Abby 5-21

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“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
May 21, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. I regret moving in with him when I did, which was after only three months of dating.

We have been through a lot, including my struggle with various health issues. Throughout this he has become an insensitive person who treats me like garbage. There has been a lot of emotional abuse happening, and it has taken me quite a while to be able to see it.

The other night I was about to break up with him. Then he suddenly changed his tune. He said: "I'm listening. You're right. I need to change. I love you."

Abby, at this point I really don't care, but I gave him another chance. Was I wrong to do that? He has changed for now -- quite drastically -- but I know he could easily go back.

I no longer love him. I also no longer find him attractive, and I actually think he's immensely annoying. He's trying to get me to fall back in love with him, but I really don't want to. So do I stay or do I go?-- WAVERING IN CANADA

DEAR WAVERING: Re-read the last paragraph of your letter, and you will see in your own words why it's time for you to go. He may be trying, but frankly, it is too late. Pack your bags. There's nothing deader than a dead romance.

DEAR ABBY: A friend recently shared some great advice. Her mom is 86 and in poor health, so my friend put together an emergency information briefcase for the trunk of her car and another one by the front door.

If anyone needs to take her mother to the ER, all her important information is in two places. This includes medications, doctors, insurance cards, Living Will, power of attorney and family emergency numbers.

I took my friend's advice, and it turned out to be a godsend when I had to take my 79-year-old mother to the ER after a serious fall. The admitting clerks said they wished everyone would do this.(I also included $100 in cash in a small envelope.) I hope you think her idea is worth sharing.-- GLAD I DID IN ALABAMA

DEAR GLAD: If the admitting clerks said they wished everyone would do this, then it's worth a mention in my column. Readers, advance planning such as this could save precious minutes in an emergency.

DEAR ABBY: Due to an accident I had as a teenager, I can't father a child. How far into a relationship should I wait to tell a woman this? While I wouldn't mention it on the first date, I don't want someone to feel betrayed if she wasn't informed.

There's also the issue of finding a woman who's OK with it. So far, the ones I have dated ended the relationship because they couldn't accept being childless or adopting.-- GUY WHO NEEDS AN ANSWER

DEAR GUY: Mention it when the subject of children comes up. Not every woman wants children. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

P.S. If you include the fact that you can't father a child on your dating profile, it will filter out those women who do. I'm advising you to prepare for an avalanche.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
May 21, 2013
 

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1 Awwww give the guy a chance! He's changed. I dont get it. You told the guy to do XXY and he did. Now being XYZ is not enough, know what? Maybe he's better off without you.

2 How about you keep all that important paperwork in a minalla envelope in a SAFE? Not in a car that can get broken into or stolen, and not by the front door for any smash and grab thug to get a quick $100 and Identity theft information. Think People!

3 So, are you shooting blanks or is the entire cannon out of commission?

Since: Jan 10

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#3
May 21, 2013
 

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L1: This is what you get for moving in with a boyfriend after knowing him for only three months. Break up, take your stuff, and learn from your mistakes.

L2: You keep her medication in that bag? That seems foolish. Medications expire, and many insurance plans don't let you build up enough of a cushion with a pill supply to allow you to have some "extra" set aside.

L3: I don't think he should mention his inability to have children on match.com since he is willing to consider adoption, and even better if he's willing to consider donor sperm. But I think he should say something early on in dating. Certainly not wait more than 2-3 months.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#4
May 21, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: This is what you get for moving in with a boyfriend after knowing him for only three months. Break up, take your stuff, and learn from your mistakes.
L2: You keep her medication in that bag? That seems foolish. Medications expire, and many insurance plans don't let you build up enough of a cushion with a pill supply to allow you to have some "extra" set aside.
L3: I don't think he should mention his inability to have children on match.com since he is willing to consider adoption, and even better if he's willing to consider donor sperm. But I think he should say something early on in dating. Certainly not wait more than 2-3 months.
I think the LW meant a list of the medications.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#5
May 21, 2013
 

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L1: Listen to yourself! You really need to ask Abby if you should go ahead and break up with someone you're not in love with, not attracted to, and annoyed by?

L2: What Race said.

L3: What Ang said with a side of Race's question.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#6
May 21, 2013
 
2- Hw can you keep medications in a go bag? Don't you need those on hand?

3- date women who already have kids.

Since: Jan 10

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#7
May 21, 2013
 
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
I think the LW meant a list of the medications.
I re-read and I think you're right.

Since: Jan 10

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#8
May 21, 2013
 

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But how DARE you correct me!!!
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#9
May 21, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
But how DARE you correct me!!!
Oops!!!:P

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#10
May 21, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
L1: Listen to yourself! You really need to ask Abby if you should go ahead and break up with someone you're not in love with, not attracted to, and annoyed by?
L2: What Race said.
L3: What Ang said with a side of Race's question.
What jamwow said.

Thanks for saving me the work.

Since: Jan 10

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#11
May 21, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
3 So, are you shooting blanks or is the entire cannon out of commission?
Ooh good question. Poor guy. Hope it's the former and not the latter.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#12
May 21, 2013
 
Speaking for all men everywhere, I hope so too.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Ooh good question. Poor guy. Hope it's the former and not the latter.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#13
May 21, 2013
 
LW1: Oh great, now I can't get that Clash song out of my head. I have observed that for most women, when they are done with a man, they are DONE. "Baby, take me back PLEASE, I'll change!" just doesn't work past a certain point. So you should go.

LW2: What Race said.

LW3: You should get yourself checked again and periodically. I've heard of people who were told by doctors that they were infertile and then - surprise!

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#14
May 21, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
What jamwow said.
Thanks for saving me the work.
You're welcome! Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

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#15
May 21, 2013
 
LW2 - or at least know where teh folder is at your hme and at the other person's home. although, i had to scramble for hte POA paperwrok in an unanticipated situation 2 months after gramma died. but, since we kept the info in an agreed upon place in a specific folder, it was easy for hubby to grab it and bring it to me when in was in a pinch.

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