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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#1
Sep 7, 2013
 
Dear Amy: I am an 11-year-old girl. I had a crush on a boy at school. He told me he liked me too. After a while he told me he had a crush on someone else. He was very polite and said he still wanted to be friends with me.

I was a little upset but eventually I accepted things and decided to stay friends with him. Later, in math class, I said something mean to one of his friends. I honestly don't know where this came from, but I did it.

A few days later, he told me he had changed crushes again. We had an end-of-the-year party at a roller rink, and I told the new crush that he liked her. This was complete carelessness and unkindness on my part, and I don't know why I did it.

Well, he found out and was mad at me. He said that when he told me about his crush he was "hyped up on candy" and hadn't meant it.

I sent him a message that I was extremely sorry. He replied that he couldn't forgive me. He told me he was moving to a different school district. He did not say why, and I can't help but think it's because of me. Should I apologize again? Sad Friend

Dear Sad: Your friend is not changing schools because of you. His folks probably think this other school would be better for him for a bunch of reasons. One way to keep in touch with your friend would be to ask him, "Hey, I hope your new school is great and that you like it. What's it like there?" If he doesn't answer, leave it alone.

You sound like a thoughtful
girl. What you are doing is normal for kids your age. You are learning about crushes and friendships and about facing your mistakes.

Here's my best advice for you: When it comes to candy, stay off the hard stuff. When it comes to friendships, ask yourself this question: "How would I feel if someone said (or did) this to me?" Take a breath, and then do your best to always be your smartest, kindest and spunkiest self.

Dear Amy: I am a married 50-year-old with two grown children. When I was younger, I had plenty of friends. My friends have either moved away or we have drifted apart. My co-workers are pleasant, but they would rather keep their work life and private life separate.

I have tried meeting new people through classes and social groups at my church, but everyone seems to be too busy to take on a new friendship (I even had someone tell me that once).

My neighborhood has become more of a rental community, so neighbors come and go quickly. My husband isn't very social, so we don't go out much. I feel lonely most of the time and spend most of my time reading, doing word puzzles or watching TV. I feel like I'm living the life of a 90-year-old.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. Any advice on how to make new friends at my age? Lonely

Dear Lonely: Volunteer for a cause you believe in. Volunteering is different from joining or taking a class because you are actively working together, and it is easier to get to know people when you are engaged toward a common goal. I also suggest getting a dog (if you're able). Dogs are brilliant at banishing loneliness, and walking a dog is good for you and a great way to meet other humans.

Dear Amy: "Worried Mom" was concerned because of her daughter's close romance with a Muslim boy. She was afraid that her daughter would convert without understanding the religion. I agree with you that the red flags in this relationship concern the secrecy and control.

When my daughter was in a similar relationship, I did as you advised. I stayed calm and hoped that college life would do its magic. By second semester they had broken up. Relieved

Dear Relieved: When young people are involved in controlling relationships, parents should try very hard to keep their door open.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
Sep 7, 2013
 

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1 11 years old and already a drama queen, oh wait is that what "spunky" means?

2 50 yrs old and still cant figure out how to function on your own. If you need someone to draw you a map on how to make friends, it's small wonder you dont have any.

3 Yeah, its terrible when kids date outside of there religion, like catholics with prodastents or jews and gentiles or shia and sunni. Alls they really want is to control our women and breed us out of existence.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#3
Sep 7, 2013
 

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1- Swap out 11 year old with 21 year old, "crush" with "fukk," roller rink with frat party, "hyped up on candy" with "rolling on ecstasy," and "moving to a different school district" with "impregnating your sister," and we might have an interesting letter!

2- Face it, lady, no one wants to be your friend.

3- She'll decide that strapping on a bomb and blowing herself up in a crowded theater just isn't as glorious as it sounded at first.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

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#4
Sep 7, 2013
 
LW1 - I refuse to read any letter written by anyone under the age of 17.

LW2 - I dont' get it. Have you not made any friends at work? People you met through your kids when they were younger?

LW3 - I don't remember the original letter. Did the Mom hear, "Muslim" and freak out? If yes, she is a bigot. If there were indicators of abuse - emotional, verbal, or physical - then I'd be more concerned about them than the guy's religion.

Most Muslims I know are just regular folks who happen to go to the mosque on Friday instead of the synagogue on Saturday or church or brunch at Denny's on Sunday. I also know a couple of fundamentalist Christians who are complete nuts. The ones I know don't seem violent, but if one of them did go radical and blew up a mosque or a Denny's full of atheist brunch-ers, it totally wouldn't surprise me, considering their rhetoric.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#5
Sep 7, 2013
 

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If those dam radical Christians would stop blowing up things, maybe more people would be tolerant of Christianity?
Crusader Rabbit

Winnetka, IL

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#6
Sep 7, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
If those dam radical Christians would stop blowing up things, maybe more people would be tolerant of Christianity?
You think after 800 years they'd learn
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

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#7
Sep 7, 2013
 

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I don't like Westboro's "cult" either. Help me
understand this stereotype:

The stereotype is that many atheists are angry with
a "god" they say they don't believe in--but don't have the same dislike/anger towards Santa Claus or the tooth fairy, etc. That seems like a paradox.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#8
Sep 7, 2013
 

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Cass wrote:
LW1 - I refuse to read any letter written by anyone under the age of 17.
Well, you're in luck because some adult helped with this one.
Carelessness on my part? Give me a break!
This letter is weird, even for an 11 y/o.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#9
Sep 7, 2013
 

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Cass wrote:
LW2 - I dont' get it. Have you not made any friends at work? People you met through your kids when they were younger?
She did say her work peeps wanted to keep work and personal separate, which is weird. I've never heard anyone actually say that.
That, combined with the people telling her they don't have time to make new friends (wtf), tell me the problem might be her.

I find it hard that she can't even join groups at church. There are always tons, but she said that's not panning out...odd.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

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#10
Sep 7, 2013
 
cheluzal wrote:
<quoted text>
She did say her work peeps wanted to keep work and personal separate, which is weird. I've never heard anyone actually say that.
That, combined with the people telling her they don't have time to make new friends (wtf), tell me the problem might be her.
I find it hard that she can't even join groups at church. There are always tons, but she said that's not panning out...odd.
Hey, I think she's the meeting-monopolizing loudmouth in today's Annie's Mailbox (Letter #2) http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox...
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#11
Sep 7, 2013
 

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VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Hey, I think she's the meeting-monopolizing loudmouth in today's Annie's Mailbox (Letter #2) http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox...
Ha! Maybe. I kept picturing the opposite: some socially-unaware mouse that people avoid.

Of course, I am more intrigued by LW1 and want to punch her. It's like people try to get divorced by marrying the worst person for them. It's infuriating.
Julie

Skokie, IL

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#12
Sep 7, 2013
 
LW1: Dear Amy: "I am an 11-year-old girl." blahblahblahblahblahblahblah

Bullshit. No one believes you, and no one cares. Go find someone else to lie to.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#13
Sep 8, 2013
 

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L1: I like edog's take.

L2: Eh. I kinda know what the LW is talking about. My closest friends live in different states now. Still have them as friends but you don't see them day to day. We've had such a downsizing at work that most of the people I've made relationships with don't work there anymore and people are a bit skittish about letting anyone know anything personal. I understand it. When your 50+ it's rare you have that best friend you talk to every day. Maybe that's what she's missing. Lasting, close friendships take time and energy and sometimes you don't have that with kids, husband/bf, work, etc. Or maybe she's a bltch and no one wants to be her friend.(mimi shrug)

L3: Don't remember the original letter, don't care. Was entertained with edog's response, though.

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