“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Oct 12, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I am 19, and because of some traumatic events in my past, I'm afraid of the dark and sleep with my baby blanket. I went to counseling about it, but eventually stopped because it didn't help. I haven't had any real problems as a result of the issue because I live at home and my boyfriend has been supportive in accommodating my needs when I stay with him. Plus, I don't need my blanket when I'm with him.

My concern is about the upcoming semester. I will have to move to the main campus of my university in order to continue my education. This means I'll be living in a shared dorm. The two times it came up during high school, I was teased mercilessly until something else came along. While I have reached the point where I can go without my blanket for a few nights, any longer and it starts to get to me.

I don't want to have problems when I move to the main campus because I'm already going to stand out for moving in the middle of the year, but I don't know how to keep training myself to give up my blanket.-- STILL SCARED IN DELAWARE

DEAR STILL SCARED: You might not have to. I have a suggestion that might be helpful, but it would require having your blanket converted into a "huggie pillow." That way you can still sleep with it but it would no longer resemble a baby blanket. Many people sleep with an extra pillow, so it wouldn't appear to be odd at all.

DEAR ABBY: My vegetarian, won't-harm-a-fly husband owns two handguns. They were bought before I met him. He knows I don't approve. I have always felt strongly about not raising children in a home where guns are kept. His argument for having them is that he distrusts our government. He claims the guns will protect our family if there is ever an uprising or a riot.
While I support his desire to protect our family, I'm frightened by the much more immediate possibility of an accident happening, or the children finding them and harming themselves or someone else.

We plan to start a family in the near future, and I have tried to talk him into either getting rid of the guns or storing them elsewhere. Every time I raise the subject, it turns into an argument and he insists he won't get rid of them. I'm at a loss about how to resolve this problem. Any advice?-- UNWILLING TO GIVE UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNWILLING: Would your vegetarian, wouldn't-harm-a-fly husband consider trigger locks for his weapons or a gun safe? If not, then perhaps you should consider raising your children with a man who isn't already married to his guns.

DEAR ABBY: What do you do if you like a teacher? Do you just hide it? He always comes to my table and I can't focus because I get so distracted. I think he's very good-looking. I'm 13 and he's 23. What should I do?-- CRUSHING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CRUSHING: What you're experiencing happens in countless classrooms and it's perfectly normal. Unless you're an accomplished actress, hiding your feelings would be like trying to smuggle dawn past a rooster. Function as best you can, and don't stare at him because it could be embarrassing for him. If you want to impress him, be his top-achieving pupil. The strong emotions you're feeling will fade once an attractive young man your age appears on the horizon. Trust me on that, because I'm speaking from experience.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Oct 12, 2013
Lw2: Abby, why are you assuming he does not already take such precautions?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#3 Oct 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw2: Abby, why are you assuming he does not already take such precautions?
Because the LW would have said so...maybe.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Oct 12, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Because the LW would have said so...maybe.
Why? Some people don't like living with guns. Period. Safety measures or not.

Her objective in this letter is getting her husband to get rid of them, not store them more safely. With that in mind, if her husband was not storing them safely, I think she would have jumped all over that as more reason why she feels unsafe. Conversely, bringing up the fact that he takes all safety precautions and she still does not want them will paint her as the inflexible one.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Oct 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Why? Some people don't like living with guns. Period. Safety measures or not.
Her objective in this letter is getting her husband to get rid of them, not store them more safely. With that in mind, if her husband was not storing them safely, I think she would have jumped all over that as more reason why she feels unsafe. Conversely, bringing up the fact that he takes all safety precautions and she still does not want them will paint her as the inflexible one.
She sounds sufficiently wound up about it that any place he would agree to put the guns would not likely be safe enough for her.

Forgive me for being skeptical about his stated reasons for keeping the guns- danger to the family is more likely to come from a criminal, home invader, car jacker rather than a riot or the government. If the cops or Obama's secret NSA police burst in in the middle of the night, the gun will only help if it is under your pillow. If he thinks there is a true risk of riot, get a house in a better neighborhood.
And, if he wouldn't hurt a fly, the question is , does he know how to use the things?

I don't mind guns. There were shotguns around when I was growing up and my dad was a Chicago cop. LW's husband doesn't seem to fall into a reasonable mold.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#6 Oct 12, 2013
1 College Baby! Stick your head in gravy, wash it out with bubble gum and send it to the Navy!

2 Nice way for amy to tell the physco broad to dump her husband if we wont get rid of the guns. How about telling her to educate herself on guns and gun safety. And tonks is right, I am sure they are already safely stored, and she aint even pregnant yet.

3 Sext him and then you can visit him in jail
Cass

Claremont, CA

#7 Oct 12, 2013
LW1 - Cover your pillow with the blanket. Say you like the texture. I bet your college roommates won't even notice, really. Also, people do tend to grow up quite a bit between 16 and 19. Your college roommates will probably be a lot more mature than your high school classmates and treat you more maturely. If not, you can request a room change. You may also find out that you won't need your blanket once you adjust. You seem to not need it with your BF, so you may find that away from your parents' house, you wont' need it either.

LW2 - I wouldn't consider living in a house with guns, no matter how safely stored, but I am siding with Tonka and Race on this one. The LW *married* the guy, knowing his feelings about guns and knowing that he owned them. If she was and is opposed to them so much, this issue should have really been talked about and resolved before she made the commitment to him. Now, it's simply the time to negotiate the safe storage and to learn to handle guns safely.

LW3 - Get a grip on your 13yo self. He is an adult. You are CHILD. Yes, you hide it. You'll get over it, too. For now, just try not to land the guy in jail or ruin his life and career. Stay the h&#603;ll away from him and don't try to flirt.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#8 Oct 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw2: Abby, why are you assuming he does not already take such precautions?
If he does, and she's still paranoid, he needs to dump her liberal @zz.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#9 Oct 12, 2013
1- You deserved to be teased mercilessly, weirdo. Sometimes peer pressure works better than any therapy.

3- Yeah, she's gonna land this guy in prison!

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