something up, I wear what I wear. And forget people staying with us. They see me in my natural habitat. Ain't getting gussied up for them.
I was assuming that the LW would have listed "at the table" as one of the places his daughter was dresses in this unacceptable manner if this actually happened. Being half naked at the table would rate more outrage than while just watching TV, I would think.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#34 Jul 16, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
When I took my qualifying exams (in 1978) the kid sitting next to me had the remnants of his blankie and kept rubbing teh side of his face with it during the exams. As it turned out, I knew his sister. I was 28 at the time, he must have been 26 or so.
That is weird.
However, both my girls had blankies. I can tell you where the remnants are at the moment. At least one has come out fairly recently at a time of high stress.
Both used pacifiers. Those were withdrawn gradually at around 3-5. I figured it was better to have those , which could be controlled rather than thumb sucking which is harder to break. Meh. It all worked out. They turned out okay.
I could never get my kids to use a pacifier and gave up. My older daughter sucked her thumb and we tried ignoring it thinking she'd outgrow it and other times we would constantly remind her to stop. Neither method worked. My older sister said we should ignore it because my daughter would not be sucking her thumb while she walked down the aisle. Right. The stress of the wedding was so high I bet she had to fight to stop herself from sucking her thumb. She is now in her mid 30s, has 5 children, and I am told she still sucks her thumb sometimes. I say if this is the worst problem you have with a child, count your blessings. The same goes for the "blankie."

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#35 Jul 16, 2013
Pippa wrote:
< I say if this is the worst problem you have with a child, count your blessings. The same goes for the "blankie."
I imagine at least a few moms of special needs kids think some of us are making a big deal over nothing when it comes to things like this. "I still have to change my 10yo's diaper. I'd give anything to have my main complaint to be he still sucks his thumb."
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#36 Jul 16, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
I took my daughter's away a little after she turned 1. All of the sudden one day, she BEGGED me to take a nap (she was never big on naps). Then, when I put her in the crib, she wanted to sleep the opposite direction than normal. I left, waited a little bit and peeked back in. She had found a pacifier at some point and hid it on the floor by the back corner of her crib. She inched up to that corner and was reaching down trying to grab it. She actually got it and popped it in her mouth and, of course, I busted her. It was actually very funny! And it made me VERY nervous about her sneakiness come the teen years!d!!
Now that amazes me. She was a year old and told you she needed a nap, wanted to sleep the other way around, and was reaching for her (presumably hidden) pacifier under the crib? She could plan this at one year of age (or was she much older?) and all of the sudden saw a pacifier and made plans to get to it during her nap? My kids must have been "slow" because I do not recall any of them doing any thing like that at that age.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#37 Jul 16, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I imagine at least a few moms of special needs kids think some of us are making a big deal over nothing when it comes to things like this. "I still have to change my 10yo's diaper. I'd give anything to have my main complaint to be he still sucks his thumb."
That's probably true. One of my children had special needs but that didn't enter into my response. I'm in my 60s and have known many kids besides my own and have seen how some parents respond to things of this kind. It can become like a major war for some parents to get kids to stop using a pacifier, sucking their thumb or fingers, or needing their blankie (or "B" as my grandson calls it). I simply don't see the point of turning it into a major thing. Sure, go ahead and do what you can within reason to help them lose their dependence on these things since they will likely be better off in the long run. I simply feel a child's overall health (both physical and emotional), behavior, moral values, and education are more important. I don't see the value in making this a highlight of their young lives. I am not a psychologist and have no idea why kids get attached to this kind of thing but they appear to give them some kind of comfort. Perhaps child experts (pediatricians, child psychologists?) have an explanation and solutions for parents.

It occurred to me while writing this to wonder whether there is some kind of connection between a child's dependence on these kinds of "comforts" and the "comfort" some adults find in drugs or alcohol. Does the age a child gives up the blankie or thumb and whether a major "fight" forced them to give them up have any connection with whether they later become addicted to drugs or alcohol? Perhaps it is just a trait that some people are born with which manifests itself one way as a baby/young child and another as a teen or adult. Maybe (more likely) there is no connection whatsoever.(Sorry, as I get older I become more like my mom in her later years and my mind wanders into weird musings.)

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#38 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I was assuming that the LW would have listed "at the table" as one of the places his daughter was dresses in this unacceptable manner if this actually happened. Being half naked at the table would rate more outrage than while just watching TV, I would think.
Again, different strokes. I would not expect any distinction from him as I don't place any greater significance on the kitchen table than the living room. They are both HOME.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#39 Jul 16, 2013
Pippa wrote:
<quoted text>
I simply feel a child's overall health (both physical and emotional), behavior, moral values, and education are more important. I don't see the value in making this a highlight of their young lives. I am not a psychologist and have no idea why kids get attached to this kind of thing but they appear to give them some kind of comfort. Perhaps child experts (pediatricians, child psychologists?) have an explanation and solutions for parents.
It occurred to me while writing this to wonder whether there is some kind of connection between a child's dependence on these kinds of "comforts" and the "comfort" some adults find in drugs or alcohol. Does the age a child gives up the blankie or thumb and whether a major "fight" forced them to give them up have any connection with whether they later become addicted to drugs or alcohol? Perhaps it is just a trait that some people are born with which manifests itself one way as a baby/young child and another as a teen or adult. Maybe (more likely) there is no connection whatsoever.(Sorry, as I get older I become more like my mom in her later years and my mind wanders into weird musings.)
Not weird. I sucked my thumb until I was 9 or 10.I bit my nails, too. I started smoking around age 14. Rationally I am convinced there is a connection. I stopped smoking on my own at 31 . I stopped biting my nails in 1976 . I have sought and never been able to identify a reason why I was able to stop two long standing habits when and how I did. But they were gone and never came back.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#40 Jul 17, 2013
Pippa wrote:
<quoted text>
Now that amazes me. She was a year old and told you she needed a nap, wanted to sleep the other way around, and was reaching for her (presumably hidden) pacifier under the crib? She could plan this at one year of age (or was she much older?) and all of the sudden saw a pacifier and made plans to get to it during her nap? My kids must have been "slow" because I do not recall any of them doing any thing like that at that age.
I have known two or three kids like that. That's it. And I've known a lot of little kids. I think that whole thing is rare, it's like the perfect storm: a certain kind of parenting style + certain kid's personality = "I'm ready for bed now" kid.

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