Comments
1 - 20 of 20 Comments Last updated Feb 7, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Feb 7, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the compassion you showed "Wants to Be a Mom" (Nov. 24), the 15-year-old girl considering motherhood with her almost 18-year-old boyfriend. Having lost her dad at an early age and having a mother who prefers drugs over her daughter, must have made this young lady feel very unwanted. I understand why she might think a baby would give her the love she's missing.

I applaud you for not judging her, but instead kindly helping her to understand the consequences of her potential actions. I wish her the best and hope she'll have the wisdom to realize how important an education will be for her future. With luck, in a few years she'll be a young adult ready to assume the responsibilities of being a parent.-- LINDA IN MICHIGAN

DEAR LINDA: "Wants" was smart to write for advice before acting on impulse. She deserved a thoughtful response and not just a reprimand. Readers had much to say about her letter:

DEAR ABBY: At 15, I had the first of my five daughters. By the time I was 20 I was raising the babies by myself. Would I do it all over again? Not in this lifetime!

"Wants," your boyfriend is immature. He should finish school and get a job before thinking about children. You are only 15 and have your best years ahead. One thing that never crossed my mind was how I would be able to support my child without an education. I learned the hard way.

If you and your grandma aren't getting along, it's up to you to change your attitude. Grandma has more experience than you do in this world. Listening to her will help you avoid many of the pitfalls that I went through, and that you face presently.-- WAS THERE ONCE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR ABBY: I had my first child at 21, and while I love my son there are times I wish I would have waited a while. I missed out on college and figuring out who I was and what I wanted to do. My son and daughter turned out to have special needs, so my life has been busy taking care of them. Please tell that teen that having a baby is not at all like it is in TV commercials.-- MARIA IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: A mentor to teen boys told me that some of them deliberately try to impregnate girls so they'll have a "trophy" of how manly and virile they are. The more babies they help conceive, especially without having to be responsible for them, the more bragging can go on in the locker room. Every parent needs to know this behavior is going on. Some of these boys have punched holes in condoms and convinced a reticent girl to have sex -- then laughed at her and dumped her when she became pregnant.-- NURSING SCHOOL STUDENT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: That 15-year-old's boyfriend's desire for her to have a baby seems like a control issue to me, and it will set the tone for their relationship. She needs to say no or she will most likely be under his power for the foreseeable future. I have seen this happen too many times with high school girls.-- FORMER TEACHER IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR ABBY: Some states will accuse the young man of statutory rape, and he could end up in jail and be branded a sex offender for life. And the girl will wind up with a baby, no education and no husband to help her. Children have no business having children.-- FLORIDA READER

DEAR ABBY: Tell that girl and her boyfriend that if they want a baby, they must support that baby on their own. Those of us who are working and raising families are tired of entitlements the young ones count on for support. Life is hard. It's expensive. And it is about more than what you "want" on a whim.-- KATHY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR ABBY: Please tell her to visit Planned Parenthood. It promotes responsible parenting and healthy sexuality. I checked its website and there's an office in Blacksburg, Va., not far from where she lives. My best to her.-- SOMEONE WHO CARES IN NEW YORK

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#2
Feb 7, 2013
 

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More people on welfare, a liberal's wet dream.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Feb 7, 2013
 

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Teen sex. Loved it at the time. Now, I could go to jail for even thinking about it.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#4
Feb 7, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
Teen sex. Loved it at the time. Now, I could go to jail for even thinking about it.
I feel bad for today's teens and twenty-somethings. The late 80's/pre-AIDS singles era was unparallelled in its awesomeness.

Since: Jan 10

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#5
Feb 7, 2013
 
Oh please, that's like saying pro-choice people love abortion, edog. That's just stupid.

Since: Jan 10

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#6
Feb 7, 2013
 
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
I feel bad for today's teens and twenty-somethings. The late 80's/pre-AIDS singles era was unparallelled in its awesomeness.
Heh. I am so glad and lucky I escaped my early 20s unscathed.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#7
Feb 7, 2013
 

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Indeed! Back in the day when it was totally cool for a chick to scratch her itch.
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
I feel bad for today's teens and twenty-somethings. The late 80's/pre-AIDS singles era was unparallelled in its awesomeness.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#8
Feb 7, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Oh please, that's like saying pro-choice people love abortion, edog. That's just stupid.
It's not like saying that at all! Typical liberal irrationality.

People on welfare are more likely to vote democrat because they have this irrational fear that republicans are gonna take away their food stamps. Just like granting illegals amnesty. Think it has anything to do with fairness and giving them a shot at the American dream? No. They want 12 million more democrat voters!
Sam I Am

Huntingdon, TN

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#9
Feb 7, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
More people on welfare, a liberal's wet dream.
Funny thing, Mutt, 6 of the 7 states with the highest teen pregnancy rates are - you guessed it - red states. Seems like the family values/no welfare party isn't very good at practicing what it preaches.
Sam I Am

Huntingdon, TN

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#10
Feb 7, 2013
 
1. Gee Abby, you're the best advice giver ever.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#11
Feb 7, 2013
 
#4 sounds like an urban myth.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#12
Feb 7, 2013
 
Wow, a giant helping of depressing rehash. How nice.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#13
Feb 7, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
#4 sounds like an urban myth.
Unfortunately it's all too very true.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#14
Feb 7, 2013
 

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Sam I Am wrote:
<quoted text>
Funny thing, Mutt, 6 of the 7 states with the highest teen pregnancy rates are - you guessed it - red states. Seems like the family values/no welfare party isn't very good at practicing what it preaches.
Which states have a higher number of people on welfare?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#15
Feb 7, 2013
 
Well, if anything, perhaps people who read this can learn that you have to take care of contraception yourself and not rely on what someone says.

Unfortunately, unhappy teens do fantasize about having someone to love and sometimes that translates into having a baby. Education on this and their future is the key to helping others not fall into this line of thinking.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

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#16
Feb 7, 2013
 
LW1: I don't get the current "I want a baby" trend with teenagers at all. The last thing I wanted as a teen was to get pregnant! I felt sorry for the girls who got knocked up and tied down so young. Their lives were anything but fun and glamorous. Enjoy your youth! There's plenty of time to be a grown-up, not so much to be carefree.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#17
Feb 7, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Unfortunately it's all too very true.
I tried looking for it on snopes, but had no luck.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#18
Feb 7, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I tried looking for it on snopes, but had no luck.
Not everything is on Snopes, squish.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#19
Feb 7, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Not everything is on Snopes, squish.
Well, that's all I had time for.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

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#20
Feb 7, 2013
 

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Sam I Am wrote:
<quoted text>
Funny thing, Mutt, 6 of the 7 states with the highest teen pregnancy rates are - you guessed it - red states. Seems like the family values/no welfare party isn't very good at practicing what it preaches.
About the time Bristol Palin was rvealed to be pregnant, The New Yorker magazine did a long article comparing states that voted red vs blue and teh prevalence of teen pregnacies and unwed preganncies. The numbers were higher in red states. I will see if the article is publically on line and post a link.

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