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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Jul 16, 2013
ear Readers: I'm marking my 10-year anniversary of writing the "Ask Amy" column by rerunning some of my favorite Q-and-A's from the early days of the column. I return next week:

I am the father of a 19-year-old daughter. She is a great kid, smart, stays out of trouble and has lots of friends. The problem is that she likes to run around the house in her underwear. I will come home from work and she will be sitting in front of the TV with just a T-shirt and underwear on or come out of the shower with only a towel on her head. She doesn't do this when we have houseguests. I have asked her to put more clothes on, but she just tells me not to be so stuffy. My wife thinks this is just a passing phase. What do you think? Confused Father

Dear Father: Your daughter's reaction to you tells me that she doesn't worry too much about respecting your point of view; I don't know how that strikes you, but that would probably bother me more than the nudity.

If she continues to refuse to respect this pretty simple request, the next time she spends an evening at home, you might want to come to dinner wearing only your boxer shorts. If she asks you what's going on, you can look at your daughter and say, "Stop being so stuffy! Please pass the potatoes." (2004)

Dear Amy: I have six children and I am concerned about my
3-1/2-year-old.

I'm embarrassed to say he still uses a pacifier and is very attached to his "blankie." Blankie is nothing more than a filthy ball of string. The last time I washed it, some of it disintegrated in the dryer.

Every time my son finds a string from "blankie" on the floor he melts into tears, crying, "Blankie's dying." To make matters worse, the director of his preschool was recently over for lunch. My son walked into the room with his pacifier and blankie in tow. I have never felt so ashamed in all my life. I don't even think I can face her again unless he has given up his habits? Under Pressure in D.C.

Dear Under: My niece recently came to visit me from college, where she is an accomplished track star and "A" student. Imagine my surprise when she unpacked her "blankie," which I remember seeing her wrapped in as a baby.

After six children, one thing you've no doubt seen in your family is how different your kids are from one another. Your little guy might get treated like the treasured "baby of the family" at the same time he is being trampled by roving gangs of older siblings. He might be tough-as-nails, but can you imagine the tension he might be feeling as he resists growing up?

Any seasoned preschool director has seen children come into school with all sorts of different needs and anxieties. She and your son's teachers can help you wean him from these love objects by insisting that blankie and his pacifier stay at home, or in his cubby during school. You follow through at home by putting them in a place he can't get to so he has to ask you for them.

In terms of blankie-shredding, a friend of mine had a daughter whose blankie was literally down to strings. Finally, it was sealed in a sandwich bag, which the daughter kept in her locker at school. She starts college this year with the blankie in the bag.(2003)

Dear Amy: I am a young, successful female who happens not to have a boyfriend. But I am plagued by relatives, friends and acquaintances who think this is outrageous and frequently ask why I'm not dating anyone.

Do you have any witty replies to this annoying question? Single And Fine With It

Dear Fine: When I face the boyfriend queries, I usually just pat my coat pockets and say, "Oh, I know he's in here somewhere."

Sometimes I say that he's waiting in the car.

Readers, what do you say?(2004)

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#2 Jul 16, 2013
1: My father was the kinda guy who after working everyday in the heat, liked to sit around in his boxers. I didn't find that weird, but he wasn't sitting around naked either.
2: Your kid is a nut job.
3: "my boyfriend is with your tactfulness...out."

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Jul 16, 2013
L1: She's an adult living at home. Tell her that she either puts on more clothes or she finds her own place to live. What a rude little brat.

L2: You're ashamed of your 3.5 year old kid but not of your own parenting that has created this "embarrassment"? Do you now know that you can take the pacifier away? Oh, what's that? YOu don't want to deal with the hassles? Is your kid potty trained? I bet he's not and you don't want to deal with that, either. Maybe you should have stopped at 5 kids, because you don't seem too thrilled with 6. I think you sound pathetic. And your 3.5 yo kid sounds quite normal.

L3: Roll your eyes and say, "No, I still do not have a boyfriend, I don't know what's wrong with me, HEAVY SIGH."

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#4 Jul 16, 2013
1- Not seeing a problem.

2- Ok, if you still have your "blankie" when you go off to college, you have a problem.

3- I get this too, even "why aren't you married?" Hey, find me a woman I can live with and maybe we'll talk.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#5 Jul 16, 2013
1 Sounds kinda weird, take her to a shrink.

2 Sounds kinda weird, take him to a shrink.

3 Sounds kinda weird, go see a shrink.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#6 Jul 16, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
2- Ok, if you still have your "blankie" when you go off to college, you have a problem.
When I took my qualifying exams (in 1978) the kid sitting next to me had the remnants of his blankie and kept rubbing teh side of his face with it during the exams. As it turned out, I knew his sister. I was 28 at the time, he must have been 26 or so.
That is weird.

However, both my girls had blankies. I can tell you where the remnants are at the moment. At least one has come out fairly recently at a time of high stress.

Both used pacifiers. Those were withdrawn gradually at around 3-5. I figured it was better to have those , which could be controlled rather than thumb sucking which is harder to break. Meh. It all worked out. They turned out okay.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Jul 16, 2013
LW1: "If she continues to refuse to respect this pretty simple request, the next time she spends an evening at home, you might want to come to dinner wearing only your boxer shorts. If she asks you what's going on, you can look at your daughter and say, "Stop being so stuffy! Please pass the potatoes."

The LW NEVER said she comes to the table with just a t-shirt and undies. She's this way while relaxing in front of the tv or just hanging out, where/when it seems perfectly appropriate, imo.

Maybe she's hot (not *that* kind of hot edog) and you should get A/C.

LW2: All this seems age-appropriate, and if you don't make too big a deal about it, he will give up both when he's ready. It must tough to be one of six; give the poor little kid a break and lighten up!

LW3: "Readers, what do you say?"

This reader says "F*ck off!"

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

#8 Jul 16, 2013
Saluki Rod wrote:
1: My father was the kinda guy who after working everyday in the heat, liked to sit around in his boxers. I didn't find that weird, but he wasn't sitting around naked either.
Mine, too. He'd put on pants when we had houseguests. My friend's dad refused to put on pants houseguests or no. At home, he was in his boxers and if anyone didn't like it, they didn't need to come over.

Some people don't like clothes the same way that I don't like shoes.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#9 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
Maybe she's hot (not *that* kind of hot edog) and you should get A/C.
Ha. I've seen that on billboards:

"Your wife is HOT! Get the ac fixed!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Jul 16, 2013
squishymama wrote:
The LW NEVER said she comes to the table with just a t-shirt and undies. She's this way while relaxing in front of the tv or just hanging out, where/when it seems perfectly appropriate, imo
Do you wear different clothes for dinner than yo do while watching tv? When I get home from wprk, I chanfe right away into something comfortable for lounging. That's what i waer the rest of the evening regardless of what I am doing.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Jul 16, 2013
Answer for lw3

I just don't have time for a bf. I'm usually nusy every night of the week with my bullpen of fluck buddies. I love the clock

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#12 Jul 16, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Do you wear different clothes for dinner than yo do while watching tv? When I get home from wprk, I chanfe right away into something comfortable for lounging. That's what i waer the rest of the evening regardless of what I am doing.
Same here. I get home, I go to the bathroom, I head into the bedroom to change into PJs or shorts/tank top/tshirt. My mom always did that -- as an adult, I have never worn "street clothes" around my house, not even jeans.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#13 Jul 16, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Do you wear different clothes for dinner than yo do while watching tv? When I get home from wprk, I chanfe right away into something comfortable for lounging. That's what i waer the rest of the evening regardless of what I am doing.
I come home and usually change too, but that always includes a shirt and a bottom (almost always a skirt for me).

But I said that because Amy was trying to get the LW to shame his daughter who is lounging around in not much clothing by coming to the table with just boxers on, which is NOT lounging around. The two situations are not comparable and hence this tactic will not work.

My girls will run around in just their underwear if it's REALLY hot (sometimes this happens in the winter too because of our radiators) and I will insist they put on some clothes to come to the table and eat. I could care less if they watch tv in their skivvies.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#14 Jul 16, 2013
LW2: The pacifier should have been taken away 2 years ago. You are a lazy mom. This is your own fault and now you have to fix it. And good luck with bills to fix the kid's overbite and messed up teeth.

If you couldn't handle having 6 kids, you shouldn't have had 6 kids.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

#15 Jul 16, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Same here. I get home, I go to the bathroom, I head into the bedroom to change into PJs or shorts/tank top/tshirt. My mom always did that -- as an adult, I have never worn "street clothes" around my house, not even jeans.
I don't usually change because I don't have to dress up for work and what I wear to the office is comfortable enough for the house. Plus, I currently have an opposite sex platonic housemate, so I keep it decent.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Jul 16, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't usually change because I don't have to dress up for work and what I wear to the office is comfortable enough for the house. Plus, I currently have an opposite sex platonic housemate, so I keep it decent.
The only time I dress in a tank top at home is when it's pretty warm (like this week, over 90 with h igh humidity). Otherwise, shorts (knee length) and tshirts is how I roll.

I don't wear jeans in the home. I may come home from work, change into PJs, then back into jeans for Nick picking me up to go to dinner, then when I'm home, I am out of the jeans again.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#17 Jul 16, 2013
I *hate* when I see an older child (like 4) out in public with a pacifier in his mouth, and he can talk around it like a pro. Take that damn thing out of his mouth.
Mimi

United States

#18 Jul 16, 2013
Chris had a blankie. He didn't carry it anywhere it just stayed on his bed and later in a drawer. It disappeared about ten years ago. Neither one of us knew where it went. He had a teddy bear too. Likewise didn't carry it anywhere but it always had a prominent spot in his room. The night he died Teddy was with him in the hospital. I have Teddy put away now.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Jul 16, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I *hate* when I see an older child (like 4) out in public with a pacifier in his mouth, and he can talk around it like a pro. Take that damn thing out of his mouth.
I was a thumb-sucker until the 3rd grade, so I have a little sympathy for these kids. It was totally a self-soothing thing and the more my mom and other family members tried to get me to stop, the harder I resisted. I only stopped because I got braces and couldn't get my thumb in around the cage thing they cemented in my mouth.

I saw Super Nanny or Nanny 911 do a really cute thing with pacifiers. She told the girl that the pacifier fairy needed the girl's pacifiers back so they could be given to other babies who really needed them. The family collected all the pacies they could find and tied them to a tree in the back yard before bedtime. Of course, in the morning they were gone and the girl seemed very pleased that she was helping the pacifier fairy out and did not whine or cry that they were gone and even turned a missed paci in to her mother.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#20 Jul 16, 2013
LW2- yeah, probably time for a visit from the binky fairy... not suer what SIL will do iwth the younger nephew. M sucks 2 of his fingers when he's tired, the older one never had anything like taht.

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