Actually, Illinois does not agree with you. Smirk all you wise you silly thing, but there isn't a thing you can do, other than continue to whine.<quoted text>
Gay marriage is an oxymoron.
Illinois certainly won't change that.
Learning to live in the real world is really your only option, unless you want to be that miserable crotchety person rocking alone on your porch and lamenting the demise of the "good ole days", that really weren't all that good.