First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Apr 10, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I have just discovered that my granddaughter's mother helped her get a Facebook page on which she is listed as 17, interested in men and in a relationship. The child is only 11, but you'd never know it from the makeup and hairdo in her photo.

I am heartbroken that she is being "marketed" this way and that her prospects for a life of achievement and happiness are zero. I have little to no contact with her because I have been put off by her mother's "street" attitude. If her lips are moving, the woman is lying. My granddaughter is disrespectful and ignorant.

What breaks my heart is that I had hoped to pass on to her items that have been in our family for generations, including a sizable inheritance. What can I do to salvage a relationship with a girl who wants nothing to do with me? Failing that, where can I turn to replace her with a more suitable heir? My son can't father any more children.-- SAD GRANNY IN FLORIDA

DEAR SAD GRANNY: Your granddaughter may be disrespectful because her mother dislikes you, and you haven't been around enough so the girl could really get to know you. Also, she is only 11. Her mother is presenting her on Facebook in an inappropriate manner (to put it mildly), and the result could be tragic.

Is it possible for your son to talk with a lawyer and seek custody? If it's not, he should contact child protective services. Rather than "replace" your grandchild, it would be better for all concerned to help her.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, I found out that my wife of 14 years was sneaking around behind my back with her high school sweetheart. I confronted both of them and it ended. I forgave her, but I still can't sleep at night because of something that's bothering me. His wife has no idea about the affair, and I feel guilty that I haven't told her about everything that happened.

Some of my friends say I should call her and tell her, but now it seems like it happened too long ago to bring it to her attention. Also, in an attempt to get her husband to come clean -- which he did -- I promised him I wouldn't tell his wife.

My wife and I have patched things up and we're having the best years of our life together. So the question is, should I break my word and possibly upset my new relationship with my wife so I can not feel this guilt?-- CAN'T SLEEP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR CAN'T SLEEP: Surely there's a better cure for your insomnia than causing needless pain to the wife. The affair ended years ago, and she is blameless in all this. Because you are still having trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor about it. Some sessions with a psychologist or a licensed family therapist may help you to assuage your guilt and find closure.

DEAR ABBY: I have had the same barber for several years and he is a good friend. While he was on vacation, I used another barber in the shop for a cut. I really like how he cut my hair. How can I change barbers without causing hurt feelings?-- LOOKIN' GOOD IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR LOOKIN' GOOD: Barbers are human like everyone else. If you announce that you want to make a change, there probably will be hurt feelings. The question you must ask yourself is, is your relationship with your barber/friend such a close one that you're willing to tolerate continuing to patronize him even though you think someone else can do a better job.(Now that's friendship!)

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Apr 10, 2013
1 Dear granny:
F* that little brat, I am the perfect heir for you. Please check out my FB page and friend me.

2 It's not guilt over not telling her that is causing you to lose sleep, its your need to trash your relationship with your wife. Quit trying to ruin a good thing just so you can feel like a victim.

3 Yeah, and if you were bald you would not be friends at all.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Apr 10, 2013
LW1: HAHAHA!

While I'm not endorsing an 11 year old having "interested in men and in a relationship" as her status, this woman is so far overthe edge.

"her prospects for a life of achievement and happiness are zero."
WTF?!?

"DEAR SAD GRANNY: Your granddaughter may be disrespectful because her mother dislikes you,"
And that dislike is a 2 way street. Granny don't sound like she's interested in mending any fences.

"Is it possible for your son to talk with a lawyer and seek custody?"
Yes. What a great idea. I bet that never crossed his mind. But now that she has an inappropriate Facebook status, that changes EVERYTHING!

LW2: Nunya.

LW3: Go get a haircut on days your friend is not there but the other guy is.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 Apr 10, 2013
L1: I"ll be your heir.

L2: "I feel guilty that I haven't told her about everything that happened." You mean you want to rat the other guy out and mess up his life like yours got messed up.

l3: There's a Seinfeld episode about this.

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

" Live, Laugh, Love "

#5 Apr 10, 2013
L1. You don't have a relationship with the granddaughter because You choose not to, regardless of the problems with the mother. There are many wonderful charities to leave your estate and belongings to, research and pick one.

I don't know about FB.. I don't have one.

L2. Forgive, Forget and move on. You are just wanting to be vindictive to the man your wife messed around with.

L3. Just tell him you like the way "john" cut your hair. Be honest.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#6 Apr 10, 2013
1- Oh so what? You're acting like it's some type crime to wh0 re out an 11 yr old on the internet. Not in our new America, lady!

2- Still you wonder who's cheatin who, who's bein true, who don't even care anymore?
Who's doin right by someone tonight
And who's car is parked next door?

You said you forgave her. Get over it and move on. Now you're just wanting to be vindictive.

3- So what? I have a girl I went to HS with that I prefer to cut my hair, but if she can't fit me in for a week or is off or whatever, I go somewhere else. I've even joked about it, saying I hope she doesn't mind that I "cheated" on her. She doesn't care.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#7 Apr 10, 2013
Hmmm, I don't know what it says about my day when Tonka already wrote exactly what I was thinking.

"her prospects for a life of achievement and happiness are zero."
WTF?!?

I am still gasping for breath!

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#8 Apr 10, 2013
L1: "My son's baby mama is whoring out my granddaughter and I have now deemed this offspring unworthy. How can I replace her?" Are you effing serious?

L2: This has nothing to do with your concern for the other guy's wife. You want to commiserate. You want her to hurt like you hurt.

L3: Part of me is on Team Hatti and another part is on Team Tonka.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#9 Apr 10, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L1: "My son's baby mama is whoring out my granddaughter and I have now deemed this offspring unworthy. How can I replace her?" Are you effing serious?
I know! Not "How can I get more involve din her life?" or "How can I approach her mother and establish a relationship?"

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Apr 10, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I know! Not "How can I get more involve din her life?" or "How can I approach her mother and establish a relationship?"
You also have to wonder, if they were ever married and if part of the reason they are not together is because of the LW. She's talking about inheritance, Makes me think she comes from money and this "street" girl was not up to her standards for her son and she made it clear from the start.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Apr 10, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>You also have to wonder, if they were ever married and if part of the reason they are not together is because of the LW. She's talking about inheritance, Makes me think she comes from money and this "street" girl was not up to her standards for her son and she made it clear from the start.
That's right! I forgot about that comment! I'm back to laughing...

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#12 Apr 10, 2013
LW1: You can try to reach out to her and try to influence her in a more positive manner, but you can’t force someone to have a relationship with you who doesn’t want to. Try reaching out and if that doesn’t work, find a cause you believe in and donate to it.

LW2: As far as I'm concerned since she cheated on you, you can do whatever the f' you need to do to get over what she did to you. If you wanna f' the dudes life over, go ahead and f' the dudes life over. You've earned that right because of what your wife did to you. F’ her or her opinion on the matter. F' him and his opinion on the matter. It's all about you. If it upsets your two timing wife so much, tell the b1tch don't let the door hit her in the aS$ on the way out the door.

You won't do this, of course, cause you're a puss. Women don’t respect that. That’s why your wife cheated on you in the first place.

LW3: Just go to the other guy and don’t make a big issue of it. If the guy brings it up, then just tell him you like how the other guy cuts your hair.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Nashville, TN

#13 Apr 10, 2013
1. Her prospects for a good life are zero? Have your son consult a lawyer and seek custod? Geez, is today Overreation Day? If you really are soooooooo put off, then consider a charity or some other cause about which you have passion, like debutantes.

2. If you and your wife are (supposedly) good, then why does anything else matter? You want her to suffer like you did? Enjoy what you have and mind your own business.

3. Tell your guy you like how the other guy cut your hair and hopefully he can show him how so you can stick with him,'cause a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do to look good for the ladies, amiright?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#14 Apr 10, 2013
LW1: Yeah, I can't get over "her prospects for a life of achievement and happiness are zero." either.

And couldn't Granny sic the FB cops on the granddaughter/mother since she knows the info provided is lies? IDK, just askin'...

LW2: What happens in that other marriage is not your problem. Take a freaking sleeping pill already.

LW3: Don't you think that your barber/friend will notice that your hair is cut differently? Just tell him you like it that way and hopefully he'll be able to follow it.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#15 Apr 10, 2013
L1: This is what you do. Pick out a great boarding school for her, pay for it and tell the mother you will give her $100,000 if her daughter completes the boarding school. At the end of it, you'll find out just how important your money is. The mother of the girl will love it, the daughter will hate that everyone thought of money before her. Sorta like what you're doing right ow.

L2: You SAID you forgave her but you really didn't. You have to decide whether or not you really want to be in your marriage and if that's yes -- then go see a psychologist and vent about it there.

L3: Tell your usual barber how you like him to cut your hair now. He's probably only doing it like you told him to years ago. Speak up.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Apr 10, 2013
Toj is onto something: EDUCATION. Pay for the granddaughter's college education. Set up a trust so the money can't go to the mom, can only go to education (voc school, trade school are fine too).

Invest in the child. Let her know early on that you are helping her prepare for her future. Some kids who have no hope for their future don't do well in school b/c they don't see the point.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Apr 10, 2013
" I have little to no contact with her because I have been put off by her mother's "street" attitude."

Hmmm....I looked at this line a little more.

Does her son not have any custody rights? Does her son not have any visitation? If her son gets the daughter for any length of time, her mother's street attitude should not be a hindrance to her having contact with the child as she could see the daughter when she is visiting with the father. If her son has no custody or visitation, it says something about the father that the courts deemed "street" mama a more fitting parent.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#18 Apr 10, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
" I have little to no contact with her because I have been put off by her mother's "street" attitude."
Hmmm....I looked at this line a little more.
Does her son not have any custody rights? Does her son not have any visitation? If her son gets the daughter for any length of time, her mother's street attitude should not be a hindrance to her having contact with the child as she could see the daughter when she is visiting with the father. If her son has no custody or visitation, it says something about the father that the courts deemed "street" mama a more fitting parent.
The point is that the mom has not cut contact, but the LW has. It is within LW's power to suck it up , initiate contact with the kid and establish some relationship while not trashing the mom and more important, not telling the kid that if she is good, she will be rich one day.

I like the educational trust fund arrangemnt.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#19 Apr 10, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
The point is that the mom has not cut contact, but the LW has. It is within LW's power to suck it up , initiate contact with the kid and establish some relationship while not trashing the mom and more important, not telling the kid that if she is good, she will be rich one day.
I like the educational trust fund arrangemnt.
I think we're saying the same thing, albeit with a little variation. She's blaming the mom for her lack of contact with the kid. I want to know what her son's role is in this soap opera. I can tell you that if I was not with the mother of my children, and her mother did not like me, I would not lift a finger to facilitate her getting time with my children. You want to spend time with the kids? Do that on your daughter's time. Make arrangements to go see them when they are with mom. You getting time with my kids is no concern of mine.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#20 Apr 10, 2013
LW1: Wow. You are obviously FAR more concerned about "items that have been in our family for generations, including a sizable inheritance" and finding "a more suitable heir" <gag> than the fact that your **11-yr-old** grand-daughter is being PIMPED by her sick mother. F YOU, you miserable materialistic btch--F you to h*ll and back. You're a total POS.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 15 min Into The Night 60,142
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 28 min Dr Guru 216,939
Mohammed a White Guy with Black Slaves 1 hr Hotel California 1
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 2 hr USAsince1680 1,395,958
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 3 hr They cannot kill ... 8,910
Word (Dec '08) 3 hr They cannot kill ... 6,423
last post wins! (Dec '10) 4 hr They cannot kill ... 2,152
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 8 hr Sublime1 102,527

Chicago Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages