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“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Aug 30, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two beautiful, hardworking daughters we brought up as loving, respectful parents. Recently, "Kellie," 25, got tattoos covering her right arm, leg and ankle as well as her shoulders. They are visible unless she wears long sleeves and long pants.

This has ruined our relationship because it shows how little she thinks of us as parents, and how disrespectful of our feelings she is to put the tattoos where everyone can see them. She knows we don't like tattoos because we have mentioned it to her and voiced our disappointment when she got the first one on her ankle.

I can't sleep at night or look at my daughter knowing how little she cares about our feelings. I feel it's a slap in the face that she doesn't honor, respect or love us. What do you think?-- BESIDE MYSELF IN FORT WORTH

DEAR BESIDE YOURSELF: I think it is time you toned down the high drama. What's done is done. If you do not appreciate the person your daughter is beneath her skin, you will lose her. And that would be a tragedy!

DEAR ABBY: I have a 20-plus-year high school friend who is fighting ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). I have developed a close relationship with him and his parents. His mom has shared some of his comments with me, but he hasn't shared those thoughts with me himself. The comments are, "I want to die," or, "I want to go home to God."

I think listening and being a supportive friend is what I can do for him, but I'm at a loss as to what to say to his mother. I don't know what advice to give her so she can be supportive in her conversations with her dying son.-- DEEP SORROW IN OHIO
DEAR DEEP SORROW: I agree that listening and being supportive is what you can do best for your friend. When the son raises the subject again with his mother, she should tell him that she loves him and will see that his wishes are carried out, even though losing him will be losing a part of herself.

When you see the mother again, ask if he has an advance directive for medical decisions in place. In it, a person can specify that only palliative care is preferred.

A group that offers guidance in drafting these important documents -- and one to which I contribute -- is Compassion and Choices. The toll-free number is 800-247-7421. If your friend does not have an advance directive, it's important that he make one now.

DEAR ABBY: Our across-the-street neighbors feel they need to mow their lawn three (excessive) times a week. This includes using a weed-eater and two mowers -- a push mower and a large riding mower. Quite often, the husband chooses to mow after 8 p.m. He doesn't work and could do it during the morning hours if he wants it cooler.

The noise is loud and extremely disruptive, and lasts about an hour because he goes over and over the same area. We work and would like to enjoy the few hours we have in the evening and relax. Any ideas?-- TIRED OF THE NOISE IN MONTANA

DEAR TIRED OF THE NOISE: If you're on speaking terms with this neighbor, you should ask him if he would please manicure his lawn at a different time because the noise is disruptive. If he is unwilling to cooperate, check with the city to find out if there are any noise ordinances in place. If there are, you can report the noise as a nuisance.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Aug 30, 2013
1. I don't remember another letter which quite so specifically said, "It's all bout me". I doubt LW sees anything about ether child other than what they want o see and what the child "should" be doing

2.The Mom is projecting. The sick son is at risk for a mercy kiling.

3. Use your words

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Aug 30, 2013
PEllen wrote:
1. I don't remember another letter which quite so specifically said, "It's all bout me". I doubt LW sees anything about ether child other than what they want o see and what the child "should" be doing
2.The Mom is projecting. The sick son is at risk for a mercy kiling.
3. Use your words
Ditto for me.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#4 Aug 30, 2013
LW1: I hope she likes asking folks if they would like fries with that.

LW2: What Abby said.

LW3: My neighbor mows his lawn 2-3 times a week too. If he mows it and then I do mine like a day or two later, he has to come out and mow his again. He doesnít work either. The noise doesnít bother me, tho.

Unless heís violating a noise ordinance, itís his property not yours and unless he's violating a law he shouldn't have to conduct his life on his own property to make you happy.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Aug 30, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: I hope she likes asking folks if they would like fries with that.
LW2: What Abby said.
LW3: My neighbor mows his lawn 2-3 times a week too. If he mows it and then I do mine like a day or two later, he has to come out and mow his again. He doesnít work either. The noise doesnít bother me, tho.
Unless heís violating a noise ordinance, itís his property not yours and unless he's violating a law he shouldn't have to conduct his life on his own property to make you happy.
Is that your weird neighbor? We need more crazy neighbor stories!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#6 Aug 30, 2013
LW1: Wow. She couldn't have said "f*ck you" much more loudly, could she? You must have been pretty awful for her to go to such extremes to get you out of her life.

LW2: Find a hospice program for her; they will know what to tell her to say to her son.

LW3: Earplugs?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7 Aug 30, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Is that your weird neighbor? We need more crazy neighbor stories!
Yeah ... he called teh cops on me maybe a month ago, because my dogs made a mess in their dog room ... and I had to let them outside, while I cleaned, mopped it, and let it dry ... they were outside for 15 minutes and he came out and started b1tching about it. We normally let them in the second I hear one of them bark, because we know how hypersensitive he is about it.

I told him what happened that I will let them in as soon as I am done. That wasn't good enough. Big argument between us ... after telling him he needs to take his meds and other pleasantries, I finally said, if you don't like it, do something about it! We have solid brick houses too ... it's not like a cookie cutter ... I can't imagine how it would bother someone that bad, especially when I can barely hear it in my own house.

A few minutes later, I'm taking out the poopy garbage to the can outside and I see him and his wife talking to the police officer ... I just rolled my eyes ... the policeman didn't even come talk to me. They know ... anyone would know within 2 minutes of talking to them that there is something wrong upstairs.

This is the 3rd time he's called the police on me ... the two other times the police men came over and laughed about him and joked around with me about him. I was working with a buddy on my boat, the one night and he called the police and said we were having a party. The policemen showed up and saw just me and my one buddy working in my garage, no music on, nothing loud, and they said this is not at all what we were expecting ... we were expecting some huge underage party with lots of alcohol with the way he made it sound (they were disappointed, they said, lol). We weren't even drinking ourselves.

He also told the one officer I have some type of device that allows me to hear everything in his house. As if I would want to even hear what goes on in that house.

So, yeah, the police know exactly what I am dealing with. Clearly some mental issues going on there.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#8 Aug 30, 2013
1 Ha, She sure got under your skin. Oh, and you are such a drama queen I bet everyone pushes your buttons.

2. Nice non-answer. You should have told the LW to tell the mother to talk to a counsler about that kinda crap.

3 Crop dust his lawn with roundup. Cant mow what dont grow.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#9 Aug 30, 2013
I love other people's horror neighbor stories because *i* don't have crazy neighbors. Living nex to one isn't so funny sometimes.4202

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#10 Aug 30, 2013
L1: heaven help lw should her children turn out to be gay, want a different religion, etc. people who thi their kids should be cookie cutter versions of themselves probably shouldn't have kids.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Aug 30, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: I hope she likes asking folks if they would like fries with that.
LW2: What Abby said.
LW3: My neighbor mows his lawn 2-3 times a week too. If he mows it and then I do mine like a day or two later, he has to come out and mow his again. He doesnít work either. The noise doesnít bother me, tho.
Unless heís violating a noise ordinance, itís his property not yours and unless he's violating a law he shouldn't have to conduct his life on his own property to make you happy.
Speakig of neighbors, what happened with the crazy next door?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#12 Aug 30, 2013
I should read the posts first. Sorry.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#13 Aug 30, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I love other people's horror neighbor stories because *i* don't have crazy neighbors. Living nex to one isn't so funny sometimes.4202
It causes my wife a lot of anxiety. My attitude is more like f' him ... I don't care what he thinks ... this is my house and my property and I'm not doing anything unreasonable by an objective persons standards, only by his crazy/mental standards. Still we try our best to not aggravate the situation.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#14 Aug 30, 2013
The only thing I would be concerned of as a parent with respect to the tattoos is job prospects.

My bro has a lot of tats and on the one job the owner didn't want anyone with tats working the job and anyone with a visible tat got sent packing.

Certain folks will judge you, especially if your whole arm is tatted up or like my bro you have one on your neck. That's why you don't see people all tatted up in the business world. It's just a reality.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 Aug 30, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
The only thing I would be concerned of as a parent with respect to the tattoos is job prospects.
My bro has a lot of tats and on the one job the owner didn't want anyone with tats working the job and anyone with a visible tat got sent packing.
Certain folks will judge you, especially if your whole arm is tatted up or like my bro you have one on your neck. That's why you don't see people all tatted up in the business world. It's just a reality.
Or those really big earring holes. I do not get that and I could see that also hindering your job prospects.

Unless you want to work at Trader Joe's. They don't seem to care how outrageous you look.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Aug 30, 2013
Target hires people with tats, face piercings, etc. i like that they don't rule people out based on those things.

“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#17 Aug 30, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Or those really big earring holes. I do not get that and I could see that also hindering your job prospects.
Unless you want to work at Trader Joe's. They don't seem to care how outrageous you look.
and they pay well, with benefits.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#18 Aug 30, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Target hires people with tats, face piercings, etc. i like that they don't rule people out based on those things.
The one by us does not have many "strange" looking folks. I think it has to do with the customer base that shops there; orthodox jews.

But I will never forget Rebella, with the Pinhead tat on one are and Hannibal Lechter on the other. I almost laughted out loud when I read her name tag.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Aug 30, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
The one by us does not have many "strange" looking folks. I think it has to do with the customer base that shops there; orthodox jews.
But I will never forget Rebella, with the Pinhead tat on one are and Hannibal Lechter on the other. I almost laughted out loud when I read her name tag.
Have you been to the new state street target? We engineered that!

The new target on Division that we built opens in October.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#20 Aug 30, 2013
LW1: Quit trying to control your hardworking, adult daughter. Tattoos are fashionable, and many people have them. If this is the worst problem you have, you are doing very, very well. See LW2.

LW2: My friend's dad died from ALS two years ago. It was horrible. Don't try to say anything profound, stick with "I'm thinking of you" or "What can I do to help?"

LW3: What Race said. That was hysterical!

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